( RIPOSTE ][ A Watchergirls Archive )

__When Will You See Me__
By Catherine

When Buffy opened the door she felt happy right now, sure Giles would know.

It's always amazing for her; when she's here she's so happy. *Okay, I'm totally in love with my watcher, now how can I tell him? Hey, make up a demon story, he would want to reassure me, hold me and there I... hum*

Buffy was totally dreaming when she heard "Who are you, and what do you want? You could have knocked!"

Buffy looked at the woman. *Woman -- wait a minute, she's wearing... Giles' shirt, and why is she acting like she's living here? Okay I hate her. Giles must have a good explanation.*

"Hum, you're not Giles," said Buffy, trying to control her emotions, but inside she was volcanic.

"Hum, you're very shrewd, I'm impressed."

*Okay, now it's definite. I really, really hate her,* thought Buffy.

"Giles... a... child's waiting for you."

*Whaaaaaaat she calls me a child ?!?! Calm Buffy, maybe it's a demon, then I could slay her. Actually, maybe I could even if she's not after all!!!*

"Buffy?"

*Wow Breathe Buffy. Oh, he's so sexy.*

"Buffy, may I ask what it is that you want?"

"Euh, well it's private, Giles so..." Buffy looks at Olivia with a little grin.

"Olivia, can you let us alone a minute, please; it won't be any longer."

"If you want," and with that she went upstairs.

"It won't be any longer, Giles? How can you so so... Nevermind."

He looked at her and with calm (and satisfaction) said, "Quite so, Buffy. You think I can't have a private life?"

"It's not that; it's just it's so gross, and you're so old." she told him even without thought. She was so in pain, and she felt so betrayed that she just wanted to hurt him as much as she had been.

He watched her, and in a glacial tone asked, "So, what do you want?"

"Well, there is this demon and--"

"Sorry, but I can't help you."

"What? But you are my watcher!"

"Yes, I am; but you need to grow up Buffy. You're the slayer and you must do something by yourself. I have enough to do without going over all your work."

"But, if I make a mistake, Giles, research is your area and--"

"Right, but for now it's yours. You need to learn about this too, and I'm tired and "busy" so I'm going to take a rest."

With that, she turned and went to the door. With a small voice, she said like a whisper, "I see; I'm just a job for you. Don't worry, now you're free." without even looking back, she was gone outside.

*Good job, old chap. You want her to see you like a man too, but I'm afraid this worked a little too well.* He wanted to call to her to stay and to help her with the research, but he saw it was too late, and she was going... *She's the slayer, I'm sure she will be fine. She's a confirmed slayer,* he wanted so much to reassure himself.

"Rupert, are you finished? If yes, come here..."

"What... Oh, yes, we..." He blinked his eyes and tried to stop the small tears which began to appear.

* * * * *

Moments later, in a cemetery:

Buffy was slaying with an anger she hadn't ever felt; never. She was feeling so empty, so injured; and this, when she was slaying, is very dangerous.

Her mind wasn't really there, in her fight, and the demon saw it. With a "boom boom," he hit her, and she found herself lying down on the floor, practically unconscious. He took advantage of her state, to attack. He put his hands (if they could be called "hands") over her eyes. They closed, and he said some words with a satisfied grin on his lips.

* * * * *

"She told me she would be here after her stop by Giles' flat."

"I hope we find her quickly; I want some orgasms and--"

"Anya! Please!"

"Hum, like you don't like it!"

"Anya, please, we're researching Buffy." Willow was really terrified; Buffy had told her that she was going to fight this demon. It wasn't like she knew that Buffy wouldn't fight a demon to the best of her ability, but there was something in her tone when she was speaking. She didn't tell the others, but Buffy called her after her stop by Giles', and it was hard recognizing her.

Before leaving, in the afternoon, she had been so happy seeing Giles, like a girl in love; Willow knew that Buffy loved Giles and was happy for her because she knew too that Giles loved her in return, so all would be good. But after her call, Buffy had totally changed, and Willow heard a little sob, "What's happened Buff? You seem--"

"I'm all right Will, don't worry. I will fight this... sob - this demon, alone."

"Giles won't come with you?"

"No, he... he can't."

"But Buff, you seem not so good, and I don't think so it's a good idea to go fight this demon alone."

"I told you Will, don't worry. Everything is alright. I must go now. See you later."

"But Buff..." *she was already hanging up. I don't like this.* After that, Willow decided to call Xander and Anya. The Scooby Gang would help Buffy, whether she agreed or not.

"Willow? Willow? Okay, Xander to Willow."

"Hum, What?"

"I ask you where you are, because you seem a little... Willow you look terrified."

"Xander, we MUST find Buffy."

"Will, what is it?"

"I don't know, but I know that something happened and... Oh no, look."

There, Buffy was laying on the floor, she seemed unconscious.

Willow looked at her while Xander called an ambulance.

"Buffy, Buffy... could you hear me? Buffy, it's Will. Please answer me. Xander?"

"The EMTs are on their way."

"It's strange."

"What, Anya?"

"Well, there are no injuries."

"And..."

"And, well, it was just an observation."

"Anya," said Willow with an exasperation tone, "Please, Buffy is unconscious, she fought a demon and," she looked at her, "you're right there are no injuries. So, why?Ś"

* * * * *

The EMTs arrived quickly, and Buffy was transported to the hospital. While they were waiting, Willow phoned Joyce to tell her that her daughter was at the hospital. She didn't know why, but she didn't call Giles. Joyce and Dawn were just arriving when the doctor entered the waiting room to tell them the news about Buffy's condition.

"Doctor, how is my daughter?" asked Joyce.

"Well, Mrs. Summers and everyone else, the good news is that she woke up."

At this announce, the scooby gang exploded with joy; except Joyce, who looked at the doctor and said, "You said the good news so..."

"Yes, I did. Unfortunately, I'm afraid there is a problem."

"Doctor, please, what is it?"

"Well, we don't know why and how, but it seems that your daughter is--"

"Is what," everyone in the room was listening and afraid to hear.

"Is blind."

"What?"

"No, it's impossible." Anya and Xander looked at each other.

Willow and Dawn was crying.

Joyce said, "Please, may I..." she looked around, "no, may we see her, Doctor?"

"Mrs. Summers," he said, looking at all of the people in the room and seeing the real fear on every face, "Right, but..."

"Don't worry, we will be careful to not tire her," said Xander with a determined tone.

* * * * *

BUFFY'S ROOM:

When they entered, Buffy was sitting on the bed. She heard the door and looked at them, smiling.

Everybody was stunned, and filled with hope. *Maybe the doctor's wrong.*

"Buffy, you're scaring us," said an optimist Xander. "The doctor told us that you were..."

"That's right Xander," said Buffy, interrupting him before he said The Word.

"But it's not the end of the world! Wait, it's not, right?"

Willow looked at her and spoke for the first time. "No, it's not, Buff," she said softly.

Joyce looked at her daughter, then at the others; like her, they seemed a little shocked. Nobody could have imagined such a reaction from Buffy.

"Honey, how do you feel?"

"Fine Mum, really. Oh, and the doc said that I can go home, like I'm not injured."

"Do you think that is reasonable, Buffy?" asked Willow. Buffy's reaction was unbelievable and completely incredible. Nobody was prepared for that.

"Willow, I don't want to spend the night here if it's not necessary. Mom, you agreed."

"Honey, yes, but--"

"No... but's... I'm fine, and I want to go home. Pleaaase."

"All right, if the doctor agreed. But I want a confirmation."

"Yippee for Buffy."

Five people looked at each other, and for them it was a little surrealistic.

Suddenly, Anya said, "Oh, we forgot to call Giles; maybe we should."

"NO!" said an alarmed Buffy.

"But sweetheart, he has the right to know your... state, he must know."

"No, please, I don't want to tell him," said Buffy in a whisper.

"What!" asked Xander, "but Buffy, you can't do this to him!"

"He's busy, and... and he wants to take a rest."

Several voices in the room exclaimed, "What!!!" except Willow. *Here we are.*

"Buffy, you can't think that, that..." stammered an angry Dawn.

"Look Dawn, I have my reasons, and I want everyone to make me a promise."

"Buffy..."

"No Dawn, and everyone else. Please, for him I'm just a job and..."

"Buffy, you're wrong. How can you say that? You have never been just a job for him."

"Except at the beginning."

"Anya!" said Xander, looking at his girlfriend with a look that said 'it's not the moment for that.'

"But it's true," mumbled Anya.

"Xander, you don't know what's happened. So, please, I..." Buffy was searching for her words, and finally she said, "I beg you..." She was practically in tears. "Make me the promise that nobody will tell him about my... my state."

"But Buff..."

"No, please listen to me; he has the right to have a life, his life. Please, don't ask me my reasons, just respect my wishes. Believe me or not, but it's for him."

"How could it be for him?" asked Anya, shrugging her shoulders.

"Please..." said Buffy with a desperate voice.

Everyone heard it, and looked at each other.

*My suspicions were right, unfortunately. Something happened and she doesn't want to tell us,* thought Willow.

Seeing how she was, so emotionally painful, they accepted, but they knew it wasn't really a good idea. So, the a same voice, all in the room promised her. Everybody... except Joyce.

* * * * *

THE NEXT MORNING, AT THE SUMMERS':

After Buffy's return from the hospital, the gang was so tired that they all slept at her house. Suddenly, a strange "Ow" from the kitchen woke up Willow. Half sleeping and thinking she'd have to find Xander to tell him to be quiet, she was surprised to find Buffy trying to make some breakfast.

"Buffy, what are you doing? You should be in your bed, taking a rest; the last evening was-"

"I'm fine, Will. Don't worry. It's just that I couldn't sleep. So I prefer to come here and make, well, try to make, my breakfast. I'm a little starved," said Buffy shyly.

"Buffy, but, please," Willow was speechless, and for her it was a big first! "Buffy, listen to me. You should have woken me or someone else. We're here; you can count on us. Buffy, you're not alone and you don't need to prove something."

"I know Will, it's just that..."

"That what Buffy?"

"That I must grow up and do things by myself without always ask help from the others. I must be capable of taking care of myself."

"Buffy, what are you saying? Are you silly? Buffy you can count on us; friends are here for that. We've helped each other since we've first known each other. And, as for 'I must grow up', I will say just three words : Look at Xander!" Willow was totally stunned by her attitude. "Buffy, I don't why you would think a such thing; because neither of us would say it."

"Giles said it," whispered Buffy.

"Whaaaat? Buffy, When?"

"Yesterday, when I went to his flat."

"Oh, I suspected something but I could never imagine this. Buffy, if you want to speak I'm here."

"I know it. Thanks, Will. It's just that it's so hard."

"Yeah, but I'm sure if you tell me, you will fell a little better after. And if you want, I promise you that I won't say a word."

"Humm, you, Willow? Keep a secret? You're kidding!"

"Ok, hard to believe, but I will make an exception, just for you. Again!"

The two thought about the promise of the last evening, "So, you will keep that to yourself, right?"

Willow nodded, and Buffy waited, wanting to be sure. "Right?" Buffy asked again.

"Hum..." Willow had forgotten about 'her incapacity'. *It's true, she's... It's strange, if I didn't know, I wouldn't suspect it,* thought Willow; and it was the truth. Buffy had physically no mark of her blindness; her eyes looked the same as they had before the events of the previous evening. The reason was that her condition was due to the magic.

"Right Buffy, I will keep it to myself, I swear."

"Thanks." Buffy waited a moment, and said: "Willow, as you know, yesterday afternoon I stopped by Giles'." It was very painful for Buffy, and Willow guessed it, so she waited, and Buffy tried again "and there was a woman, Olivia, duh,"

"Oh!" whispered a stunned Willow.

"Yeah, a woman, and in Giles' shirt. So, when I wanted to speak about the demon, he told me that I must grow up and to learn to do stuff by myself, like research. Then, he was *busy* and wanted to take a rest, so he could have a private life."

Willow didn't believe her ears; it was so unlike Giles. "Oh, Buffy, how he could do that! I'm so sorry. Now I understand, but you could have told me. We're friends."

"I couldn't, it was so hard, and I felt so..." she was crying.

*She didn't cry when she learnt about her incapacity, but when it's about Giles it's an another story,* thought Willow. "Buffy, please. Calm down, I'm here, we're all here. Hey, we're a gang, and we will face this together. Like always, right?"

"Right," said Buffy. After a moment and having recomposed herself, Buffy talked again. "Willow, well, I want to ask you something."

"Anything you want."

"Well, I would like that we search about this demon first, but also that you could do a 'special training' for me."

"'A special training'? Buffy, what do you mean?" Willow was very interested.

"Well, to be bl..., you know," Willow put her hand on her arm. "Will, I'm always the slayer, and I must be able to fight. Giles told me once that I can feel things, people, and I have my spidey sense. I even did an entire training with a blindfold. So, I know, with work and patience I can do that."

Buffy was full of hope but a little afraid that Willow didn't agree with her, and would not want to help her.

Willow thought, and seeing Buffy so expectant, she wanted to do something, and not cry herself. She said 'Yeah, I'm sure everyone will help. It's a challenge I can't refuse, Buffy, and you're right to think like that." In fact, Willow was (a little) enthusiastic about the idea.

"We need Spike," they said together.

Buffy hugged Willow.

"Another thing, Will."

"Yes, Buffy?"

"Can you do breakfast, because I'm completely starved." At her comment, Buffy grinned, and Willow couldn't help but laugh.

Little by little, everyone woke up and went to the kitchen.

When they all were there, Buffy and Willow explained their the 'special training' project, and, naturally, about the demon research.

