__Giles' Diary, Day One__
By Monique and David Barton




Friday, 16th February.

4:03 am.

I can't sleep.

I couldn't sleep last night, and I can't sleep
tonight... I should sleep. But I can't. I'll see her
soon. Willow... My Willow. In some ways, it still seems a
little strange to be able to think of her that way...
And yet... for the larger part of me, it seems so right.
My Willow...

After all this time... I don't know quite yet what I am
going to say or do when I first see her... Keel over in
a combination of shock and delight, most likely. I
know what I want to do... watch her, in those first few
moments, just taking her in... rememorizing her, just
watching her... then, slowly moving to meet her. Who am
I kidding? Moving as slowly as my legs can carry me,
whilst running. Then to hold her, but lightly, to run
my fingers through her hair gently... to stroke her
face, lightly... and to kiss her.

Of course, I'll probably just fall over.

I wonder if she'll have changed at all... perhaps her
hair. She always did seem to change her hair with the
coming of each new year... always seeming to somehow
look more desirable with each new style. I still... I've
missed her so much, and yet.. in just a few hours,
she'll be here.

Well, until the American store opens, and I can
properly ascertain their stock availability, (I'm
pretty sure the sales clerk thought I was insane when
I asked to reserve chocolate chip cookie dough ice
cream last week.) The best thing I can do is to try
and sleep a little more... Which is what I am going to
do. Try to sleep some more....

I'm going to bed.

5:55 am

She'll be in the air by now, all being well as I'm
sure it is. Most probably still crossing the over the
states. Touching down in less than 10 hours, though,
allowing a little of course for delays at either
airport, and assuming good weather, with no severe
turbulence. Every weather forecast I have seen
indicates that today will be calm. No reason at all to
expect a change in the predicted pattern. Air travel
is very safe. The safest form of travel, they say.

I'm going to put the shipping forecast on. And make
tea.

7:28am

I called Buffy. She said that Willow had made it to
the airport on time, and had left okay. She also said
some other things, but then I had woken her up. I'll
apologize, next week... at a more reasonable time.

The forecast predicts light rain, with a very minimal
chance of it increasing... of course, minimal means that
there is a chance, rather than none, which I would of
course have preferred. And what exactly is minimal?
Logic dictates that it could be anywhere from
less than a percentile, up to around five-percent.
But five percent is a pretty large minimal. Why,
that's a one in twenty chance of the rain growing
heavier. They need to be more bloody specific about
what minimal bloody well is.

I can't sleep. For the first time, in a long time, I
can't concentrate enough to read. And as my
increasingly spidery handwriting will attest to, I
can barely write. She'll be at Heathrow in less than
ten hours... I haven't been this nervous, since... no, on
reflection, I can honestly say that I have never been
this nervous... Or as excited.

I hope she likes the cottage. She will like the
forest... I don't think there is a person in the world,
who could not like it. I'm sure she will... As soon as
it lightens, and the stores open I'm going to go to
the cottage, drop of the supplies, and light the fire,
just low. I want to make sure it is warm for when we
arrive.

I'm going to try and sleep a little more. Which of
course means in practice, that I'm going to lie in
bed, not able to sleep, thinking of Willow... not a bad
trade, frankly. But we'll keep that between us. I
wonder what she's doing right now... probably sleeping,
sensibly on the plane. That is a nice thought, though...
her asleep, at ease... relaxing.

I'm going back to bed.

9:00am

The plane should be touching down, in some eight hours
now. It's in situations like this one you realize just
how long eight hours is. It's a very, very long time.
Very. I'm sure it should have been nine in the morning
several hours ago. I'm going to take a shower, and
start getting ready. I'm setting off earlier than I
should, but I don't mind being early at the airport. I
would much rather be early than late. Three hours
should be sufficient leeway.

I'm going to see Willow.

Midnight.

My last entry for the day. As I write this the woman I
love, is asleep in our bed. I have a lot of ground to
cover, but I'm rather eager to join her. I'm going to
try and put down everything, in the order it happened,
starting with the airport. I want to be able to look
back at this journal, later... Not because I think I'll
forget anything that happened today, ever, no... but
because I want to be able to look back, with this
journal... and I know this sounds trite, but be able to
say to myself, that dreams, do come true, if even only for
a little while... and that all the dreaming, the
waiting, the hoping... is worth it.

