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Pairing: Buffy/Giles Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: A few. Through season 4. Summary: Giles let's one relationship go, and jump starts another. Date Written: 8/31/00 Additional Disclaimer: The song My Own Sweet Bed Tonight is written and performed by Eleanor McEvoy on her album What's Following Me, available from Columbia Records. Author's Notes: This takes place over the summer between seasons 4 and 5.
Rupert Giles hesitated a moment before knocking on the hotel room door. A kind man at heart, he hated to cause pain to anyone, no matter if it was ultimately for the best. Still, it had to be done; no point in putting it off. Taking a deep breath, he rapped at the door. It was opened almost immediately and Olivia ushered him in. "Hello Ripper", she said brushing her lips softly against his. Giles made no attempt to break the kiss, but neither did he commit to it. Olivia fought the sinking feeling in her stomach. After all, Ripper could be an awfully moody sort. "Why don't I get you a drink? I've a rather decent single-malt. You seem to need to unwind. Then, perhaps a short nap?" She busied herself pouring the liquor. "Liv, we need to talk." "Talk is highly overrated, Rupert." Her voice sounded brittle and shaky to her own ears. Olivia hated the cowardly way she was facing this situation. She plastered a smile to her face and handed Giles his drink. Still standing, he placed the whiskey carefully on the dresser and put his hands in his trouser pockets. While I'd like a glass of whiskey "I'm sorry, Olivia, but I can't stay." "You drove all the way from Sunnydale to Los Angeles to say you have to go back? Is there some Hellmouth emergency that allows you to take the afternoon off but you have to be home before dark?" She hated herself when she retreated into sarcasm so quickly. "I suppose it's something to do with her." Giles sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. This was hard to do face-to-face, but to have handled it with a telephone call would have been ungentlemanly. He started again. "This is about us, Liv. It just won't work." "Why the hell not? It always worked before." "Yes, it did, to a certain extent." He smiled wryly; the rueful half-smile that had always made Olivia's heart melt. "But I can't leave Sunnydale, and you will never settle in one place. I'm sorry." Refusing to look at him, she knocked back her drink and poured herself a second. Now take some comfort in that whiskey "So after all this time you suddenly find I'm not good enough for you." "No. In fact if anything I can't think why the hell you would want to keep me on a string. It's not as if I have a great deal to offer. You wouldn't want the life I could give you and I'm too old to keep dusting our relationship off for a dirty weekend every few years - or even months. You deserve better, Liv." "Don't lie to yourself, Rupert. If you really wanted me you'd find a way." "Perhaps that's the problem. I simply don't love you enough. If I did, or if you loved me enough, then we wouldn't be having this conversation now. We would be together or we would have been apart years ago." "So you're ready to just throw it all away then?" "Throw what away? Isn't that the point? We've been sometime lovers for how many years now? If we were doing anything more than using one another to fill in the empty spaces between other loves we would have been married years ago. I don't want that, and frankly I don't think you do either." "This is about her, isn't it?" "You keep asking that; who is she, precisely?" "Your precious Buffy. This is all about her." "What on earth are you talking about? Buffy is my Slayer. We're not lovers." "Maybe not, Ripper, but you want to be. The last time I was in Sunnydale I was scared to death of those awful monsters-" "The Gentlemen." "Whatever they were called! You spent all your time comforting her, working with her, and ignoring me." "She needed me. I am her Watcher." "No, you're not. You haven't been for ages. You told me yourself they sacked you." "Would you have me leave her to fight alone? You saw first hand how well that worked out didn't you? Yes, the Council sacked me, but they cannot take away my sacred birthright. I am Buffys' Watcher, and as such I must stay by her side. Buffy actually had the courage to quit the Council rather than waiting for them to fire her. We are neither of us in the Councils' employ, but we are Watcher and Slayer nonetheless. That will never change; it cannot." "I don't understand." He took her face gently in his hands. "No, Liv, and you never will. That's the real reason we will never work. I never meant to hurt you." he kissed her softly one last time. "Good-bye, Olivia." "She'll hurt you, your precious Slayer." "She already has, as I have hurt her. It doesn't change anything." Then he was gone. * * * * * When Giles returned to his apartment, he found Buffy curled up in a