Joyce was perplexed, "Honey, are you sure this is reasonable? I mean, I know you're the slayer, but for the moment you need a rest."

"Mom, I want to do something and not to cry over myself. I'm sure it will help me."

Despite the light mood, Dawn didn't believe the scene before her; even her mother acted like the situation was 'normal.' "How could you do this?"

"Hum, what do you mean by that?"

"How could you do this, everyone, like it was nothing. Buffy is-"

"Dawn," Buffy didn't let her sister finish.

At that moment, Dawn understood what everyone, even her mom, had already realized. It wasn't easy, and Buffy didn't want to act like nothing happened; but like she said, she didn't want to pity herself. She was realist on her 'situation' and she didn't need someone to remind her of it. She wanted to be strong for the moment, but at some point, she would need the comfort of her family.

"Sorry," managed Dawn.

"I know, Dawn. You're worried, and so I am."

All agreed with the statement, "But, what I feel, it's... I don't know how to explain, but I know there is a solution, and we must keep hope. I must keep hope. You understand, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want this demon to win."

"Yes, Buff, right. Hum, but, before the research and the training, can we eat something? Like a big breakfast."

"And Xander's stomach spoke," retorted Willow. At her comment everyone laughed except Xander who pouted.

After a good breakfast, the research began.

* * * * *

Several hours later, Anya grumbled, "We aren't finding anything. I'm sure Giles would know already. We must ask him about-"

"No, you promised, remember," said a determined Buffy.

"I knew this promise was a mistake," mumbled Anya.

"I think I know what this demon is," swallowed a hopeful Willow.

"Really, so what is it?" asked Xander

"It's a sense demon."

"A sense demon?"

"Yeah, it's extremely rare, very powerful. And as we know, magic is their weapon." She waited a moment and continued, "The bad news is that we can't find him by a locate spell. But, the good news is, if we can find him and beat him, Buffy will get back her sight."

"Great, so we have just find him and kill him. Not original, Will," grinned Xander.

"In fact, it's not too simple. It's not 'we', but only Buffy, the victim, who'll be able to beat and kill him; because he stole one of her senses."

"Oh," and a silence filled the room.

Suddenly, Buffy grinned, "So, I was right about the 'special training'?"

At her comment, everyone laughed.

* * * * *

Days passed, and Giles called several times, first to excuse himself and say he was sorry for his attitude toward her. She was his slayer and he had to help her. Buffy accepted his apologies but answered him, "Everything is all right Giles, don't worry."

She even wished him "A good rest", because she felt he deserved it.

For Giles, it was hard, and he suspected something had happened; his suspicious grew more and more when she always found an excuse to not stop by his flat after her patrol, whenever he proposed the idea to her in each of his calls.

After four "Everything's all right, Giles. Don't worry," from Buffy; he called Willow. To his surprise (or maybe not) she repeated exactly the same speech.

So, in desperation, he called Xander; but it was Anya who answered.

"Buffy ? She's fine... Yes, she fought the demon... Hum. Giles, sorry but Xander and I want-"

"I understand Anya. Bye," said Giles, exasperated.

"Bye Giles," said Anya, and they hung up the phone.

*I don't like this, I'm sure they're hiding something,* thought Giles.

Buffy followed Willow's 'special training' every day, with the help of all the gang, but, their research to find the demon was always unsuccessful.

Joyce was gladdened by Buffy's reaction (even if sometimes both she and the gang found it was a little pushed); however, she was a little worried by several things.

One, Buffy didn't go out; Two, she controlled always her emotions, but; Three, not at night. At night she was crying when she thought Dawn and her mother were sleeping, and she was crying even in her sleep; Four, she was crying for Giles.

*I must do something,* and Joyce made a decision, *and for this, I need the help of the others.*

* * * * *

THE NEXT EVENING:

"Hey guys, why won't we go to The Bronze tonight?" suggested Xander.

"Hum, it will great," sighed Willow, "What do you think Buffy ?"

"Duh," Buffy thought "Well, all right, if you have to go. Enjoy-"

"No, Buff, if we go, you go," insisted Xander.

"Sorry but-" Buffy began.

"Buffy, please," it was Anya. "I already can't have any orgasms, because we're always here or almost and your bath-"

"Anya, I think you lost your train of thought," said Xander. *Oh, with their expression, they understand!!!* thought a very uncomfortable Xander.

"Humm. So, Yes, already no orgasms and now no Bronze; I don't agree," pouted Anya.

"Honey, I agree with them."

"But Mom,"

"No, Buffy. Go to The Bronze and enjoy."

Buffy pouted, but Joyce added, "You'll go. Final word."

After several seconds, Buffy, who understood that she had no choice, accepted, but not without retorting, "I don't know why, but I think it's a conspiracy."

"You think?" teased Willow.

All were laughing.

When the entire gang left, Joyce called Giles.

"Hello."

"Hello, Mr. Giles."

"Yes?"

"It's Joyce Summers."

"Joyce? Is there a problem?"

*Yes, it is, and it's Buffy. She's blind!*

"No, not really. I called just to tell you that Buffy is at The Bronze tonight, with the others, and if you want to meet her..."

"Thank you. I don't know why, but she refused to see me. Have you an idea of why?"

"Well, yes. In fact, Mr Giles, it's that Buffy is-"

"Rupert, what are you doing?"

"Olivia, please, I'm on the phone. Sorry Joyce, you said that Buffy was..."

Joyce was so surprised *There is a woman. This would be the reason? Oh!*

"Joyce?" asked Giles.

Joyce, lost in her thoughts, managed to return her mind to the conversation, "What? Oh yes, Buffy. Well, Buffy is... is very busy. You know, college, slaying, friends, shopping... She's very, very busy. It's like a new life for her."

"I know," answered Giles.

*I don't think so* thought an angry Joyce, *how can he think that Buffy would forget him like that, and like he doesn't count for her, like he doesn't have a place in her life, new or not?*

"So, she is at The Bronze tonight?"

"Hum. Yes, she is." *Damnit, I told him that. If only I knew it before, I wouldn't have ever told him.*

"Thanks, Joyce."

"Yeah. Bye," spluttered a distract Joyce.

"Bye," Giles replied.

* * * * *

AT THE BRONZE:

Willow had called Spike earlier to tell him they were going to the Bronze.

"Okay, Red, see you there."

"Later Spike." *Later, Spike!!! Where's the imagination Will, why not-*

"Will, are you all right?" asked Buffy.

"Yeah, it's just-"

"Don't worry, he will arrive," Buffy said with a smile.

"Buff... What are you saying? No, it's not what you think, it's just-" Willow was rambling.

"You must stop her, Slayer."

"Spike!"

"Hey Red, nervous?"

"N...No." She was smiling, "You're here. Sit down."

Buffy was laughing and the others were too, when she grinned, "Which is stranger? Willow giving orders to Spike, or Spike following, no, obeying them!!!"

"Ha Ha, very funny, Slayer."

"Yes, Buff." But Willow was delighted by her friend's humor.

"So, Spike, where were you?"

"I'm waiting for the drinks!"

"Oh, the Willow' Inquisition," said Xander with a twinkle in his eyes, "It's all right Will; we waited, when we saw him. He had already ordered the drinks." He turned to Spike "Or were you flirting with-"

"Xander, bloody hell. Stop that or-"

"Or what, you'll bite me-?" teased Xander,

"Yes."

"Yeah, like Will'll forget you."

Spike looked at Willow and muttered "Ha, to be in love... Bugger Love."

"Spike?" asked Willow,

"Yes, Red, don't worry. I never-"

"I know." It was a statement, "and Xander knows too."

"And you Xander, stop tease Spike like that!" she said with her 'resolve face.'

"You win, like always." Xander told her, and Spike agreed.

The little group enjoyed the evening, here, like before.

"You know guys, you were right."

"Buff, we are always right," said Xander and added "right, about what?"

All were laughing.

"About this... this evening, to be here, to get out."

Suddenly they heard, Willow saying "OH! LOOK!"

"Will, what-" began Buffy, when she was interrupted.

"Evening all." It was Giles with Olivia close behind.

"Hey, G-man."

"Xander," said Giles, but his eyes, since his arrival, were just for Buffy, "and as I already told you, don't call me like that!"

"Hey, Giles! What a nice surprise! Oh, and you're with a friend, so, you went to the Bronze. What a great idea. But I thought the Bronze wouldn't be in your choice, you know, not that you, well, I don't mean say to say it like that, but..."

"Honey, you're rambling," a very calm Spike interrupted her.

"Thanks Spike," sighed Willow, "Wait, you called me 'Honey'?"

"Me? No!" exclaimed Spike.

"Yes, he did."

"Slayer!"

"Vampire!"

Olivia had heard, and she looked at them with a questioning expression and a "What?"

"It's... a joke," they told her.

"Anyway," began Anya, "he called you 'Honey'. Xander calls me 'Honey' too, especially when we use-"

"Anya!" It was an alarmed Xander, "Stop, please. I'm sure they don't want to-"

"Right, it's really not interesting, and to tell the truth, very bothering," said Olivia.

"Olivia!" said Giles with a little Ripperish glare.

"Well, you know how to put the ambiance!" teased Spike, "So, Watch... Giles, why are you and your 'so nice' friend are here?" he asked with a sarcastic look toward Olivia, "because, like Red said, it's not really a place you usually visit."

Giles looked at Spike, and without answering him said, "Can we sit?"

"Of course, Giles, take a seat, and your friend too." sighed Xander.

"Oh sorry, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Xander, Anya, Spike, and Willow.

You've already met Buffy, and this is her sister Dawn."

They all said "Hi" was, but it was really by act of politeness. Giles and Olivia were practically in front of Buffy; Olivia put a hand on his arm with a defiant glance towards Buffy, who was tense. She felt something; Willow understood, and took her hand.

Buffy held it immediately.

"Buffy, how are you?"

"Fine."

"And college?"

"Great."

She squeezed Willow's hand,

"And-"

"So, Giles, how are you, and what are you up to?" Willow interrupted him,

"Buffy told us you want to take some rest. Have you found a new job?"

"Fine, I... yes, I wanted to think about several things; and I've looked. I hope I answered in the correct order." He said with a wink. He wanted to ease the atmosphere. He didn't know why, but it was strange, they were acting as Buffy's "protectors".

"Yes, as always, Giles."

"So, Buffy..."

She was drinking her mocha, "Hum, it's...," she added with a smile, "Sorry, but it's just-"

"I don't know why, but I think Buffy really likes her drink." grinned Xander.

"That's normal; her others senses are developing, so-"

"Anya?!?" interrupted Xander,

"Oh, well, sorry. Forget what I said."

"What?" Giles was more and more perplexed.

"Nothing, it's a game between us, you know," indicated Willow.

"Yes, Giles, it's a 'child' thing," said Olivia, looked precisely at Buffy.

Nobody responded. Even Giles was lost in his thoughts when Olivia asked him to dance.

"Olivia"

"Go, Giles. And it's a slow dance. It's good, no?" But it was sarcastic from Buffy.

"Yes, we will return." He was reluctant to leave them, but...

When Giles and Olivia were dancing, Anya grimaced, "I don't like her."

"Same here, An."

"She's so... she's a veritable bi-"

"Dawn," Buffy cautioned her.

"Well, but how can Giles do this to you?"

"Dawn, he doesn't do anything to me. No comment, Anya!" she warned her, "In fact, I discovered a positive side to my condition."

She felt them looked at her with an expression 'Duh'.

"Yes, I didn't see her and her little show!!!" Buffy said smiling.

"Lucky girl."

"Anya!"

"What?"

* * * * *

While Giles and Olivia were dancing, the little group was talking and laughing. Giles didn't miss it, but, there was definitely 'something'-- a strange look at each other. *No, not strange but preoccupied. By What?* Giles wondered.

He felt a sudden fear, *Oh, old man, if something happened, they would have told you!* he tried to reassure himself.

"Rupert? Something's wrong?"

"Olivia? No, no, it's all right."

Olivia looked at him, she wasn't a fool, and she knew he was lying...

* * * * *

Willow, a little worried by the evening's events, whispered to Buffy, "Buffy, you're all right, right? I mean, I suspect it's not easy; I mean-"

"I'm fine, Will," she interrupted her, squeezing her hand.

"They're coming back." murmured Xander,

"Yes, her perfume smells at two miles," smiled Buffy.

Giles and Olivia sat, and the 'silence' came back with them. *Something is off,* thought Giles, and he managed to begin a conversation.

"Dawn, how is school?" Giles strived to be light.

She stared at him, "Fine, Giles." With that she took a sip of her glass.

"Good. You know if you need something," he looked at Buffy and Dawn again, "I'm... I'm always here. For all of you. I want you to know that."

Nobody respond, nobody could; only Dawn murmured an "Unbelievable!"

"What I'm trying to say you is-"

"We understand, Giles. Don't worry, we're fine," answered Willow, before Buffy said anything. Even if she had wanted, she couldn't have said anything.

The silence was intense, since the 'return' of Giles and Olivia from the dance floor, the conversation had ended. They had stopped talking, laughing...

Olivia was studying the 'little' group, and felt the tension, but, knowing Rupert, or rather Ripper, she didn't risk telling him something. *The glare earlier was enough,* she decided.

However, Giles' patience was over.

"Buffy, can we talk? Please."

Buffy was in shock; it was not like she hadn't thought of this possibility, but between thought and when it really happened, it was two different things.

"Giles, what about-"

"Alone."

"De'ja'vu," she muttered.

"I don't think so-" Buffy tried to say.

"I wasn't a request." With that he got up, "Olivia, excuse me."