All right, everything in the order it happened, from the
airport...

... She looks so beautiful when she's asleep. Not more
so, than when she is awake, and you know I don't mean
that... Still just as beautiful, but just a little
different... so peaceful. She talks in her sleep too,
very quietly. I don't think she knows that. It's
incredibly sweet, and her voice is very... very breathy.

... From the airport.

I arrived a several... quite a few hours early. Airport
amenities are vastly overrated in my opinion. The
minutes ticked be very slowly, and I kept waiting for
the symbol to flicker to show that they were running
late... but, thankfully they were on time and the world
held off. After what felt like several centuries, they
announced that her plane was about to land. I made my
way to the terminal and as close to the runway as they
will allow these days. My legs, I freely admit were
trembling, but I still managed to outpace a foghorn
loud woman, much to her obvious and repeated distress.
The plane landed safely, and with agonizing slowness
they started to allow people to disembark. I have to
make a correction from earlier, as THIS is the most
nervous I have ever been. People filed of the plane
with indecent haste, and I have to confess, that I got
a little tenser. I was worried that she had changed
her mind at the last moment or...

... And then I saw her.

Dear God. I'm no artist, certainly not a poet, and not
much of a writer, outside of dull reports and these
journals. So forgive me in advance, for I know I don't
have the talent, or the words to describe her... how I
felt seeing her again, after all this time... but I'm
going to try.

She was so beautiful. There is no other word for it, no
other way to describe her. Purely and simply
beautiful. And so radiant... she had just been cooped up
on a plane, for twelve odd hours, but still, she
shone. I don't even know how that is possible, but
nonetheless, it is true. The sun was on its wane by
then, but where it caught her hair it shone like
bronze and her skin glowed. I saw her, a split second
before she saw me, and the way she smiled when she saw
me, the way our eyes locked... There aren't words to
describe it, there aren't.

The next few moment, are a little blurry... I don't
remember moving, but I floated along the waiting rope,
as she walked towards me... somehow able to keep focused
on those smoky emerald eyes, while taking in every
sway, and every motion, bringing her closer to me.

I'm afraid it took me quite a while to speak. When
finally she drew close to me, I just reached out and
brushed her cheek with my hand. It was... until I heard
her voice, and touched her face, I couldn't move...
couldn't breathe. I was almost afraid that I would
wake up.

And then I kissed her... and slowly, maybe a little
surprised, I... I was rather forward...but she kissed me
back. It was... incredible. I've visualized our first
kiss... many, many times but they couldn't even compare
with the actual happening... her lips were soft and
moist, her feel, her touch... just the feel of her lips
against mine... the kiss fed, on its own passion. It
was... perfect.

Of course, afterwards. I thought I would be imbecilic,
and just say hello. I mean, honestly hello... no words
preceding, no words for a long time after... I just,
couldn't speak. I'm lucky I got a hello, actually...

Oh, but that moment... we stood together, for a long
time, and when we did finally move away, it was
together and she tucked herself under my arm, just so.
Heaven. Six months and more alone... all gone. Just like
that. Love's a funny thing.

We drove to the cottage. Willow had the most perfectly
adorable reaction to the traffic, much like... oh yes, absolutely
everything else about her. Mustn't forget that. She cuddled into
me, and lay her head against my chest... You know she is
wondrously beautiful, when she is sleepy. I think she
drifted off a few times, and that is the most
wonderful feeling... that she trusted me, was content
and protected enough to just let herself drift away.
Sometimes I forget, in my own nervousness... just how
nervous she must be. I won't anymore.

We made good time to cottage. She liked it. It was a
good choice, I think... very romantic. Willow took a
long look around the outside... and turned to me, and
just said, it's beautiful... and before I could think of
a single word to say, I told her I had tried to find a
place, that could nearly equal her. She looks so
sensual when she blushes.

