__Be Mine__
By Kath



Angel bent over until he was eye level with Wesley's desk, attempting to peer under the carefully organized tornado of papers, files, and open books that littered its surface, without actually having to displace anything. It wasn't so much Wesley's wrath he was trying to avoid - the Rogue Demon Hunter was renowned for bending over backwards to be diplomatic when it came to his employer - but rather his very British tone of disapproval. He still remembered the last time he'd been looking for something and had messed with Wesley's careful 'filing system' - well, Wes called it a filing system. Cordelia called it a pig sty.

("Really, Angel. All you had to do was *ask* me and I would have been happy to find that for you.")

He was the former Scourge Of Europe, a hundreds year old vampire who'd made a career out of killing and terrorizing humans. So, why was it so easy for 'his people' to make him feel like a child, like he wouldn't be able to dress himself, if not for them? Fiery indignation swept through the vampire, which usually led to reckless behavior. With great determination, Angel moved aside a few stacks of loose papers, finally locating the book he'd been searching for. He picked it up, and was about to head back upstairs with it, when a single sheet of paper slipped out from between the pages, floating gracefully to the tiled floor. He might have retrieved it and tossed it back onto Wesley's desk without another thought, had he not noticed it was written on very expensive looking stationery.

The paper itself was thick, creamy smooth, and pale blue in color. Curiosity getting the better of him, Angel carefully unfolded it, to reveal a pressed-gold edging, running all around the outer edge, both ends meeting at a swirling 'W' in the upper left corner, also in pressed-gold. Obviously, personal stationery from Wesley's private stock. Looking over his shoulder, to assure himself that he was alone, the vampire couldn't resist, and began to read.

"There's something I want to tell you. I know I should be man enough to say it in person, but, right now I just can't.

"I love you. There, I said it...."

Angel lowered the letter. There was no name at the top, but it must be meant for Wesley's girlfriend, Virginia. He continued.

"In all the months I've known you, that we've worked side by side, you've become very important to me. Perhaps more than you should..."

Months? Okay, not Virginia then. Angel realized there was only one person Wesley could be talking about...Cordelia. Wesley was in love with Cordelia. Not as shocking an idea as he would have once thought, given the very nature of their relationship. All that sniping and arguing had to come from somewhere. The vampire folded the paper back up and was about to tuck it into the pile on Wesley's desk, when an altogether too human 'need to know' pulled his hand back. He could tell himself he just wanted to find out if there was any way he could help his friend and colleague, but deep down he knew he was just being a snoop. Not that he let that stop him.

"Whenever I'm in the same room with you, my body feels like it's turned to jelly, my mind goes numb and my limbs seem to have a will of their own. God, it sounds like a disease. I never knew it was possible to feel so alive, and yet so terrified, at the same time. When we're fighting, or you're in danger, all I want to do is jump out and protect you. HA! As if you would need *me* when you have the strength of a vampire on your side.

I don't expect you to love me back and I'm not writing this to gain your pity. It's just something I need to get off my chest, out in the open, even if I'm the only one who's going to see it. I know, when it comes down to it, that you are my friend - my best friend - and that is enough. It has to be enough. I..."

Angel sensed the presence behind him, before he heard the soft, questioning voice calling his name.

"Angel? What are you...?" Wesley came around the end of the lobby desk and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes were glued to the paper in Angel's hand, and the vampire could practically see all the younger man's blood draining down to his feet. "Angel, that's mine. Give it here..."

Surprise and guilt slowing his reflexes, Angel must not have been quick enough to respond, for he found the letter being ripped from his hands, leaving a corner of the light blue paper behind, trapped between his fingers.

"Wes, I'm sor... I was looking for that book I lent you, and..."

Wesley's eyes were focused on his shoes, a blanket of red creeping up the back of his neck, the tiny hairs there prickling and standing on end. Angel fought the sudden urge to grab the sensitive man and hug him close, his instincts to 'protect the innocent' and 'help the hopeless' nearly overpowering him. However, he knew Wesley's pride would never survive such an unusual display of affection from his employer.