"Rupert?" looking at him, seeing his glare, she couldn't do anything but agree. "All right."

"Oh no, he is going to leave us with this bitch!" whispered Anya to Xander who nodded. Olivia's expression hadn't changed, but she had heard the comment.

Willow wanted to speak, but Spike shook his head.

"Buffy," Dawn asked, worried.

"I'm coming," said Buffy, "Everything will be right.," she whispered in Dawn's ear then added, "Try to reassure the others."

"Yeah."

Giles was waiting, and Willow saw Buffy's expression. "He's at the door."

"Thanks."

Olivia was more and more troubled, *These children are so enigmatic.*

Buffy was walking, *Think about this like a test... With that I can know if the 'special training' works. So, he's at the door. Okay, concentrate; I can smell his cologne like I did several times before. Except it was in my house, with my friends and... Hum, yes. He's just here; in fact it was easy, Giles is unique.* While she walked (and thought too much about her watcher), she didn't hear a young man, but she felt him as she bumped into him hard!!!

"Sorry," she managed, *Oh, it's better than the wall!* "I didn't..., well, sorry."

"Yeah, but you should be more careful. Open your eyes."

*Jerk,* she thought,

"Yeah," With that, she continued her walk.

It was lucky, in fact, that they had chosen a table not far from the door.

"Buffy? Are you all right?"

"Giles, yes."

"I mean-"

"Yeah, I'm just a little, you know; and lost in my thoughts, so I didn't notice him," she grinned.

"Maybe we can go outside?"

"Great idea!"

They went out to the alley.

"So, Giles, what do you want to talk about; what do you want to know?"

He looked at her; he couldn't define what the problem was.

Suddenly, he began "What do you think I want to know, Buffy!" screaming.

He was angry, and felt all his frustration; yes, frustration, of these last days. Frustration because he hadn't seen her, talked to her, and... But especially because she acted like she didn't affect by this, his absence, and for him, selfishly, it was intolerable, horrible. It was like she wanted him out of her life.

He looked at her again. She didn't move. She was waiting. *It's not like her.*

He was breathing, trying to calm himself and continued, "I want to know why you never came, or called to tell me about..." He stopped, again.

This time Buffy had had enough. Impatiently, she asked, "About what, Giles?"

*You, Buffy. I miss you so much.* But instead, he said "Patrol."

"I thought you wanted a rest." she responded coldly.

"I already apologized for that, Buffy, when I called you and asked you to come to my flat to discuss this. But you didn't."

"I gave you exactly what you wanted!" she yelled out, closing her eyes. She couldn't contain her emotions by herself.

"And now you,... you,..." she knew exactly where he was, she opened her eyes, 'looking' in his eyes, and talking directly to his soul, she added, resigned "You don't understand."

"Pardon?" With her last comment, Giles exploded, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"Leave me, Giles." she said slowly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Leave me, Giles. I don't need you anymore. Go back to Olivia."

There was silence, until he broke it. "Wait a minute. All of this because of Olivia! Olivia is just a friend. Buffy-"

"Yeah, and you fu-"

"Buffy! I don't know what your problem is, really, that you don't want to tell me. But if it is because of Olivia, I'm sorry if I want a life too. I'm a man, even if you don't want to acknowledge the fact. And, thinking about, I don't need to explain myself to you." He took a breath and added "So, it's that is it? You can have -- all of you can have -- a life, but not the old man. I don't believe it! And you're right, I should leave you."

With that, he was gone and didn't hear her whisper, tears in her eyes, "It's better for you, Giles."

He was hurt, angry; when he was at the table, he said "Olivia, let's go," without looking at the others.

"Right, Rupert. Bye, all. It was... well, you know!"

It's not necessary to say that the moment they shared was weird and annoying for all of them. Willow tried to say something, but Anya interrupted her, "What do you try to talk with her? It's a waste of a time for her and for us!"

"Anya!" spluttered Xander.

"What?"

"You can't say that!"

"She's right," Olivia answered, and pursued "You don't want to talk with me, and I don't want to talk with you. If it's just to be polite, it's not useful."

"Yeah, hope they won't talk all night," said Xander, and the others sighed.

"Euh, Giles, where's Buffy?" asked Willow carefully.

He looked at her, "Outside. Good Night." And they were gone.

"Have you seen his look?" said Willow,

"Yes, I think it was a little Ripperish, no?"

"Yes, I think too, Xander." sighed Spike.

"If he hurt my sister, Ripper or not-"

"Yes, I agree." said Willow.

"And me."

Everyone looked at Anya with a questioning eye.

"What? She's my friend too. I mean, well, she's the Slayer but she, and you, accepted me. So-"

"She's right. She even accepted me," agreed Spike.

"Wait a minute, Buffy is outside. Alone."

"Dawn's right. Come on!" it was an alarmed Xander.

They were outside in one second, and Willow was the first to see her, "Look, she's here."

Buffy was against the wall, crying. She had tried to not cry, but it was impossible.

"Buffy." It was Willow. "Buffy," she repeated.

"Willow?"

"Yes."

"Buffy, you're all right?"

"I'm fine Dawn; well, actually, at the moment, not really, but-"

"What's happened, Buff?" asked Xander.

"Sorry, but I don't want to talk about this now, it's too..."

"But if you want, you know you can tell us, I mean, you know?"

"Yes, Will, I know. Thank You. But for now, I would like to go home."

"Yes, Buffy. Come on, we're going," said Willow.

And the little group walked towards the Summers' house.

* * * * *

THE NEXT MORNING:

Giles knocked at the Summers'. Last night at The Bronze, when he met Buffy, it had been painful. She had been hurt and angry, but, he thought, he had also seen much that had been very intriguing for him. *She's definitely not as she usually is,* he thought.

Joyce opened the door and found Giles lost in his thoughts.

"Mr. Giles?"

"Hum, Oh, hello, Joyce."

"Hello, do you want or need something?" She knew that several of his books had been here since the summer, books used now to find the sense demon.

"In fact, I would like to talk with you, if it's possible?"

"Well, yes, if you want. What do you want to talk with me?"

"I think it would be better if I came inside. May I?"

"Oh, sorry, of course."

Giles entered in the house. For some reason, he was uncomfortable with Joyce (not because of their "past"; they talked a long time ago about it. The thing was now settled, for the Buffy's sake, and they now had a generally friendly attitude), but, in that moment, Joyce seemed very... cold toward him.

They sat in the living room, until Joyce broke the silence, by attacking him as she asked, "So, may I ask what you want to talk about? I'm sure you're not here just to appreciate my living room!"

"No, in fact I would like to talk about Buffy." *Am I dreaming or is she being very sarcastic?* thought Giles.

"Yes, I'm sure. So, what do you want to know my daughter?"

"Well, it's more about her strange attitude."

"Her... strange attitude?"

"Yes, towards me first, and, well, then last night. Did she tell you what happened?"

Joyce shook her head, so Giles added "She didn't seem her usual, but was actually a little disturbed. And, when I asked about college or patrol, she changed the subject. In fact, the others did too. And... we had a little quarrel, about-"

*Oh really,* thought Joyce. She didn't believe her ears. This man was sitting here, and was talking tranquilly about Buffy's strange attitude.

"So, you went to The Bronze." It was more a statement than a question.

"Yes-"

"Alone?"

The question, and tone, surprised Giles; he blinked his eyes several times and said "I beg your pardon?"

"I asked you if you went to the Bronze, alone."

"Joyce, with all due respect, I think it's none of your business!"

"You think so."

"Yes, I think so."

"So, I concluded you were with this 'Olivia'."

"Joyce." It was surrealistic; he didn't understand why Olivia's presence was important, but felt defeated, so he told her, "Yes, I was with Olivia," and added, "Again, I think it's not of your business."

"Wasn't she here the day Buffy went to your apartment before... her fight, a few days ago?"

"Joyce," he began to polish his glasses, "What's the link with all of this? Is this because of Olivia? Because my private life doesn't concern anyone!"

"Was she there?" she asked again.

"Yes, she was there. Sorry if I disappointed you!" he snorted, and added, "But I remind you that I am a man; even if Buffy doesn't know or see me like that!"

"Oh, you're so wrong! Buffy always se..." she stopped, and calm searched for her words, before saying, "knew that you're a man. Believe me." Blinking her eyes, she continued, "It's for that reason you refused to help her with the demon? Because of your ego? How were you able to do that?"

"How? Joyce, I think you underestimate Buffy. I didn't help her as I should have, and I already excused myself to her. But she beat the demon, and won the battle."

"No, she didn't," whispered Joyce, with tears.

"What? Joyce, what did you say? But she's here!"

"Yes, but she lost the battle, and the demon, in fact... won."

"Joyce, when a demon won, generally the slayer is... well." He couldn't finish his sentence.

"It's right when it's a 'normal' demon but not when it's a... how did Willow call him? Oh yes, a 'sense demon'."

"A 'sense demon'?" Giles was under the shock; he couldn't believe what Joyce was saying him. *It's a nightmare! It's not possible!* he thought.

Recomposing himself, physically and mentally, he spoke. "But they are extremely rare and powerful. Magic is their weapon, and, if I remember correctly, they steal... Wait a minute!"

Giles stopped; he was now in total watcher-mode; *If it was a such demon,* he thought, *he has stolen one of her senses. Well, she heard; she felt Willow's hand; she smelt because I heard her comment about Olivia's perfume; and it's not taste -- even if she has been able to simulate her mocha's taste, from the physiological viewpoint, taste is not dissociated from sense of smell.

So, there is only one possibility... No, it's impossible... On the other hand, it would explain Anya's comment! But, I can't believe it! It's impossible!* Giles was overwhelmed with worry by a such realization and the implications of his thoughts. A part of him refused to totally believe.

"Joyce, what are you trying to tell me? That Buffy is... is..." he couldn't finish.

"Blind, Giles, the word is 'blind'," said a voice from the shadow of the stairs. "Wow, for a man who speaks what, five? Seven languages? You don't know the word!" Buffy said, coming in the living room.

"Bu... Buffy!?!"

"Buffy! You're awake? I didn't hear you." Joyce was a little worried. Now there was bound to be a confrontation between Buffy and Giles, and not like, what she understood about what had happened the last evening, because now, Giles knew.

"Hi, Mom; Giles."

"Buffy, I'm-" he began, but Buffy cut him off.

"The gang isn't here?"

"No, honey. I think they won't be long."

Joyce was looking at Giles, she had been so angry toward him, but now she couldn't help but felt very sad for him. The love in his eyes for her daughter was so present. When he realized the truth about Buffy, it was like a part of him had broken. He was in shock; a part of him couldn't believe it. *No, it's impossible, it's impossible,* he said to himself like a mantra, *I will wake up, it's a nightmare, it couldn't... No.*

Finally, when he found the force to say "Buffy," it was like a whisper, "I don't understand. Why... why didn't you tell me?"

And now with a little anger in his voice, "Why didn't the others tell me anything? It was my right to know!"

Hurt, angry, guilty, fear, Love; all these emotions were mixed inside him. But he waited.

Suddenly, Joyce answered, "They couldn't."

"Like you Mom. You promised too."

"No Buffy. I never made that promise."

"What promise? What are you talking about?"

Buffy was sitting, eyes closed. Obviously she didn't want to tell him, so Joyce spoke, "Buffy has made everyone promise that they wouldn't tell you about her... condition."

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to have your pity."

"To have my pity, Buffy! How could you think a such thing?"

That was when something hit him, "Wait, Spike knows! Why? Why him and not me?" He felt betrayed; again she had chosen a vampire instead of him, even if he knew that Spike only had eyes for Willow.

"Why didn't you want to tell me?"

"How could you ask that!" this time Buffy exploded. All the anger, frustration, and hurt she had felt during the past few days, because of Giles and of her state, came back out.

"Buffy-"

"The reason is you, Giles. You told me to grow up. You told me you wanted a rest. You told me that I needed to do that stuff, all that stuff by myself. You told me you wanted a life, Giles; a private life." She said the last part in a whisper.

He looked at her, seeing the sadness in her always wonderful eyes, and hearing her words' implication, *No, she can't think seriously that I don't want her in my life.*

"It's not fair, Buffy. I never insinuated-"

"But you did."

He didn't know what to answer to her last comment; feeling defeated, exhausted, he did the only thing he could do now -- he went into watcher-mode; "I will research, and-"

"No! It's not necessary." Buffy said, with calm.

Before, Joyce had been silent, but now, "Buffy! Mr. Giles wants to help, and-"

"I said No. I don't want his help."

"Buffy,... I'm your watcher and-"

"Ex-watcher, remember. Now you're free. Get out!"

"Please, Buffy-"

"Why? For your conscience! It's not your fault, okay! And you don't owe me nothing; I'm not your job anymore! I'm not your responsibility anymore!"

"What?!? Buffy, what did you say? How can you say that?"

"Buffy, please, Mr. Giles' help is necessary. Be reasonable; with all the research everyone's done, we don't know anything, except the demon's category. Mr. Giles' experience is required."

"Buffy," pled Giles. He didn't know what to do; but knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to hold her, kiss her, and... She was his Love, his only and true love; *If only I knew it, if only...* He was angry with himself; if only he had listened to her when she went to his flat that day, if only his- *Joyce was right, it was my ego.*

Buffy couldn't take the conversation anymore. She had to stop it now; otherwise, she would fail. She couldn't fight him; something in his voice was so Giles, so the man she loved. The conversation had to stop now. She didn't want to tell him why she couldn't accept his help, or why she pushed him away from her.