chair in his living room. "Buffy, whatever are you doing here?" "Gee, way to make me feel welcome, Giles." "I'm sorry. I'm in rather a beastly mood. Of course I'm happy to see you. Is there a problem?" "I was gonna ask you the same thing." she hesitated briefly. "I know where you went today, and why. Willow told me. So, do you need a shoulder to cry on? Or are you planning to do the whole "I don't have feelings to hurt" macho routine?" "If crying on your shoulder is anything like as embarrassing as your actions when you broke up with Riley, I think I would prefer to be macho." "Okay, so I wigged a little bit, but only because I knew it was safe with you. I knew I could get all yucky crying off my makeup and scream and break things - sorry about the paperweight; I really didn't know it was worth anything - and you'd still care about me and not get grossed out. And you're safe with me, too. I bet there's not many people who've seen you cry, but I have. So if you need to, I've got two shoulders - no waiting." His shoulders began to shake, but with silent laughter rather than tears. "Actually, I don't much feel like crying right now. I do, however, have a great deal on my mind tonight. Would you be terribly upset if I asked to be alone?" "Okay, Giles, but on one condition" he raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. She did her best to duplicate his accent as she said: "I seem to recall that this kind of thing requires ice cream of some sort." He chuckled softly at the memory. "So you do occasionally listen to me, after all." "Don't let it go to your head, Giles. But yeah, sometimes I hear what you say - especially when you're being Sweet-Guy. So, shall we?" "Buffy, I really would prefer to be by myself tonight." "So ice cream tomorrow?" "No. No, I believe there's something I would prefer over ice cream. I would like very much to take you to dinner instead." "I dunno, Giles... dinner? It's - it's just so... date-like." "Yes, I suppose it is at that. Does that make you uncomfortable?" She frowned in thought for a moment. "Not really, I guess. But what if it doesn't work out? I mean, we still have to work together and I have a terrible track record with office romances, and it could be really, really bad." "Buffy, it's simply dinner" Giles chuckled. "Don't get so far ahead of yourself. What was it you said I should say to Jenny? I have a thing, you have a thing..." "Maybe we should have a thing together" she finished. "This really is the night for embarrassing quotes from the pathetic mess that is Buffy's and Giles' love lives, isn't it? Not that we have a, y'know, I don't know what I'm saying." "Was that a yes or a no?" "It's just weird to think about going on a date with my Watcher." "Then don't think of it that way. Buffy, if there's one thing I have seen in this past year it's that we need to change our relationship. As long as I continue to see you as a girl and you see me as an outdated authority figure, we cannot work well together. There will simply be no room for me in your life, and I'm not sure I could bear that. We need to see one another as equals and partners. Besides, why should we stay home moping on a Saturday night just because our various hearts are in tatters? I enjoy your company, Buffy, and I hope you like mine as well." "Of course I do, but this is really sudden. I dunno about this." "I don't actually recall proposing marriage to you. This is more along the lines of "Watcher Slayer bonding", and I see no reason why it cannot be accomplished as effectively over Italian food as it can over tea and quarter staves." A slow smile spread across her face. "Okay, but you better behave yourself, Ripper." "I'll pick you up at seven, then, and please don't call me that. You may, however, c-call me Rupert, if you like." He smiled shyly at her. "Giles, do you have a middle name?" "Trust me when I say that if it was anything like a pleasant one, I wouldn't go by Rupert." Buffy giggled, then wrinkled her brow as a thought hit her. "Hey! You didn't promise to behave yourself." "Buffy, despite my many youthful indiscretions, I was raised a gentleman. Your virtue will be precisely as safe as you wish it to be." Buffy blushed a little as she laughed at his open-ended remark. "Well, I should be going. Tomorrow night then, G - Rupert." "Tomorrow night, Buffy." "Oh, and Giles? Just in case, I hid the scotch. I'll tell you where it is tomorrow." She took his hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. Giles lifted hers to his lips for a soft kiss. "Always looking out for me." She blushed again, surprised by the butterflies doing formation flights in her stomach. "I learned from the best." Then she was gone. Giles closed the door behind Buffy, smiled, and turned out the lights as he headed up the stairs to the loft. He knew his dreams would be sweet. If kindness takes a little longer Continue to Chapter 2
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