"You read it? This was personal, Angel, and you read it." He finally raised his head, sad grey eyes focusing on the squirming man in front of him, his hand shaking the letter for emphasis.

"I'm sorry, Wes. I didn't know what it was....no, that's a lie. I know I should have stopped, once I realized... and I ..." He shrugged, helplessly.

"So, now you know."

"Yeah, and Wes, I think it's great."

"You *do*?" His eyes grew wide, with wonder.

"Yeah, I do...and I think you should tell her."

"Tell...her?"

"Cordelia...you should tell her how you feel about her."

"Cordelia...yes...of course." Angel suddenly wished he had a camera, to capture the peculiar emotional display currently battling it out on Wesley's face.

"How can you be so sure...?" Wes' voice was so soft, Angel had to lean close just to hear it, the smell of fear, anxiousness and wanting rolling off the other man in waves, his rapid heartrate and shallow breathing oddly comforting and familiar. "What if I reveal my true feelings and....*she*... rejects me, or worse, laughs in my face?"

"She's not going to...." Angel paused, thinking about Cordelia, and was suddenly not so sure of what he was about to say. "Give her the letter, Wes. Give her the chance to let it sink in...for her to realize you mean it. It's a nice letter." He reached out and put a friendly hand on Wesley's shoulder."

"Do you really think so?" Hope was in his eyes now.

"I know I'm not exactly the expert on romance here, but, I think anyone would be proud to get a letter like that from you.

"I - I'm glad you think so, Angel. I'll consider what you said, alright?" A ghost of a smile momentarily lit Wesley's face, before the lines of worry returned, creasing his face, flooding Angel with the urge to reach out and erase them with a rub of his thumb. 'Needy Wes' always brought out this protective streak in the vampire, something he realized he was going to have to gain control of, if he was going to watch Wes and Cordy get together. That was what he wanted after all....wasn't it? For his two friends to be happy? He was still wresting with this notion, as Wesley quietly pocketed the letter, and slipped away unnoticed, without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(one week later)

Angel grimaced as he passed yet another holiday decoration, another reminder. Christmas had been bad enough, although Cordy had been careful to keep it as secular as possible. Somehow, he just didn't think it was appropriate to be hanging little red hearts, and cupids with arrows, in the home of a vampire - souled or not - all that red reminding him of what he once was....still was. Then, of course, there was the romance aspect of it. If they were all so worried about his brooding, they really weren't doing a very good job of distracting him.

Cordelia walked by, giving him a friendly *thwap* on the arm as she passed. "I thought you were going to wear red today."

"Emphasis on the words 'you thought', Cordelia. I don't even own anything red."

"Yes you do. Didn't you see it on the bed, when you got out of the shower?"

"Which reminds me...I don't really like the idea of you coming into my room while I'm showering." He knew by now when an argument with the girl was pointless, but sometimes he just couldn't stop himself. It kept him from thinking of...things. At this very moment, the object of his current worries was walking across the room, reading from a book, destined for a head-on collision with the front desk.

"Wes...look out!"

Without even looking up or slowing down, the slim figure sidestepped the end of the counter neatly, stopping only when the diminutive figure in front of him refused to let him pass.

"Hey! Where'd you get that shirt?" she accused.

Wesley looked up, surprised, then down at the red button-down shirt he was wearing. His hand ran along one smooth, soft sleeve, appreciatively. "Angel said you'd left it here for me...to wear to the party. Thank you."

Cordy shot a sour look in her boss' direction and was about to comment on her original intentions for the garment, when Angel came over and interrupted her, putting a friendly arm around the girl's shoulder.

"Cordy's always doing nice things like that, isn't she Wes?" He said pointedly, nodding slightly at his assistant.

Wesley looked uncomfortable, fingers playing nervously with the pages of his book. He ducked his head down and mumbled, "Oh, yes, quite. I, uh, just remembered something I left on the stove in the kitchen." Angel watched the slim, retreating back, in dismay.