"You should leave, Giles. I'm sure Olivia's waiting for you." she tried to say with detachment, but failed.

Emotionally, Giles was completely exhausted; he felt resigned until her last sentence.

In one second, he understood. Understood why she had had this reaction; why in his flat she seemed so hurt, angry, surprised; why she had wanted to hurt him so badly with her remark 'very old and gross', and he remembered her tone when she had said it -- calm, sadness, hurt, angry...

In a flash, all the pieces of the puzzle were reunited.

Forgetting Joyce entirely, and seeing only Buffy, Giles said with sincerity and all his heart, "I love you too, Buffy."

Joyce didn't say anything. She was not even surprised, and, to tell the truth, she thought, *It was about time.* She wasn't really very happy about, but she knew her daughter and her feelings, and wanted her to be happy. She knew Giles' feelings toward Buffy as well; he would do anything for her. For Joyce, that was the essential; so, she hoped all would be alright.

He waited for her response, but Buffy was silent, trying to keep her emotions under control. *Calm down Buff, relax. He said he loved you, right; it's not like he had said-*""I'm in love with you, Buffy."*Okay, he said it!*

Giles waited. After a moment, he spoke up. "Buffy, please, say something."

"You forget Olivia!" she snorted.

It was not what he expected.

He breathed and, with calm, "Like I already told you, Olivia is just... just a friend, Buffy. Believe me, you're the only in my heart. What I have with Olivia is just... just a friendship. I admit, it may be strange to say it, but the relationship that Olivia and I share, no shared, was just a comfort. We, oh, it 's so hard to admit it," he ran a hand in his hair, * How can I explain that?* he thought, "but we used each other. She was here, alone," then whispered "like me. So..."

Buffy didn't agree with his actions, but at this moment she couldn't say anything. She was 'in shock'.

"But now, everything will be changed," he said with smile, "Now, we're together. And you're the only... only in my heart, and only in my-" he looked at Joyce, blushing. Joyce looked at him, smiling, nodding to encourage him to continue.

"The only in my bed, Buffy. I swear you."

"It's too late, Giles," Buffy whispered. "I can't."

"Buffy? No, it's not too late. We can... must be together."

"You don't understand, Giles."

"Understand what, Buffy? That I love you, and you love me! That you're my life. That I love you with all my heart." He said the last sentence, caressing her cheek. She had felt him approaching, but was a little surprise by this.

"I can't do that to you, Giles." She was crying.

"Do what, Buffy?"

"You don't realize! I can't do that to you! Please, go away."

"Buffy!" he was exasperated.

"I'm blind, Giles." she screamed.

At that moment, the gang entered in the room. They heard something, so they kept silent. Spike, who had had a problem with time the previous night, was there too. He went back up from the cellar when he heard yelling.

Giles didn't know what to say, but knew he had to tell her something, anything to reassure her.

"Buffy, this... Your condition... this doesn't change anything for me. I love you. And don't forget, it is temporary."

"You don't want to understand, Giles."

"So tell me, Buffy, tell me what I don't want to understand. I want to know."

"You want to know why?!? Because I'm BLIND. When I close my eyes, Giles, it's dark; when I open it, it's always dark. Do you understand? Open or closed, it's the same. And for the 'temporary' part, we don't know."

"No, Buffy. When the demon is beaten, you will immediately recover your sight-"

"When the demon is beaten, Giles. I know it. But do you realize that I must beat him, and I don't see A-ny-thing."

Giles felt defeated, again. But this time, he knew she was right; and knew she was afraid.

"Oh Buffy," said Willow. Dawn was crying and understood what her sister had told her the day after her 'accident'; she said the only thing she could.

"I'm here, Buffy."

"Yes, Dawn's right, we're all with you, Buffy."

"Xander, you're all here. I didn't... Never mind."

"The discussion is over," said Buffy.

"No, it's not. You can't do that."

"I'm tired."

"Buffy-"

With that she went upstairs.

Giles was 'alone' with the rest of the Scoobies.

"So you know now, watcher. How are you felt?"

"Spike." Giles said with a Ripperish glare.

"She didn't tell you because of this woman, right, Giles?"

"Dawn?"

"What, Willow, like you didn't know?"

"Dawn is right. It was simple to understand. When we saw this bit-"

"Anya."

"At least, we know one of Buffy's reasons for making us promise." said Spike. All nodded.

"It's because of this woman, right, Watcher. She knew. But something it's not really clear. There is something else."

Giles was looking at Willow.

"She told you."

"Yes."

"I didn't want to hurt her. I... If I knew it I swear-"

"I know, Giles. But it was hard for her."

"Okay, am I the only in the dark?" grinned Xander.

"What's happened?" said Dawn, worried.

"Buffy went to my flat this day. And... there was Olivia too; well-"

"You had refused to help my sister to stay with this woman?" He nodded, "I don't believe it! Why? I thought she was important to you; I thought-"

"Dawn, it's not what you think."

"Really, Watcher?"

"Giles, neither of us blame you. I'm sure even if you had been there, you couldn't have done something. And we know it."

"I agree with Willow. Not knowing what sort of demon it was, nobody could have to prevent this consequence."

"Anya is right," added Spike.

"You must be right," said Xander.

Dawn didn't say anything. She had always expected one day Buffy and Giles would open their eyes and see they were in love with each other. It was something that everyone knew, even her mother. But now, she was angry toward Giles; for her, as if Giles had deserted her sister.

"Listen, Giles, it's not the time to feel guilty because for now, we have another problem."

"Another problem, Will?" asked Xander.

"Yes, now she admitted it."

"Yes, Red is right."

Giles was looking at them, questioning.

Seeing that, Joyce said him, "It's the first time she used the word 'Blind'. Before she, and the rest of us, always used 'condition' or 'state'."

"Giles, I think it would be better if you left."

"No, Willow, I don't want to let her. I don't want... She didn't understand that her condition doesn't change anything. I love her. I can't let her do this." He was shaking.

"Giles," Willow tried again, "believe me, I know that; but for now, it will be wiser if you-

"Yes, it's not as though it would be the first time. We don't need you."

"Dawn!"

"What? I'm not agreeing with you. He left my sister, it's his fault if she's blind now."

With that, Dawn leave the room.

"She's worried, Giles," reassured Xander, "like all of us."

"I don't want to let her!"

"Willow is right. I'll call you. But please, for Buffy's sake, you must leave now."

"Joyce?!?"

Looking at them, he agreed.

"I will drive you, Giles."

"Thanks, Xander, but-" he took a big breath, trying to hold his tears, with difficulty.

"Maybe you're right, after all."

"Come on, Giles."

"Joyce?"

"I promise, Mr... Rupert." She patted his arm in reassurance.

Giles looked at everyone, "Thanks." He didn't even really know why he had said it, then realized, "Thanks for having been with her."

He felt so weak.

Willow and Anya hugged him; Dawn couldn't. He respected her wish. With that, the two were gone.

* * * * *

"Willow, could you check on Buffy, please?" asked Joyce, even though Giles had left the house.

"Sure."

With that, Willow went to Buffy's bedroom. She knocked at her door, "Buffy? Buffy, may I come in?"

There was silence; Willow opened the door and entered in.

Buffy was lying in her bed, on her side, back to Willow.

Willow saw her shoulders shaking, and heard little sobs; she was crying. She approached the bed, taking Buffy in her arms to try to calm her.

"Buffy, shhh, it's all right. Let go; you know sometimes it's good to cry. After, you're better; well, I mean, you know,-"

"Will."

"Yes, Buffy."

"You're rambling, and Spike isn't here to stop you." Buffy said, trying to smile.

Willow couldn't help but laugh lightly.

"How are you feeling Buffy, I mean, really?"

"Willow, if I didn't know you, I would swear you're worried!" she teased her.

"Buffy, resolve face."

"Oh. You're really worried."

It was silent, then "I'm... I don't know Will. Giles knows now, and that changes everything."

"No, Buffy, you're wrong. Giles knows, yes, but this doesn't change anything."

"Will, now he wants to help and be there for me-"

"No, he wants to be with you... That's it! You think that if Giles knew, he could feel obligated. Buffy, how can you think that?"

"I don't want his pity."

"Buffy, if there is one thing I know about you two, it's if you're together, it's not because of pity."

"No, because now he's feeling guilty. Better way, yes, to be with Buffy."

"Buffy! You're wrong, and you know it. Now, that's enough! Sorry to tell you this like that, but you're completely blind," before Buffy could respond, "and I'm not talking about your eyes. But your heart. Giles loves you -- you, Buffy, not the slayer, but the woman."

"Will, he has right about a life, and I can't do this to him."

"You know, you're really too stubborn sometimes."

Willow knew it was vain to try to reason with her for now.

* * * * *

In Xander's car:

Since they left the Summers', Giles hadn't said a word, but his face was full of pain.

"Don't feel guilty, Giles."

"I can't help myself."

"It's not your fault. The girls are right, there's nothing you could do have prevented this."

"I failed her."

"No, you didn't. If you think that, then all of us failed her."

"You didn't understand, Xander. She... she came that day for ask me to help her; and, and I refused. I preferred..."

"Giles, what happened that day, happened." *Yeah, I'm very deep on this case!*

"What I mean Giles, is-" He stopped when he heard *No, not that.*

"Giles? Giles? Oh, no! Plea...se Giles, don't cry. I already can't take it when girls cry, so, if you cry, I..." He couldn't finish his sentence, because, "Great Job Giles, now I'm crying too."

"Sorry, Xander."

"I'm sure, G-man."

"Xander, don't call me like that!"

"Hey, it's a good sign if you react to that. Here you go. Do you want-"

"No, it's all right, thanks, Xander."

Giles tried to put his thoughts in order; and, "I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but-"

"I'll take care of her. Don't worry, Giles; I'll call to tell you what happens."

"Thanks."

Giles left the car for his flat.

* * * * *

Knock, Knock

"Wait a minute, please," Joyce requested.

She opened the door and asked, "Yes?" She didn't know why, but she felt very uncomfortable with this stranger who examined her!!!

"Hello, can I help you?"

"You're Buffy's mother?"

"Yes, I am. And You, You-"

"How was she able to do this to him?" exclaimed an angry voice.

"Excuse me! But who are you? And what are you talking about?"

"I'm a Rupert's friend, Olivia. But I want to warn you; I don't know what her game is, but I won't let her make Rupert believe she's blind just to have his attention back. It's intolerable!"

"Are you saying that my daughter... How are you able to? Come here, and say that!!!" exploded Joyce.

"Me! It's her! And her incredible story about her sudden blindness!"

"You think Buffy's pretending, that she's lying!?!"

"Yes. It's so pathetic, and naturally, she's lying. Who could believe-" She couldn't finish her sentence. Joyce slapped her, and said, "Normally I'm not like this; but, for you, I'll make an exception." And with a cold voice she added, "Listen to me, my daughter doesn't play any games. Now go away."

At that moment, Buffy appeared.

She looked in the direction of the door and asked to her mother, "Mom, who is it?"

Olivia didn't understand, *She looked at me, so...*

"Honey, it's a mistake."

"But that perfume," Buffy said, "Olivia!"

"It's true, you're really..."

"Yes, I am. Happy?"

"Can we talk?" asked Olivia.

"Why? To savor-"

"It's important. Please."

It was like a request, and coming from Olivia, it was a first.

"If you want," Buffy replied, shrugging her shoulders.

Joyce looked at her daughter, "Buffy?"

"It's all right, Mom."

They went to the living room.

"Mom, I'm sure some tea would be great."

"Sure, Buffy." Before leaving the room, Joyce glanced at Olivia with a look saying 'If you hurt her...' It was a message that Olivia understood completely.

"I'm sorry," began Olivia.

"You? Sorry?" Smirked Buffy.

"Yes, I am. I didn't know, I thought it was a thing from a child and-"

"I'm not a CHILD!!! And it's not a 'thing!'"

"Yes, your mom made me understand it." Olivia said, touching her cheek.

"Buffy, I know you don't think a lot about me, but my affection for Rupert is real."

"I don't doubt it!" whispered Buffy.

Without listening her, Olivia pursued, "I love him, and I'm really worried about him."

"Olivia-"

"I've known him for years; from back when he was, well, a sort of an another person-"

"Ripper." It was more a statement that a question from Buffy.

"He told you! Anyway, we were younger than now," Olivia grinned, "but it's not only that. When I met him first, he... it's hard to say or to believe, but he, and the others, used magic."

"And?"

Olivia was stunned by her reaction; she didn't expect that.

Then, she realized, "You know, do you?"

"Yes, I do."

"What do you know exactly?"

Buffy felt a sort of satisfaction; it seemed she was beating Olivia at her own little game.

"What do you want to know, Olivia? You know already that I know about Ripper, and his friends, I know even Ethan... I know the significance of his tattoo and why Ripper has disappeared."

"Randall," said Olivia softly, "His death was terrible. For all of us."

"You... and the others?" asked shyly Buffy.

"No, it's a little more complicated than that." Then she added, thinking, "or simpler than that. I don't know."

There was a silence.

"Buffy, if you know about, well, magic; do you know about the other... things?"

"You mean like vampires, demons, and the rest of it?!?" Buffy grinned.

Suddenly, "It wasn't a joke!" Olivia realized, "You're... you're the Slayer?"

It was more a statement than a question, "His Slayer."

"Yes, I am, Buffy the exceptional, wonderful Vampire Slayer." She was smiling.

"And Spike was a-"

"Yes, Spike is a vampire. But he fights with us."

"How? He's a vampire?"

"Yeah, but a vampire in love. Spike's in love with Willow since - Well, to summarize, he kidnapped her but she kidnapped his heart."

