Pairing: Buffy/Giles, Snyder/Lunchlady Rating: R Spoilers: Through Band Candy. Set sometime between that and Earshot. Summary: Buffy and Giles see something alarming. Dedication: To Tag. May I please have my Gilesbot back now? Rupert Giles stood stock still for a moment. He pulled off his glasses and wiped them furiously. When he replaced them, he whipped them off again almost immediately. "Dear lord!" "What's up?" Giles leapt, startled. He turned. He groaned. This was not what he needed. "B- Buffy. Hello. Aren't you meant to be in class?" She waved a slip of paper at him. "Mr. Tyler decided that my third period would be more profitably spent in the Prinicpal's office than his classroom just because I had to behead a demon that wanted to eat him up. I guess saving teacher's lives makes me a bad element. What are you doing here?" "Herr Snyder cut my budget. Again. I was going to complain." "So what are you doing out here cleaning your glasses for like the third time since I got here, and what *is* that sound anyway?" Giles blushed deeply as he became alarmingly aware of the rhythmic thumping sound from inside Snyder's office. "W - well, I - I - I'm not really sure... why don't we go to the library, Buffy?" "Don't wig on me, Giles. What's in there? Do you think I can't take it or do you just see this as your opportunity to get rid of Snyder for good?" "It's not... I just think it would be best... Buffy, please just listen to me for once in your life!" "Sorry. Sacred duty, yadda yadda. Whatever it is, I gotta save the innocent and I guess in this one case that's Snyder." "Buffy, I absolutely forbid you to go in there!" "Oooh, that's manly. And the finger pointing? Way macho." Buffy swept past her distressed Watcher and hurled open the door. She stopped as if turned to stone. "Eeeeeeeiiiwww!!" "I told you not to go in there." The pair stared in hideous fascination as Snyder bounced wildly atop the naked lunchlady. "Oh, Bertha," he groaned. "Oh Bob!" she squealed. Giles closed the door firmly. He took Buffy by the shoulder and led her away. She followed, unseeing and very nearly limp. "Come along, Buffy. I've some chocolates in my office." "But... but... that was so gross. I'm officially scarred for life." "If it's any consolation, so am I." "Grown ups shouldn't have sex." "Not in Principal's offices, certainly." "Did you say chocolate?" "Yes, yes I did." "Okay. Did you know that chocolate is like plastic surgery for the soul?" "It will rid you of your scars?" Buffy smiled slightly and linked arms with Giles. He smiled shyly down at her. "It might. And Giles?" "Yes, Buffy?" "I'm so never eeiiwwing you again. No matter how gross the idea of you and sex might be, it can't be worse than that." Giles rolled his eyes. "Very well, but I reserve the right to eeiiww the idea of you and sex as much as I like." "You've never..." she stopped in her tracks. "You've never." "No. No, I haven't." He walked ahead a few paces. He turned and looked back at his stunned Slayer. "Coming?" "Maybe not the word you're looking for today," she grinned. "But if there's chocolate, I'll go to the library with you." They linked arms again and smiled at one another. * * * * * Snyder and Bertha lay back on his desk basking in the glow of their sexual release. They puffed a pair of cigarettes. "I better get back," Bertha grunted. "Almost lunchtime." "Yeah, and I've got troublemakers to get rid of." "Same time next week?" "I'll get back to you on that. My wife will kill me if we get caught." They kissed hungrily. "Don't keep me waiting, big boy." "I won't, my little dove." * * * * * "Here we are," Giles said as he handed Buffy a bar of chocolate. She looked at the wrapper a moment as Giles dug into his. It seemed oddly familiar, but she couldn't place it. Cocoriffic. Where had she seen that brand before. She shrugged and took a bite. She must have seen a commercial for it once.