Ever since he'd caught Angel reading his 'confession', Wesley had hardly said two words to him that were not job related. Whenever the vampire entered a room, Wes was soon to find an excuse to leave it. Perhaps it was time for another 'heart-to-heart'. Wes didn't seem any closer to giving the letter to Cordy. Angel was about to go after him, when the Seer stopped him, hands on her hips, eyes flashing in that 'Don't mess with me, Buster' look he knew so well.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" He was the picture of innocence. Not that she was buying any of it.

"Give him the shirt...tell him it was from me? And what's with all the secretive gestures and facial expressions? Is there something going on here that I should know about?"

"Noooo...." Angel contemplated revealing Wesley's secret, to kind of ease her into the idea, but decided Wes would never forgive him for betraying his confidence. "Nothing that I'm aware of."

"I don't buy it, but until I receive other evidence, I guess I'll let it drop...for now."

Angel allowed a dramatic sigh to escape. "Thank you, Cordelia." She giggled at him, and trounced off, letting one final thought float over her shoulder, as she left.

"You may have gotten out of wearing red today, but there had better be valentines - signed by you - to be distributed later."

Wesley returned just then, carrying a bowl with him, the book now tucked neatly under his arm. Angel's eyebrow quirked up when he saw the man was eating *cold* cereal. "Is she gone again already?"

"Off to terrorize someone else...I hope." Wesley smiled at Angel's small joke, and the older man was grateful to see it. "I never did understand what red, and cupids and hearts has to do with St. Valentine anyway, he added.

"Actually, Angel, the history of Valentine's Day goes all the way back to the Roman Empire." Angel recognized 'lecture mode' and settled onto the edge of Cordy's desk, ready and waiting, a grin hiding just beneath the surface of his features. Oblivious to Angel's amusement, Wesley continued. "You see, in ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius II - or Claudius the Cruel, as he was known - was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius canceled all marriages and engagements in Rome. Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in those days. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off..."

"How romantic," Angel commented, in a joking tone. Wesley blushed and stuttered.

"You really d-didn't want to hear all that, did you? I-I..."

"No, it's interesting....really. I want to hear the rest of it," Angel protested quickly.

"Well, if you're sure...Valentine suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270, the very same date as a holiday honoring Juno, Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine. Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers and candy. There was often a social gathering or a ball...and I'm sure I've been boring you with this long enough."

"Hey, I like you're little stories...why do you think I keep you around?" Angel must have said something wrong, because Wesley froze, his mouth open, whatever he had been about to say forgotten. Confused, Angel scratched his head and tried to figure out how his compliment had somehow been turned into an insult. Desperate to get the conversation flowing again, he said the first thing that popped into his head. "So, are you going to give Cordy a valentine?" Apparently, that question wasn't any better than the first one.

"Wha...? I....look, who I do and do not give valentines too...or any correspondence for that matter...is *my* business. I don't need you looking over my shoulder, telling me what to do." The ex-Watcher slammed his bowl down on the desk, sending up a small shower of milk, and stomped off in the direction of the patio. Now it was the vampire's turn to look stunned, his mouth gaping open, as he tried to figure out where he'd gone wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(later that night, at The Hyperion)

The party was in full swing...music playing loudly, Gunn's crew and Cordy's acting buddies dancing and mingling and having a good time. Cordelia certainly knew how to throw a party. She was busy playing hostess, enlisting Gunn's and Wesley's help in distributing the trays of catered goodies. Naturally, Angel was off hiding in his office, trying not to notice the *boom boom boom* of the bass line infiltrating his skull. He was just not cut out for modern music. Finally, the dance music quieted, replaced no doubt by something slow and romantic. Angel was startled out of his enjoyment of the sudden silence, by the loud ringing coming from his breast pocket. Retrieving the cell phone, he began randomly punching buttons, until the ringing stopped, and a shrill voice came out. Tentatively, he put it to his ear.

"Angel, I know you're in there hiding. Get your undead butt out here now and make an appearance, or I will *so* never let you live it down. It's time to hand out the valentines."