"But how? I mean he could bite her..."

"She is a witch. It helps, believe me. I misunderstood, or you acted like you were interested by our life?"

Olivia looked at her, really.

"He told me that never he would have a slayer."

"And Buffy appeared. Tada," she grinned.

"It's strange. I know all this was real. Well, I even participated. But a part of me is always..."

"Yes, it's weird."

"Your blindness is due to-"

"Magic. Demon."

"Sorry."

"So, you and Ripper?"

"No, like I told you, I knew him for a long time. And I always saw him as my protector."

"Protector from vampires and demons?"

"No."

"From what then?"

"From me."

"From you? I'm lost. Why?"

"Now, it's you who seem interested by me," Olivia teased her.

*Olivia's joking! Maybe it's the end of the world after all!* Buffy thought, but she felt too how Olivia seemed tense, and made a strong effort to continue.

"Like I said, I know Rupert since his Ripper's days. I knew the group, but I didn't fit in."

"But you said you had participated?"

"Yes, but I helped the person who helped him to 'come back'."

It was painful. Buffy didn't know why, but the mention of this person, which she hadn't any clue about, was obviously hard for Olivia. *He didn't tell me about that!*

"James and Rupert were friends -- very close, like brothers -- since their childhood. When Rupert disappeared for Ripper, James had never, ever lost hope of bringing Rupert back. And when Ripper called for help, James didn't hesitate a second. I'm sure Rupert would have done the same for him."

"So, you helped James."

"Yes, we helped him. It was long and painful. Magic is like a drug, a powerful drug. James never left him, even for a moment, and nor I did; but even if I did all I could do, I felt powerless."

"He never told me how...; I'm so selfish sometimes. Maybe I thought one day he woke up and said 'Bye Bye Ripper, Rupert is back'," said Buffy sadly.

Joyce, who listened, or spied a little, thought it was the good moment to bring the tea.

"Olivia, do you want something in the tea?"

"Yes, thanks. A dash of milk would be perfect."

"Buffy, are you all right?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm fine."

"She has said exactly the same thing since the beginning of... well of it. Each time the others or I ask her how she is, she always tells us 'I'm fine'," she grinned.

Olivia looked at her and understood; she wanted to relax the atmosphere, at least for a moment.

"Do they ever wonder about that?"

"Buffy's always in the room, remember."

"How can I forget, honey?"

"Ah very funny, Mom."

They drank in a relative silence.

"Olivia, have you never thought to have children?"

Olivia wore a painful expression.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's nothing. In fact, we thought about it a time ago."

She couldn't help but feel a satisfaction seeing Buffy thinking it would be... *She's really blind to think that.* It was, well, a little amusing.

*They thought, Giles and... No it can't be.*

Buffy was miserable, and, after a moment, Olivia explained, "It's not what you think Buffy. Nevertheless seeing your face was interesting."

Olivia pursued, "As I said, some time ago, my... my husband and I thought about having children. Unfortunately... Hum, the tea is made like the English way. I'm impressed."

*Husband?* thought Joyce and Buffy together.

Joyce was the first to talk, "Thanks. To tell the truth, Rupert taught Buffy how to make the tea. She shared her knowledge with me," she grinned.

"Rupert? Mom, since when do you call him that?"

"It's his first name, honey."

"You know what I mean, mom," Buffy said, a little exasperated.

"Well, I thought it was time and more friendly."

"Huh!"

"At your place, I wouldn't be surprised Buffy. After all, Rupert will be a real member of your family," added Olivia.

"Re: Huh?!?"

"Well, it's evident. Rupert is-"

"Everyone is fine here?"

"Spike. Come on we're in the living room," said Joyce.

"Olivia this is-"

"Yes, I know."

"Yeah, we met. Olive!"

Buffy was laughing.

"Olivia," Olivia corrected.

"Sorry."

Spike spied her, and looking at Olivia, who seemed a little uncomfortable with his glare; that pleased him, and he asked, "Everything's alright?"

"Yes, Spike." said Joyce, Buffy nodded.

Olivia was examining him, *A vampire!* she thought.

"Boo." screamed Spike to her, failing to get her to let go of her cup of tea.

"Always funny," smiled Spike, "So, you here because you saw the lights on or because you wanted to waste our time?"

"No, I... I wanted to check something for myself," retorted Olivia.

"Yeah."

"You're... I mean, you're really a-"

"A bloody vampire. Yes Ma'am." He said with a grin, then added, "You got a problem with that?"

"No, it's fine. I mean... no, no problem." She paused, "How, how is it to be, well-"

"To be a vampire?" he finished for her.

"Yes."

"Well, there is some advantages, like the economy on solar cream; and other things," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Spike is a good help, and a good friend. All of us trust him." Joyce said with conviction, seeing the distrust in Olivia's eyes.

"Thanks Joyce. I'm touched," he said, touching his chest.

"It's true." she replied.

"But he is a vampire. How do you know for sure he won't kill you?" asked Olivia.

"Are you crazy? Willow will kill me, if I would do that! No, kill me would be nice, and, technically, I am already dead, but she would transform me in-into a toad, I'm bloody sure. You're silly. I'm on the good side."

"Yes, but what I mean-"

"I trust Spike with my life," said Buffy, "like I trust the others. And I know all of them trust Spike too. Besides, I think that's not your concern."

"Spike, would you like a hot chocolate?" asked Joyce. She felt Buffy wanted to pursue her previous conversation with Olivia. The interruption had been welcome but now...

"Sure," he replied.

With that, Joyce and Spike left Buffy and Olivia and headed for the kitchen.

Buffy was the first to speak, "You were married, Olivia? I didn't suspect it."

"Yes, I was. And before you ask, we were very happy. He was my life."

*My life* these words reminded Buffy of Giles' words he had said her earlier: "That you're my life," he had said. *Focus Buffy. Yeah, focus on that. Her husband was her life; I'm Giles' life, and he's-"

"Buffy, are you alright?" Olivia asked her,

"Hum?"

"You seem lost in your thoughts."

"Me? No. Well, yeah, a little. It's... it's just what you said. That I remembered something."

"May I ask what?" asked Olivia, even she had an idea. She had seen Buffy's expression when she had mentioned 'He was my life,' it was easy to understand having seen the two separated and together.

"It's not important really." Buffy was uncomfortable.

"If you said it, who I am to contradict."

After a moment, "James." said Olivia.

"Pardon me?"

"His name was James."

"Nice name. James? You mean the James who helped Giles!"

"Incredible, you listened to me!" said Olivia with sarcasm.

Buffy asked "You told me, Giles is your 'protector' from you; is it because of him?"

Olivia waited a moment, to collect her thoughts.

"When James died, it was hard for Rupert. I mean they were so close; always here for each other, even without question." She paused a moment, then, "But me, I was destroyed. Rupert helped me, saved me, and, thanks to him, I managed to pursue my life, but James is always here with me."

"He's a part of you," replied Buffy. For some strange reason she understood her.

"Yes. Always. Like Giles is for you."

"Giles is just my Watcher; ex-Watcher, nothing more." Buffy said.

"Are you really blind?" Then Olivia apologized, "Sorry. That's not what I wanted to say."

"I hope," Buffy murmured.

"Buffy, he's more than your Watcher, or ex-Watcher, and you know that. He's yours. He's in love with you. Like you are with him."

"I can't be," Buffy said in a whisper.

"Buffy, believe me, love is too precious and rare. When you find it, don't let it go for stupid reasons. Go to him. You need each other."

"I can't," Buffy said louder.

"Why?" Olivia said and with shock added, "It's because... Do you think your condition matters to him? Do you think he won't want to be with you because of that?" she asked angrily.

Buffy didn't respond, and tears began to form.

"How can you think so little of him?"

"You don't understand, Olivia. I can't do this to him!" she screamed.

"What? Tell me?"

"Now, it's you who are blind," said Buffy coldly.

Then, Olivia realized. "Buffy, he loves you. Your state-"

"My state may be permanent, and I don't want to impose it on him, Olivia," and, in a whisper she added, "I love him too much to do that to him."

"Buffy, I realize this must be very... well, to tell the truth I don't know how you feel. But I know how he does. Buffy, have you any idea how he was when he returned from your conversation? When he returned and learnt what happened to you... Buffy, I have never see him like that, ever. He's like a tiger in a cage. I'm really, really worried about him."

"Olivia, it'll pass. He has right to have a life." said Buffy.

"When will you understand, Buffy? Without you, he has no life. Buffy, you're his life; don't you know that?"

"Olivia, why do you do that?"

"I already told you what. Because I love him and want his happiness. I can be his protector now and help him."

"So you love him. With you he might forget me."

"Buffy, I love him, but I'm not in love with him! Even if I was, and I'm not, he's in love with you. Not me. You're really stubborn!"

Buffy thought a moment, and, "Olivia, I'm friends with Xander and Spike, and I don't sleep with either of them!"

*She doesn't make things easy! Why am I not really surprised?* thought Olivia.

"Buffy," Olivia said after a moment, "Rupert and I are friends, only friends. When I came in Sunnydale, both of us were alone and needed comfort. That's all. Nothing else, believe me." Olivia supplied practically.

"Alone?" Buffy didn't believe her ears. "Alone!" she repeated, angrily, "What do you mean by alone?" She was really angry, "I was here. Last summer we spent together; I was with him! Not with the others, with him! And you said he was alone! How can you say that?!?"

"With him, Buffy. But not the way he wanted to be with you, or the way he wanted you 'see' him."

"I always see him!"

"You were and you are afraid. It's the reason you use your state; you hide behind it."

"What! Who are you to tell me that? You have no right!" Buffy screamed.

"For Rupert, I have the right!" Olivia replied.

The exchange between them was fast, Buffy tried to recompose herself, *I'm not afraid. She's wrong!*

"You're wrong." Buffy said calmly.

"Really?"

"Yes. If I act like that, it's because I don't want to hurt him. I hurt him too much in the past. It's better for him if... if-"

"You're wrong. Buffy, I don't know how much you hurt him in the past; but I know at this moment, he hurts. You're hurting him. While I'm talking to you, he's more hurt than you may imagine. You're the one who is able to take away his sadness and pain. It's with you he will be happy."

"I need to think. Olivia, I really thought that it would be better for him if... if I would disappear from his life."

"Buffy, you couldn't ever, never disappear from his life because-"

"I'm his life, just like he's mine," Buffy cut back at her.

"Yes. And believe me, even death can't change that. I know it," Olivia finished in a whisper.

Buffy heard her. For the first time she heard someone who tried to talk about Giles. She had to make a decision. *No, not make a decision, because it's already been made, since, well, always,* she thought. Now, she had to act, to take the 'first' step.

"I'm the Slayer, Olivia; I fight, beat demons, vampires and other stuff. But when it comes to Giles, Arghh. But you're right. I... I won't push him away anymore."

"Finally. Go to him, Buffy; he's waiting for you. Well, I think it's time to go."

She got up, and at that moment, Joyce entered in the room. "You're leaving?" she asked.

"Yes, I think is over for me here. Thanks for the tea."

"You're welcome. I'll see you to the door."

"Thanks. Bye, Buffy."

"Bye, Olivia." Buffy replied, "And thanks for... this."

"Take care."

* * * * *

"So, you two think she's right, yeah?"

"About what?"

"You know, Spike, you're a lot of things but a spy... No!"

"I thought that I was discrete!" he mumbled, "Hey, how do you know that, after all?"

"Well, I don't know. It's like I knew it. I felt it. Never mind, don't change the subject. Answer me."

"Why, you know the answer, right?" He took a moment, then said, "Yes."

"Mom? You agree, right."

"Yes."

"And... Me too. Great! What will I do?" she asked sadly.

"Buffy, you know the decision is yours, Honey."

After a moment she asked, "Mom, would you want to drive me to Giles', please?"

"Of course. Spike?"

"I stay at the house. Oh, and I'll tell to the others the good news."

"Spike!" said Buffy.

"What?" He asked 'innocently'.

* * * * *

IN THE CAR:

"Buffy."

"Hum?"

"There's no reason to be so nervous. Don't forget, he loves you, and you love him."

"Mom, I... how... well, I thought that you-"

"What? That I would like to scratch his face, or scream, 'Don't touch my daughter, you old pervert!'"

"Something like that. Except the part 'scratch his face'."

"I said 'face' but I could have said-"

"Oh, Mom!" Buffy shook her head.

Joyce was chuckling, and said "Buffy, I won't lie to you. At the beginning, I was completely against this. But with time, seeing each other, your love... Buffy, I want you to be happy; with Rupert you will be. I know that."

"At the beginning?" asked Buffy, incredulously.

Seeing her, Joyce was laughing -- a little loud, in Buffy's opinion.

"Mom? What? I don't see why it's so funny!"

"But it's really funny, Buffy. I'm sure you and Rupert are the only people who didn't know it. Sometimes you two can be so oblivious, when it was so obvious. Even Jerry knows!"

"What?!? Jerry? The pizza delivery man!" exclaimed Buffy. "I don't believe it," she mumbled.

"Honey," Joyce was laughing, "everyone who looks at you two sees that. You're so close and share so much. Sometimes it's like you're in your own world."

"I didn't realize it was so... so clear to everyone."

"Yes, and the list is long. Your glances at each other; your faculty to finish the sentence of the other; your jealousy-"

"I'm not-"

"Oh really?"

"Okay, maybe I am, a little, but-"

"Buffy, not only you, him too."

"Him... I mean, you said that Giles was jealous if I-"

"Yes, he is."

"Yeah," smiled Buffy.