After Willow had taken in her fill of the exterior, we
went inside... as the door opened, the warmth spilled
out in to the chill, and by now night air... and she
went aside... good lord, that smile... I'm so glad we
decided to come here... have I mentioned yet, how
beautiful she looks when she is happy? Well she does.
Willow took a look around, and I think it's fair to
say that she liked the place. I re-lit the fire, but
not fully as the bugger didn't want to take, and she
went and run a shower. I cooked, (although I have to
say, just hearing the trickle of water, and her voice...
well, I thought I may need a somewhat more urgent
shower, when she had finished.) I'll be honest with
you, I had cheated with the dinner, as I had pre-made
it earlier, and heated it then... but I don't think
Willow minded.

After dinner, and a second glass of wine for Willow (I
have to confess, that I think that she was a little
tipsy,) Willow changed again, for bed. Dear lord... she
changed into her nightshirt... and not any old shirt, but
one of my old shirts. She actually stood in front of me wearing just
my shirt and long socks... Willow, stood there her hair
a little messy, half sleepy, a playful happy smile on
her lips... and wearing just my old shirt, which I have
to say, is surprisingly clingy on her. Very clingy.
And socks... I did mention the long socks didn't I? And
the space between the shirt, which ended just past her
mid thigh, and the socks which ended around the knee?
Very nice.

This is not going to help me sleep, I hope you
realise.

After some... vigorous fire poking, and when I gained
the power to speak again, which took a very long time,
I am sad to admit. I took a book of the mantle piece,
that I admit I had hidden there earlier, and moved
closer to her. She saw the title before I was going to
tell her, but it didn't make her smile any less
wondrous. She settled down on my lap, which I assure
you was no chore at all. And I read to her... maybe not
the most passionate thing I could have done perhaps...
but we all have few enough dreams, and if I can help
fulfil one of hers, I will do it... she has filled all
of mine.

It wasn't very long before, she drifted off to sleep.
She was, and I know I grow repetitive, but I'm in love
and you're just a book so it doesn't matter, so
beautiful. Between the fire, the light, the feel of
her against me, and... well, let's be honest... just her.
I don't think I have ever felt as content as I do
tonight. I lifted her, very carefully and carried her
to our bed. She's tucked in, and I can see her now, as
I write this. She's smiling, and muttering something
to herself.

And you know the best thing. The absolute best thing? I get
to put this pen down, close this book, and go and join
her... to put my arm around her, and fall asleep with
her next to me. And that's exactly what I am going to
do.

Saturday, 17th February

9am

Willow's in the shower. We're going to go out soon.
Together. I'm looking forward to it.

Willow heard me sing, I was singing.

Because I wanted to sing. Good lord, I wanted to sing.

We've been together one night, and I wake up wanting
to sing.

And Willow was listening... not the whole time, I hope.
I heard her sigh, and turned around... She is so
beautiful. She was sort of half in, and half out of my
door. A smile, very unlike myself when I first wake
up... and just generally being the most beautiful and
wonderful woman in the history of the world.

Well... that could have been very embarrassing, if it
didn't turn out that she really quite enjoyed it... I
managed to recompose myself, just before I would have
deposited breakfast on the floor. Then Willow joined
me in the kitchen, and kissed me. I felt considerably
better, we took a very long time, and I nearly burned
the bacon. She was still wearing just my shirt,
which unfortunately she noticed and decided to change.
I did manage to convince her to wait till after
breakfast though, which is a plus.

Willow keeps a diary too... I saw her just filling it
in. I tried to peek over her shoulders, but I'm afraid
she heard my approach. Damn. I was going to disturb
her, but she said she wanted to write it all down, to
keep her memories fresh... I understand that. I'll try
to fill this in later, circumstances willing... I have a
fairly busy day planned, all being well... It's is
Valentines Day after all... Well, not actually, but it
is our Valentines Day, and that's what matters. I want
it to be special, for Willow, for both off us. I want
to make it special. I want it to be perfect.
Everything. Today is going to be a very special day...
and hopefully a very special night, too. That's not what
matters, but... I want her. And I want her to want me. I
want to make her...there are far too many wants in this
paragraph. Let me start a new one.

I want her, to know... By the end of the day, without
question, that I love her. I don't want there to be the
slightest doubt in her mind, that I would give
anything, for her, just to make her happy. That I
would give my last breath to protect her, and never
hurt her... and simply that I love her. That I need her.
I want her to know without a shadow of a doubt, how I
feel about her... not just tell her, but show her.

And... that's exactly what I intend to do.


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