Turning the phone off without replying, Angel reluctantly lifted himself out of his comfortable chair and slowly shuffled his way to the patio, where the party was being held. Sure enough, the sight of swaying couples, wrapped in each others arms, greeted him upon arrival. It wasn't a moment before Cordelia had spotted him and came rushing over.

"Well, it's about time you showed up. C'mon, dance with me. I'm sure even *you* can manage a slow one."

"Wha...? Cordy, I..." It was useless to protest, as she grabbed his arm and dragged him into the middle of the sea of people. They passed by Wesley en route and Angel had just enough time to catch a sad, almost wistful expression on the solitary man's face. "Cordelia, maybe you should ask Wesley..."

"Pffft, he's busy being my waiter tonight. Besides, he's as bad a dancer as you are. Forget about him and just concentrate on *not* stepping on my toes."

Angel did manage to get through the song without maiming the former May Queen, and hoped, now that he'd made his appearance, he'd be allowed to disappear again. No such luck.

"Okay, everybody, gather 'round." Cordy called out, motioning to Gunn to turn down the music. "It's time to hand out the valentines." She reached behind her and pulled a large sack off the table, handing it to the confused vampire, shifting nervously from foot to foot, next to her.

"What? What the he...am I supposed to do with this?" he hissed, under his breath.

"Relax," she whispered back. "Everyone brought valentines and we've already sorted them by person. All you have to do is pass them out." If looks could kill, Cordy knew she'd be picking out a coffin right about now. As it stood, she knew her employer had no choice but to cooperate...either that or cause a scene in front of all their guests. She beamed up at him, her famous 'thousand watt' smile on her face.

Angel began pulling bundles out of the sack and calling out names. He was going to kill that girl...soul or no soul, she was dead meat. The bag got lighter and lighter, until, eventually, he'd handed them all out. Greatly relieved, he tossed the sack at Cordy, with a look that said 'Don't you dare try to keep me from leaving' and turned to go....only to run smack into Wesley, who had been hurrying towards him. "Sorry, Wes..."

"No, I apologize. I won't keep you...only, I didn't put this in the bag with the rest, and..."

Angel looked down at his hand, and realized a small packet of envelopes was being thrust into it. Turning it over, he discovered his name was written on the top. His head shot back up in surprise, but by then, Wesley had managed to disappear into the crowd again. Shrugging, the vampire fled the room, seeking the relative solace of his office once more. Flopping down into his chair, he was about to toss the packet of cards onto his desk, when he paused, then decided to open them after all. The first was from David Nabbit: a wizard, dressed in purple, wishing him a 'magical' valentine. The next was from Cordy...all flowers and lace and sweet thoughts. The third - the smallest - was of the children's variety...a dopey looking puppy with a heart tied to its collar; the name 'GUNN' scrawled across the bottom hastily, probably at Cordelia's insistence. The last one, by process of elimination, had to be from Wesley.

Smiling, the vampire stuck his finger into the small opening left at the corner of the envelope, and slid the seal apart. He wondered just what sort of valentine Wes had picked out. The front of the card was adorned with two small boys, grubby from play, their arms thrown comfortably around each others' shoulders. It read...

"Valentines are like good friends..."

Angel flipped it open, and never did find out *how* valentines were like good friends. Staring up at him, nestled within the confines of the card, was a familiar light blue piece of paper. Telling himself Wes had just decided to include a friendly note, written on the same stationery as before, the vampire picked it up, turned it over, and stopped. One corner of the paper was missing, as if torn off.

[He must have put this in the wrong envelope, that's all.] He knew it wasn't possible, but it felt like his heart was pounding uncontrollably, as he unfolded the paper, his fingers trembling.

"Dear Angel..."

His hands fell uselessly back into his lap. Oh God...

"There's something I want to tell you..."

Angel leaned his head back, feeling the comforting support of his chair, the smooth leather cool at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. Breathing? Now he knew he was freaking out.

"I love you...there I said it...."

Wesley *loved* him...loved *him*. How? Why? Angel picked up the letter again, running his finger along the jagged edge where it had ripped. He read the entire thing from beginning to end, each word made brand new, because now it was written for him.