"So, you see, you don't have any reason to be nervous. Everything will be all right, Buffy. Don't worry. And he told you that he loves you."

"Mom? Unless I made a mistake, you called him 'Rupert', right?"

"Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Nope, but... you always called him 'Mr. Giles' or 'that man' when you're angry about him. So, it's a little strange, is all."

"Maybe, but I think it's time. And, well, soon... Oh my god!"

"What?" asked Buffy, a little worried.

"I just realized, he will be my son-in-law."

"Mom! We're not at that step yet. Before, there are some... some steps!"

"Hum. Which are?"

"Mom!" Buffy exclaimed.

Joyce was laughing at Buffy's statement. Hearing her mother, she was giggling too.

"Here you are, Buffy."

Buffy didn't respond, "Buffy?" her mother asked again.

"Yes."

"Buffy, if you want to talk to him, you must get out of this car and walk to his door."

"I can't!" said a panicked Buffy.

"Yes, you can, Buffy."

"No... I... I mean, I can't. It's... No. Please, take me home Mom. I was wrong-"

"Buffy. You're my daughter, and I love you; you know that, don't you?"

Buffy nodded, and Joyce continued, "and you're the slayer. You're a strong, nice, lovely, smart woman."

Buffy was a little afraid, when her mother acted like that it wasn't a good thing. "Mom, what's your point?"

"Well, I just want to tell you... Go talk to him, Buffy. And that's an order!"

"All right Mom... You don't need to push me out of the car. And I always wear my seatbelt!"

When Buffy managed to unfasten it, Joyce went with her to the front of Giles' door.

"Buffy. Everything will be fine." With that, Joyce kissed her and after added, "It's time. See you later."

"Right. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome." And Joyce let her here. Alone.

*Okay, let's go,* Buffy thought, and after a deeply breath... Knock.

KNOCK KNOCK:

Buffy was in front of his door, waiting for his response. When he didn't respond as fast as she wished, her mind continued to think. *Oh, stop Buffy!* she yelled at herself, *I can do it... after all it's Giles... right, and it's because it's Giles that it is so... Stop thinking. Good, now I have a debate with myself; to think or not to think, that is the question? Okay, better than think, act! Right, I'm going... Maybe I should knock? Wait, I already knocked, and he hasn't responded yet.

Noting the lack of response, she opened the door and came into the flat tentatively.

"Giles. Giles," she called, without success; then she closed the door.

She walked further into the room. "Oh!" she said with surprise. She managed to walk further, but again, "Ouch!"

"What is that?!?"

She tried another place and, "Ah, again... it's everywhere."

On the entire floor there were books, opened, here... and Buffy was walking on it.

"Giles," she screamed, "Come here, now!"

"B... Buffy?" he came in the room, "What... You're here?"

"Yes, and No. To tell the truth, I try, but there are some... difficulties," she said with a tentative smile.

Giles was shocked by her presence; after their discussion, he was sure she would never come here, and that she wouldn't see him anymore.

*She's really here, it's not a dream?!?* he thought.

"Hum, Giles could you... please?" she said, indicating the floor.

"Ah yes. Naturally. Sorry."

"You know, Giles, it's really dangerous to leave books around like that.

Unless you now want a broken slayer," she teased him; but Giles didn't think it was at all funny.

"Never." he said with force and pain.

Buffy felt it, and immediately tried to repair her mistake; "Giles. I... I didn't mean it that way. I was just kidding." She wasn't sure, but for a moment, she believed that she heard a sob -- more precisely a 'hidden sob' from Giles.

After a moment of trying to recompose himself, Giles couldn't say another thing except "Buffy."

"So, what are you doing? I mean with all these books... everywhere."

She was nervous, more nervous because now she was afraid for him. Olivia had told her about his attitude after his return, *What expression has she used? Oh yes, 'He's like a tiger in a cage.' She was right!* Buffy thought.

"I'm doing some research."

"Some?" she asked, pointing at the floor.

"Yes. I... searched for information about the demon and how to defeat it." He prepared himself for her objection; "I know you told me-"

"I was wrong," she cut him off, and in a whisper, she added, "About a lot of things."

"So Giles, have you found something?"

"Unfortunately, not yet. But I'm sure I remember having read something somewhere about this demon; if only I could... The demon's destiny, maybe? Where is it?"

Buffy heard him run, "Giles? Great, now I have to find the sofa in this 'book-jungle'."

Carefully, she tried to make her way to the sofa, between the books. "I hope this is the sofa. And not a 'book-sofa'!" she said to herself.

"No! No! No! It's not here!" Giles lost patience; he was completely obsessed by his research.

And obsessed was a 'little' word for it. When Xander had left him, he was completely under the shock of the news. The realization of what he had learnt hit him with such force, that when he came in his flat, Olivia missed him. When she asked him what was the problem, he told her about Buffy's condition while he began his research, taking one book after another. He was so 'absorbed' by that, and to tell the truth, needed to focus on something if he didn't want to lose his mind, that he didn't really pay attention that he had mumbled a "Bye" to Olivia when she had said him "Goodbye" and left the apartment.

Buffy, who heard him, tried again; "Giles," she said a little louder, "Giles! Could you, please, come here?"

"Buffy!" He approached her.

"Giles, I think you need some rest. Sometimes, taking a moment, I mean, stopping what you're doing and thinking about another thing, helps to find the solution of the first problem," she smiled.

"Buffy!?!" He blinked his eyes; then, "Are you trying to say me, in a strange way, that I need to occupy my mind elsewhere, and the solution will hit me when I'm not thinking about it?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed.

"But I... we have no time! I must-"

"Giles," she cut him with her hand, "we have time. Or we will take it. But for now, we need to talk about some... stuff." She was blushing. "And you know what is the better way to talk?"

"No." Giles answered, a little lost by her attitude.

"With tea!" she said triumphantly.

"Tea? I would have preferred a scotch," he murmured, but she heard his comment.

"What!?!" she said, outraged.

"Buffy, if you don't mind, I have some research to do. I... You're here?"

Buffy was worried, his voice had changed suddenly at the end of his sentence, and it was like, for the first time since her arrival, he realized she was here.

Giles took her face in his hands, and, for a moment, accepted the in his heart and in his head the peace of her presence. He needed to touch her, to accept the fact she was really here. That calmed him. "You're here," he said softly, savoring this precious moment of that realization. His voice was full of emotions, like joy and especially full of love. And Buffy heard it. *Love. It's pure Love in his voice. Mom was right, I had no reason to be worried,* she thought.

"Yes, Giles. I'm here," Buffy answered, coverting his hands with her own. "I'm here," she repeated, then took him into her arms. He began to shake.

"Oh Buffy. How... I failed you; I abandoned you. You came to me here, and... could you ever forgive me?"

"Shh Giles," Buffy said, caressing his back, "There is nothing to forgive. But you, you need to forgive yourself; although there is nothing to forgive yourself for, because if I understood correctly, for once," she grinned, and Giles chuckled more lightly, "nobody knew what was going to happen."

"I would have been with you, and-"

"And what, Giles?" she asked defiantly. "If you've not forgotten, I'm the slayer. It was, is my duty to fight the demons. I already fight without you," she felt him tense. "Giles, it wasn't your fault. It was just unlucky."

"But-"

"No buts, Giles. And stop that, what is done is done. Now, w..." she was not sure if she could say 'we', "I mean, I-"

"We, Buffy, together. You can say it. We will face it together. We will find a way."

"Yes, we." She smiled. Giles looked at her, and seeing her smile warmed him.

They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other.

"Hum... Giles," Buffy finally said.

"What?"

"You know, I haven't really eaten anything since breakfast, and I wondered if-"

"Of course. After all, I think you asked for tea."

"Yep. With some, you know, those strange cakes."

"There are not strange, Buffy. They're 'scones'."

"Whatever you say. As long as I can eat some of them," she teased him.

"As much as you want, my dear," he replied.

Buffy felt him looking at her, felt the intensity; it was like he saw and touched her soul, and like she could feel his. And... he kissed her.

It was a pure moment of joy, peace, and now they were at home; they had finally found each other, and they knew it.

"Wow..." Buffy was getting her breath back, and Giles responded, "Indeed."

Buffy laughed. "You know it's really funny," she said.

"What? Buffy! May I know what is so funny? I hope is not the kiss," he tried to be light but was insecure.

"What!?! Oh no, Giles! The kiss was Wow, big Wow."

"So what is it?"

"You. And the fact that twice in the same day I succeeded in making you wordless. It's a record," she giggled.

Giles couldn't help but chuckled at her remark.

"Yes, love. Incredible."

"Love? You... you called me Love?"

"Yes, I did. Buffy, you're my love. Always."

Tears were in her eyes, and she held him in her arms.

"Buffy!?!"

"Not 'Buffy'. Love," she corrected him.

"Right Love. But please, you always have your strength, but I need to breath."

"Oops. Sorry! Are you alright? I hope I didn't 'break' anything."

"Don't worry."

"You're sure? Maybe I should make an inspection. you know, just in case... I prefer to be prudent," she said suggestively.

"Ah... yes. You're right. I'm sure I will like your inspection. But for now, you need to eat something."

He kissed her again before he went to the kitchen.

At that moment the phone rang, and the answering machine picked it up.

It was Olivia.

"Hi, Rupert. It's Olivia, about tonight..."

Giles was in the kitchen when he heard the message started, and wasn't able to pick up the phone before the answering machine. He slapped his forehead with his right hand, and Buffy heard him mumbled an annoyed "Oh no!"

"Giles, what is it?" she asked with concern.

"I totally forgot-"

"...our dinner." Olivia continued.

"Yes," he said at the answering machine.

He was going to pick up the phone, and wondered how he could manage...'the situation' when...

"If all is working well, I presume it's canceled-"

"What?" he said with surprise and... shock.

"Don't worry about me, I reserved a room in the Hotel... and as for my clothes, I will take them later."

"What?!?" he said a little louder than before, even though Olivia wouldn't be able to hear him.

"I wish you a great evening. I love you. Bye."

"How?" Giles was lost, and the next comment from Buffy, lost him a little more.

"Olivia is a good friend, Giles."

At her sentence, he blinked and asked "What?!?"

Buffy giggled, hearing his total incredulity and sense of being lost.

"Buf... Love, do you understand that I haven't any clue of what happened?"

With all the serious she could, she answered too simply by a "Yes."

For Giles it was just incredible.

"Why I have the strange impression that you, you know exactly what's happening?"

"Maybe... because do I know," she grinned.

"So... Could you tell me?

"Tell you what, Rupinou?" she inquired innocently.

"What's the... Wait, did I dream or did you call me 'Rupinou'?"

"Yes. But I think you don't agree."

"It's the least you can say."

"Okay. And you're right. Gilesinou is better," she grinned.

"Buffy," Giles said with a 'dangerous' tone.

"All right," she capitulated, with exaggeration.

"So..."

"What?"

"You're trying to not answer me."

She didn't know how to begin, *After all, the best way is maybe...* "It hasn't been easy for you, the loss of... James."

When Giles kept silent, she thought, *Maybe that was not the best way, after all.* And, panicked, she said, "Giles, I didn't want to-"

"I think the tea is ready. I'll come right back."

"Giles."

"You need to eat, Buffy."

With that, he went to the kitchen to take the plate.

*Good job, Buffy.* she thought.

Giles took advantage of the 'break' to collect his thoughts and feelings... and to prepare himself for the discussion. He always knew that some day he should talk about it with her. *The time has come,* he thought, and after some deep breaths, he returned to the living room.

She heard him, and began, "I'm sorry, I... Giles, the last thing I want to do is-"

"And you aren't," he cut her off. With that, he gave her a cup of tea.

Giles was the first to break the silence.

"So Olivia and you have talked."

"Yes, she came to the house, some time after our 'discussion'."

"I see."

She waited, knowing him like he knew her. She knew he needed time to begin and talk about it.

After a moment, which seemed an eternity, Giles, who was sitting beside her on the couch, asked, "So, what did she tell you about... him?" finishing his question in a whisper.

"In fact, not a lot," Buffy answered uncomfortably. It was not really a lie, but not really the truth either.

"Maybe you should let me judge of that," Giles said.

"Yeah. Well, she told me that you and-" she hesitated a moment; she didn't know if she could say his name, hearing his reaction when he said it.

Seeing her hesitation, Giles, who wanted to reassure her, told her "It's alright, you can use his name."

She sighed, "So, she told me that you and... James were very close since your childhood. That you always helped each other, if one of you was in need... like the end of your Ripper days." She was not sure if she was right, but she felt him waiting, suspecting there was another thing.

"And that he was her husband." she grinned.

"I... understand" Giles said, not wanted to repeat his mistake. He was attentive, tried to be very careful at the expression he could use; 'I see.' was in that case, not really appropriate, and even if Buffy seemed to 'be in agreement' with her 'temporary' condition, Giles wasn't really convinced about that (and what Willow had told earlier served to confirm that for him). He knew she probably would have joked about it, saying something like 'Yes, you do but not me.' He knew her so well, like she knew him, even when she was trying to hide how she really felt.

Neither of them knew how or when, but it was a fact. He had read a lot about the slayer/watcher interaction. It was in his readings that he had always kept hope. Hope that one day...

"Giles? Giiiiles? Buffy to Giles."

She touched his arm.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Nothing. But you seemed... lost in your thoughts."

"Actually, I was."

"About James?" she asked tentatively.

"No. In fact, it was about you."

"Oh!" Buffy said, blushing.

"Olivia gave you a good 'sum'."

"Humm." It was in her turn to start 'dreaming'; with what Giles has just told her, she was pensive.