"Thank you for always being there for me, for giving me a chance when no one else would. I just want you to know, I'll always be there for you. Love, Wesley"

Angel sat quietly, chin resting on his clasped hands, his thoughts streaking off into hundreds of different directions, all leading him back to the same conclusion. He wanted Wesley, and Wesley - apparently - wanted him. He chewed at his lip, nervously, trying to figure out his best course of action. How was a laconic man such as himself going to find the words to say what he wanted to say? How was he going to convince Wes that he was truly accepted...and wanted...and loved? Inspired, Angel yanked open the lower left drawer of his desk, rummaging through it until he finally found what he was looking for...the package of valentines Cordelia had given him, insisting he fill them out for the party. He sifted through them until he'd found the one he wanted, quickly wrote on it, and jumped out of his chair, heading back towards the party.

"Cordelia, where's Wesley?" He had to shout to be heard over the music.

"So, you're back are you? Good, we need more snack trays out here. Wes just took off on me...said he had to get home. He *claims* he has plans, but since the guy doesn't have a life...Angel?" The girl found herself talking to thin air. "Typical man." She threw up her hands and went in search of Gunn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wesley trudged wearily up the stairs to his third floor flat. He'd hated to leave the party early, but he hadn't wanted to risk running into Angel...not so soon after the bloody stupid thing he'd done. What had possessed him? He could have let Angel go on thinking it was Cordelia he was interested in, but no. He had to give in to one weak moment of hope...and desire. Because, God knows, he desired Angel. He ran his hand down his own chest, feeling the material, knowing now that it was Angel who had given it to him, not Cordelia, wishing the vampire had worn it first, so that there might be some trace of him for Wesley to treasure. He leaned his head forward against his door, enjoying the feel of the cool wood on his warm forehead as he dug into his pocket for his heavy ring of keys. There were the keys to his motorcycle and Angel's car, several for the many doors of The Hyperion, one each for the fire proof strong box and the file cabinet. He also still carried the keys to the old office; useless as they now were, he just couldn't bare to throw them away. Finally, there were the keys to Cordy's apartment and his flat. He slid the latter into place and listened for the click of the lock, but it never came. The door was already unlocked.

Wes' brow furrowed deeply; he frowned at the door as if waiting for it to offer up some explanation for its present state. He hesitated, then carefully pushed it open, trying to peer into the darkness without actually crossing the threshold. A shadow loomed up, causing Wesley to stumble backwards, heart in his throat. The door swung open fully, revealing a rather chagrined figure standing there.

'Hey, Wes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Angel? What are you doing here? How...?" Angel stepped aside, allowing Wesley to enter his own apartment.

"You gave me a key, remember? When you were in the hospital."

"Oh yes, of course." His mind was racing, probably trying to keep up with the beating of his heart. How many times had he wished...dreamed... for Angel to be here with him. Now that he was, Wes was terrified.

"Wesley?" Out of excuses, the young Englishman was forced to turn around, his eyes planted firmly on the patterned carpet in front of him. "Wes?" Grey eyes came up to meet brown. "You left the party before I could give you this." An envelope was thrust awkwardly towards him. Mystified, Wesley took it and opened it. Inside, the card simply said 'Be Mine', and below that, 'Love, Angel'.

"Angel?"

"I know it's not much...but it's how I feel." He reached up to lightly caress the stunned man's face with one hand, his other hand moving to rest on Wesley's hip. "Happy Valentine's Day, Wes."

Angel pulled Wesley's mouth down to his, capturing his soft, warm lips with his own cool ones. As first kisses go, it was tentative, yet hungry, delicate and full of longing. Wesley snaked his arms around the vampire's waist, pulling him closer as Angel's fingers danced along the ridges of his spine.

When, at last, they pulled apart, the flushed human couldn't take his eyes off the man in his arms. He couldn't believe this was real...that it was actually happening to him. He wanted to say so many things...to tell Angel again how much he meant to him, but he couldn't seem to form the words. All he managed to stutter out was "H-happy Valentine's Day, Angel."

That was enough.

* * *