Noting her reaction, Giles chuckled.

"Giles!" she smirked, tapping on his arm, but Giles had another idea. Taking her hand in his, he drew her to him, and kissed her passionately. She moaned, feeling him, then. She liked this new comfort they had with each other, together, and it seemed so natural.

When they broke the kiss, and after having regained their minds and breath, Buffy managed to said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"The kiss?" Giles teased.

"Giles," she said softly, caressing his cheek.

"Yes, I would like to talk to you about James. I would like to share 'our' past with you, if you want."

"I do. Only if you're ready to do that, though. I mean... I don't want to push you, you know."

"I want to, and I'm ready. I think it's the good moment," then, he added, "I love you."

"I love you too, so much."

"Buffy, my sweet love."

They kissed again. It was a pur moment of bless, for each other.

After a moment, and deep breath, Giles began his story.

* * * * *

"James and I knew each other since-" he laughed, "always. In fact, we were born practically the same day, the same year. Our families know each other, and have been neighbors for centuries."

Buffy heard him and was stunned. Not only was she realizing she didn't know about Giles' life, save one or two things, but with just two sentences she had learned more about him than she had the previous three years. And Giles had a family...

"Buffy. Love? Are you all right?"

"Hum. Oh, sorry. I... it's just that I realize, you never talked me about you, and your family."

"And?"

"And I like that, this new 'Us'." she grinned.

"Me too love, me too."

She was completely in his arms, feeling secure and loved; like Giles.

"So, your families are close."

"Yes, very close and... complementary."

"Complementary? James was a watcher?"

"No. James was a sorcerer. His family is a sorcerer's family; and before you say anything, I'm talk about white magic."

"A sorcerer's family? White magic? Like the sisters Halliwell in Charmed?"

"Who? What?"

"A TV show. Nevermind. Keep it talking."

"Yes. I think so-"

"But you're a sorcerer, too. A powerful sorcerer. A God, like I already told you." she said with a warm smile which caused Giles to blush.

"Well... Thanks."

"You're the best."

"Buffy, although I love your enthusiasm and all these compliments, I must tell you, and hope they doesn't decrease your opinion of me;" he teased her, Before he could pursue, she cut him off, "Nothing could."

"Oh, I'm not so sure, love, you know there are-" he was serious.

"Rupert," it was the first time she used his first name; she used it to strengthen what she wanted to tell, make him understand what she felt. And although words weren't really her strength, she thought that could help, "nothing could change my feelings or what I think about you."

"Thanks."

"No. I mean it. So you said..."

"Yes," he chuckled, "in fact, James was really more powerful than me, than I ever will be, like the rest of his family."

"Giles?"

"Yes, what, Buffy?"

"What do you mean by your families are complementary?"

"Well, I never really told you but there are watchers' families, to be a watcher is in our blood."

"Like it is for me to be a slayer?"

"Yes. If I said that our families were complementary, is because the sorcerer family is here to help, guide the family of watchers. And James... was my guide." Giles said with affection.

"Like you and me?"

"Sort of."

"Giles, I don't think I understand. Guide of what and why?"

"Guide for Magic."

"I think I'm a little lost here. If there are watchers' families and magic families-"

"Buffy, it's not because you are born to something that you couldn't be something else too. It's the same in my case; it's not because I'm a watcher that I can't be a sorcerer. In reality, all watchers are somewhat predispositioned, more or less, to magic. All of us have a magic side."

"And for the members of the magic family, some of them can be watchers?" Buffy asked.

"All is possible. But I think if it's possible, it must be rare."

"Why have I never heard about that?"

"There wasn't any reason, love. You know, like I told you, it's more like a guide for the watcher, and with that the watcher is more useful and helpful for his slayer. But sometimes, the watcher refuses to explore or accept his magic side. Don't ask me why; it's personal, fear, lack of readiness... Do you remember Wesley when he arrived at Sunnydale?"

"How could I forget! He was I'm-such-a-theorical-watcher-that-I-haven't-any-clue-what-a-vampire-is-except-in-my- books!"

"Yes, you could say that," he giggled at that memory, "But now, he's changed. He accepts and uses his side magic."

"Without a guide?"

"Well, apparently he has a guide who is... Angel."

Giles didn't know how she would react to this news; he thought she would like to know more about that, and his own story would be forgotten. As usual, for some reason, he thought he would pass in second, after Angel.

"What! How? Angel?!? Oh well, that's their problem. So James was your guide for your magic side."

He was always lost in his thoughts, when suddenly he realized, with surprise, what she had just said.

"Buffy? I thought you would like-"

"What Giles? To talk about Angel? No, Angel is the past; you, you are the present, my present and my future. It's them, not Us."

"Like you are mine, love; like you are mine."

"So, James?" Hearing her curiosity, Giles giggled.

"James was my guide for magic; he taught me about magic, but he was more than that. We were like brothers, very, very close. We grew up together, side by side. We shared everything, and spent all our time with each other. School, after-school, holidays... And without either of us realizing it, he guided me. It was just... natural and so simple."

It was amazing; Giles hadn't ever spoken like that to her or the others. He opened himself completely. Buffy could hear affection, love, and respect in his voice, but also... pain and sadness.

*It had been horrible for Giles to lose him,* she thought. Suddenly, she remembered when she had heard such emotions before -- in Olivia's voice, when she talked about James. *And for her too...* Buffy wished that she could have known him, hearing these two people talked about him like that. *He was certainly an exceptional and lovely man.*

Wanting to learn more about James and Giles' past, Buffy asked, "And about him, who taught him magic?"

Giles sighed, happily; Buffy was really interested and curious. He had wanted so much and for a very long time to share that with her but he didn't know if he could answer to all of her questions; the truth was, even he didn't know all the answers.

"I think his family of course, and he taught himself."

"Humm?"

"It's inborn, Buffy. The family helps, in the young years. But magic is something they have and are."

"I understand. I think," and in a whisper, "Thanks to the Halliwell sisters."

"Who?" Giles asked again.

"In fact, the family taught the spells, but they have powers and learnt how use it more by themselves, but with help from family if they need," said Buffy.

"Well, yes. You can... Yes."

"I understood! Yay for Buffy!"

Giles sighed lightly; in fact, these interactions between the watcher and sorcerer family existed since the beginning and were complex and very deep.

After some moments of silence and relaxation, Buffy broke it by "Giles?"

"Yes, love."

She didn't know how to ask him, but some, or rather especially one point was confused.

"But there are some points I don't understand. I mean if James was here to guide you, with your magic, how is possible-"

"Ripper," he cut her off.

"Yes. I mean if James was your guide and powerful, he should have kicked your ass and said 'Go home immediately! Game over.'"

"Oh, Buffy," Giles giggled, "I can imagine the scene. Not good for me."

Then, added, more seriously, "Buffy, choice exists for all of us and we can choose. He couldn't force me."

"So he... failed." she said, uncomfortably. With all that she heard about James, it was very hard to say that.

"No, he didn't." *She really wants to know everything...* he thought. "I was at Oxford when I met Ethan and the others."

*Oxford, yeah, he's such a smart guy and cute at that.*

Giles saw Buffy grin. "I didn't know the name of Oxford could produce a such happy face," he teased her.

"Hum funny, Giles. It's just that you're not only very cute but smart, too."

"And you haven't realized that before?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes, naturally it's just... so you were at Oxford with James?"

"You said I was cute," he said with a smile.

"Yep. Cute, handsome... smart. That's my man."

"Oh, dear heart. Yes, I'm all yours."

"Like I'm yours, Giles... Rupert? What do you prefer?"

"Whichever you want. The essential thing is that we are together, love."

"Love you too. Rupert or Giles; in fact, I like both." she said smiling.

"No, to answer to your question, James wasn't with me at Oxford."

"Why?"

"When I told you they learn by themselves what I meant, in fact, was that when they grow up, and become too powerful, they go to The Coven. A place for sorcerers and witches in England, to practice, improve their powers, magic, aptitude... meditation."

"So he left you. It's absurd, you and he were always together, and suddenly you were separated. How-"

"It's a sort of a test, Buffy. A test for the sorcerer and for the future watcher to see their reaction, their aptitude. And for the sorcerer, it's a normal thing, even an obligation, to go to there. There they learn how to really accept who they are, their powers. and they are prepared to face the darkness. Their chances are increase, and the risk to go to the darkness, to be seduced by that side is decreased."

"But why not go with him?" Buffy asked.

"Because that place is only for sorcerers and witches and such people. You can't go if your powers aren't a specific level. A level I didn't have at that time."

"Oh!"

"If I understood, it's a sort of school."

"Yes," then Giles added, " a school but a retreat, too."

"A retreat?"

"When some people need help for some... reason-"

"Like his death?" Buffy cut him softly.

Giles breathed deeply, then said, "Yes. They helped me to accept that... fact. I was so angry and felt so helpless that Ripper would have reappeared if I hadn't went there. Olivia told you he... both of them, helped me after Eyghon, with the 'end' of my Ripper days. Without any question, know that me he was there to help me."

"He loved you the way you love him."

"But I wasn't here when-" Giles couldn't continue, and some tears began to form.

Buffy noticing that, brushed his cheeks and said, "Shh, Gi-Rupert. Shh. I'm here. You're not alone," enveloping him in her arms. Now, Giles had his head on her chest and she stroked his hair. Their places were now reversed.

"Ten years ago. It was ten years ago... last week."

"It's why-"

"Olivia is here. Yes."

"How-"

"I wasn't with him; for him. I wasn't-" Giles was crying now.

"Sorry, love." He said some moments later, when he could manage to do it.

"No, don't." then Buffy added, "You know sometimes it is good to cry."

"Yes, maybe sometimes but-"

"No buts. Crying may be a help," she said, and then, "Oh, now I'm talking like Willow!" she whispered, but Giles heard her. He looked at her, touching delicately, caressing, tracing a line with his fingers, from her one of her eyes, then across her cheek to finish at her lips. This move made Buffy shiver.

The way he touched her, his fingers were so soft; he was so tender in his moves.

"Buffy. How... how are you?"

Buffy was surprised by his question. She knew that she couldn't hide anything from him. In their last discussion, at her home, she ran far away him, not wanting him to discover her real 'state'.

"Fine."

"The truth, Buffy."

"Giles, I don't think it's the good time for that. After that talk, you need-"

"Buffy. I wouldn't let you put me aside so easily. This time."

"Giles..."

"What did Willow want to say by 'Now, you admitted it'."

Buffy shrugged her shoulders, and said, "Don't know."

She wanted to escape, but knew it was impossible.

"Buffy," he said with love and... worry, Buffy realized. "I'm sure you know perfectly what Willow wanted to say. Tell me."

"Giles-"

"No 'Giles' Buffy." he said, putting his fingers on her lips to silence her. Buffy thought that maybe 'some distraction' would be helpful., "No! Buffy stop that..." he said when she started licking his fingers. Giles was resolute, "Buffy. Don't try. You didn't manage to change my mind. I want to know." he was firm.

"You're sure?" she said seductively.

"Yes," and in a whisper, he added, "for now."

Hearing that, Buffy couldn't keep herself from smiling.

"Giles, it's not a big stuff. I'm fine. Really. I mean, it could have been worse."

He looked at her, his hand on her cheek; he said "Buffy," then he kissed her forehead. Buffy closed her eyes. It was magic. And forehead to forehead, Giles told her softly "I don't believe you."

Buffy sighed. "You're too stubborn!"

"Oh, I have a good teacher."

"Rupert!"

"So, now you know that you have lost this game, tell me. Please." It was like a plea.

"Fine."

"Buf-"

"I'm afraid."

Giles let her collect her thoughts and... words; they weren't really a thing that Buffy used to express herself. She was more about the action and he, the words. But now... things were becoming different.

"Well, I was, am realistic about my, you know, 'state'... but I didn't really admit it, accept it. Strange, no?"

"Until our discussion. I pushed you-"

"You did what you needed, Rupert. You were right to do that. But I want you to know that... I didn't want to... hurt you. I... I know you think I acted with selfishness-"

"No Buffy it's not-"

"Please, let me finish. It's already not easy and very new for me," she said with a smile.

"Yes, and you do fine, love."

"So, where was I? Humm, I know in the past I could have been a little of a, well, an 'egotistic bitch'."

"A little, Love?" he was teasing her.

"Rupert! "she said outrageously, and laughed, "You're such a teaser."

"As if you don't enjoy it."

"Oh, I like it very, very much," she finished by kissing him.

"So, you were saying?" asked Giles. The role was reversed now.

"Now, it's you who is curious, watcher-mine."

Chuckling, he said, "Oh, you have no idea."

"Giles, I really thought it was better for you if you didn't know. Then you'd have a chance to be happy."

"Buffy, how? It's not a little thing. And I can't be happy without you. It's with you I can be. You're my life. "

"Yes, now I know that. But you... you have the right to have a private life... well, before, cause' now you're stuck with me, and I'm very possessive."

"Indeed; of me," he said with a grin.

"You told me to grow up! Not to bother you!"

"Buf-"

"If you think of the things in that context; I couldn't tell you after that. I just couldn't, not after what you told me." Buffy began to cry. "I felt so alone. I tried, very hard. I tried to not show to the others how I was... am afraid. I can't even make coffee. I'm the slayer! How can I beat this demon if I can't even made a coffee? You know, Willow and her optimism. I tried to do the special training-"

"Special training?"

"Yes, I asked her to create a training program to help me. Spike and Xander helped too. In the cave. But it's so difficult. And it's one thing to 'fight' with them but to fight for real; I know I can't. It's impossible. I will never be able to recover-"

"No, it's not right. You will."

"And if I won't. Will you be always with me?" she asked uncertainly.

"I will always with you. Even if you don't recover your sight. I already told you, it will change nothing for me."

"But I don't want you to feel obligated. I-"

"Buffy, I love you. We're together because we love each other. The most important thing for me is to be with you every day."

"Yes, for me too."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Love. Could you forgive me?"

She knew that he felt responsible for what happened.

"Could you forgive yourself, Giles?"

"With your help." he answered, and "We will face it together."

"I made a hole in the wall." she pouted, "A big hole."

"What?"

"During one session of the Willow's training. I don't know how, but my strength, in fact, the rest of my senses developed very fast."

"Humm. It's normal Buffy. You don't have to worry about is. Being a slayer, your others sense developed and adapted quicker than for other people in the same situation. Your senses were already heightened, and now they are-"

"Mega super higher. Cool." She grinned, saying "But the hole was between the heads of Spike and Xander. You would have heard Willow and Anya. And those two, complaining in their arms, like I touched them -- well, maybe they were hit by some splinters but it was not like... Anyway, the session was terminated quickly." She was laughing.

"I can imagine," Giles was laughing, but he was also happy to see Buffy's good mood. Her earlier angst and sadness seemed to go away. She was reassured by him. She felt secure and loved, like him.

All the tension of those past weeks fell away. They were together, conscious of that. Conscious of their love, and that they could face anything.

'Looking' at each other, there was another tension in the air. Both of them felt it.

Giles, who didn't want to rush in anything, said, "Maybe it's time to... eat dinner."

"I'm not hungry. More precisely, I'm not hungry for dinner," she said seductively.

"Buffy. The day has been full of emotions, and you need to know-"

She cut him off by a long, sensuous kiss. He pulled her away softly, "Please, No."

"You don't want-"

"Oh, I want more you can imagine; it's just, I don't think it's the good moment.... What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to rush you in anything or push you. I-"

"Giles, you aren't pushing me. And I don't think we're rushing. We love each other. I have no doubts. I want it... if you want it."

"Oh Dear Lord, yes, I want it. Have you an idea what you do to me, just by kissing me or just letting me feel your skin."

"Humm, interesting. I think some research should be done, 'cause if you reacted like that just by some innocent little things, I'm curious to know what will be if it's more," she said suggestively.

"And if I remember correctly, you talked earlier about some inspection." A little of Ripper's grin appeared.

"Yep."

And they kissed, forgetting everything except themselves. Nothing else was more important at that moment than them. Giles had taken Buffy in his arms and went upstairs to the bedroom. There they made love slowly, passionately. They found each other completely; they were whole now, for the first time in their life they were complete. They became one, one body, one spirit, one soul.

* * * * *

The next morning:

When Giles opened his eyes, and found himself truly happy, he blinked. The sun had risen and was filling the room. He reopened his eyes. That's when he heard the sound that made him smile -- a sound of a cranky, grumpy slayer who muttered some words. For him, it was wonderful.

"Sorry, Love. I woke you?"

"No, it's not you, but the sun..."

"What? Buffy, what did you say?" he said, looking at her.

"I said... Oh my! Giles, how is possible?"

"What?"

"I... I see myself!"

"Buffy? Wha --- What do you want to say by 'I see myself'?"

"Well... exactly - Oh my!"

"What?" Giles asked, alarmed always looking at her.

"I face looks horrible; and my hair is a real mess!"

Giles blinked. "You're perfect, love."

"Oh thanks Sweetie, you're a such love too yourself," she said, kissing him.

"Thanks." Then remembered the 'situation.' "Buffy, are you trying to tell me, that you see yourself by me?"

"Don't know; it's you the brain, after all. But I can say it's cool," she grinned.

"Giles! Stop that!"

"Sorry, what?" All his thoughts and senses were toward her.

"You're thinking a lot."

"Oh, Dear Lord! It's the whole bond."

"Huh!?!"

"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you before... before-"

"We had made the most extraordinary, wonderful love," she smiled.

"Yes," he said blushing, "you really think-"

"Oh yes, Baby."

"Buffy, this thing is serious. We're bonded, and I have been irresponsible. It was my duty to tell you the possible consequences of our union."

"So you have to tell me now."

"Buffy. It's not a light thing. How to explain?" *How I can tell her there isn't a way to reverse it. It's forever.*

"I can live with that. I love you, you love me, we belong together."

"What?!? You've read my mind?"

"Apparently."

"Ah... And, you're not angry?"

"Why I should be? There is no reason to be. So what's the big deal man-mine."

"So it's really the Bond. I read some stories in different watchers' diaries."

"Wait, it's normal that Watcher and Slayer... It's already happened!"

"Buffy, in the past, the watcher and the slayer were 'alone' together. Most of the time, they fallen in love with each other."

"Without forgetting, the part 'they were bound by destiny'."

"Yes."

"And each time, there was this bond."

"No, not each time. There was, a bond, but not like this that we have."

"I don't understand. There was or not?"

"There was a bond. When a watcher and his slayer join, there is always a bond between them. But there are different categories, levels in that bond."

"So, what does that mean?"

"To have a bond, a watcher and a slayer need to-"

"Giles, I already understood that part..." Buffy said, impatiently. *To believe he thinks I'm totally stupid!*

"I never thought that!" He said with defense.

"Yes."

Then he pursued "To have a complete bond it requires some 'components'. A w... the part you know already, and-"

"And?"

"True Love, total trust... soulmates," he said shyly. "If one of that 'components' is missing, it not a complete bond."

"And we are the first?"

"No. There are some previous examples. I read about it in a watcher's diary, and it's he that helped me to-"

"Keep hope," she cut him off.

"Yes."

"So, if watcher and slayer are soulmates and the rest; it's the total. And what's the big bond?"

"In reality, it's an empathic bond."

"And?"

"Well, we can see what the other sees, feel what the other feels, same for the sounds and... telepathy."

"Is it always working? I mean, you're always being in my... head? I mean no complaints but you know-"

"No, by my readings, we can block it. It's only where our senses and thoughts are directly sent to the other."

"And about the sound, what do you mean exactly?"

"Well, if I wish you to hear a conversation, I direct 'myself' toward you, and you could hear it too."

"Hmm, Stereo or DTS?" she giggled.

"Buffy!"

"Oh Giles! You know what DTS means! How?" then with more concentration, "Buffy, no!"

"Oh! You have a DVD player and... and a home cinema!"

"Bloody yes! happy?" he grumbled.

"And you never told me," she pouted, "Why?"

"Xander... don't misunderstand me, sweetheart; I love him, it's just if he had known about it, by now he would be not only be robbing my fridge, as usual, but he would never actually leave my home, which he doesn't do very often now either."

"Rupert, I understand. About not telling Anya, because Xander, and Willow, and Spike for the same reason, and maybe even Dawn and me."

"But for you, I would have made an exception," he said seductively.

"I don't know why, but I don't doubt that," she smiled.

"So you said we can block it."

"Yes, with practice we could control it, and so control what we send to the other."

"Wait, you said that we see what the other sees, right?"

"Yes."

"So if I see what you..."

"Yes Buffy. I see what you see."

"So-" she sobbed.

"Shh, it's alright Love. Buffy, listen to me. Now I'm your eyes; you can fight like this. And you'll recover your sight."

"Yes. Oh Rupert, yes." she stopped crying. "You're right since the beginning of this whole thing, it's the first time I have hope. And it's all because of you. Thank you. I love you."

"Because of us Love, because of us. I love you, too."

"Hey, so we're really soulmates!"

"Yes," he answered with chuckle.

"Great!"

"Indeed."

They were kissing, then Giles pulled her away, "Buffy," he said breathlessly.

"Hmm, good."

"We need to learn how to use it."

"Giles, it's easy."

"Buffy, he's not really an easy thing. We can use it especially when we want to communicate with each other but we can- "

"I understood; it's like... like lights."

"Lights?" he asked with skepticism.

"Yep," she grinned, "lights on: bond; lights off: privacy. Or like the Magic Box, you know open/closed."

Giles looked at her with an indeterminable expression, he couldn't believe what she had said.

"So I presume, you understand the concept."

"Yep." she answered with a big smile.

"Buffy, even if you think it's simple, all the same, we need to... practice."

*Unbelievable, a thing too complex, and she transforms that in a-*

"Hmm, Giles."

"Yes, Love."

"I think your lights are... on," She teased.

"Oh Dear... Buffy, we need really to learn about how use it!"

"Nope, not now. For now I need a mega big breakfast."

She managed to quit the bedroom for the kitchen, "Come on big guy, you're my eyes; See, we're going to practice after all."

Giles followed her in the stairs. Seeing 'by' him, Buffy succeeded in going to the kitchen.

"Buffy-"

"No, wait until after breakfast; we need to arrange all your books which cover your floor and everyplace else." she pointed.

"Buffy, we need to practice-"

At that moment, all the gang entered in the flat, hearing the argument, "Oh no! Don't tell me they're talking about 'that' practice!" said an alarming Xander putting a hand to his face.

All the gang was outside, with Xander blocking the entry.

"Xander, can you go in?" Willow screamed at him.

"No way, Will. I don't want to see what they're doing!" he shook his head.

"Xander!" she said in an alarmed voice, "go in that flat, now!" she ordered him. "Spike is burning!" she pointed at him.

"And?!? I'm sure what there is in that flat is more-"

"Xander!" Willow said in a dangerous voice.

With that Spike forced the way and came in the flat.

"Bugger, Xander!" Spike yelled.

"What?"

"What?!? You're asking me what?" Spike exploded.

Xander shrugged his shoulders in defeat, and sighed an "It's not my day."

"Xander, it's your own fault. Going into the cave like that!" said Willow.

"My fault?!? How I would have known that... that... Ya know!"

While all that 'tragedy' occurred, Buffy and Giles had 'looked' at the scene without saying a word.

"Hey, all" Buffy waved. Giles added "Good morning everyone. May we have the pleasure of knowing what is going on here?"

Before one of the four answered, Buffy pointed, "Dawn's not with you?"

Willow answered first, "No, she refused to come. She's still very angry about..."

"About?" repeated Giles, wanting Willow to finish.

She whispered, uncomfortably, "You."

Buffy felt the hurt in Giles; Giles and Dawn had always had a strong relationship. Giles loved Dawn -- for her he could be like an authority figure, but also a confident, a friend. Buffy was sure that Dawn loved Giles almost as much as she did, and the feeling was reciprocated by Giles.

Buffy sighed.

"Well, do you want some tea?" Giles asked. "And then, maybe you could explain to Buffy and myself why it is not Xander's day?" he tried to smile.

They nodded, and with that, Giles went to the kitchen to prepare the tea while everyone sat, well, tried to sit, between the books "Seems the watcher began the search," said Spike, pointedly looking at the books.

"I'm sure he will ask us to arrange what he has done!" added Anya.

Xander nodded, Willow wanted to say something, but before that Anya said, shrugging her shoulders, "All right."

They were all here, except Buffy, who wanted to be sure Giles was really fine.

"Hey," she grinned, "Are you all right?" she asked, taking him into her arms.

He put his chin on her head. "Yes," he answered in a little voice.

"Liar."

"Just a little. It's just-"

"She's stubborn, but don't ever, ever doubt she loves you."

"Yes." he sighed.

* * * * *

THE SUMMERS' HOUSE:

"Dawn! I can't understand you!"

"Me? It's all of you I can't understand, Mom! After... it's only his fault if... if Buffy... without saying it, things would have been worse!"

"It's unfair Dawn, unfair for Rupert, and you know it. Seriously, I don't know why you're so upset!"

"She would have died!" screamed Dawn.

"Dawn-" Before Joyce added something, there was a knock at the door.

"A minute please," said Joyce, and then looking at her daughter, "We'll finish that conversation later."

When Joyce opened the door, it was to find... Olivia.

Seeing who the visitor was, Dawn said angrily, "Great, the only thing missing was her!"

"Dawn Kate Summers!" exploded Joyce. Turning to Olivia, she said, "Sorry about that. Please come in."

"I'm going to go upstairs," said Dawn coldly.

"It's not his fault, you know." Olivia had surprised Dawn saying that.

"No, it's not only his fault." Dawn said, with intensity in her eyes.

"Dawn, that's enough," said Joyce.

"Why? She knew... she knew, knows that Giles, he's the only who could have helped and prevented what happened to Buffy. But she let him, knowing the consequences!" insisted Dawn.

"You're wrong. I didn't know," said Olivia softly.

"You're lying!"

"Dawn!"

"What? She's lying, and you let her, Mom. I don't believe you, Olivia! Mom and Spike heard you at your last visit, and they told us. You knew!" she pointed her finger at Olivia.

Olivia shook her head, "I assure you and your mother that I didn't... remember. At that moment, I remembered some parts, but not everything." she admitted softly.

For Dawn, it was surrealistic; she couldn't believe what she had heard. "Of course! It's so practical," she said sarcastically.

"Dawn! I already told you, that's enough." Joyce stopped her, then turned to Olivia. She invited her to sit, and poured some tea.

"Olivia," began Joyce, "you said you didn't remember. How?"

Dawn looked at her angrily, a thing that didn't (really) frighten Olivia. She couldn't blame her, she understood her reaction towards her and Rupert; but she needed Dawn to listen to some explanations... and for Dawn and Rupert to mend their relationship.

Olivia began her story. "After the death of James, I was destroyed, and, without Rupert's help, I-" it was painful to continue, but she had decided to tell them, with hope Dawn could understand, that she wasn't her enemy, at least not like at the beginning.

"O