__Be Careful What You Wish For__
By Kath
(Angel's POV)
Gunn is all adrenaline, sweat and fear. Wesley smells of that,
plus...something else. How dare they invade my territory. They have
no right. Didn't I fire them?
Turn a corner. There they are. They're....huh? They're smiling...and
laughing...and covered in...so that's what I smelled. Since when are
they so 'chummy'?
They didn't come here looking for me.
The glow from the street lamp glimmers off Wesley's glasses like a
beacon in the night, as he turns his head in my direction. No surprise in
those steel grey eyes...no longing, no fear...nothing. The smile is gone.
It was not meant for me. For one, endless moment in time, our eyes
lock, his silence speaking volumes. Then he looks away. I am
dismissed.
Just who does he think he is? I am the one who walks away. Not him.
A casual swing of the ax, as he hefts it onto his shoulder, a friendly slap
on the back for his new 'best friend', and they are leaving.
Leaving me.
I can deny it all I want, but I am bound to these people...bound
to ...*him*. I crave their friendship, the sense of belonging I once took
for granted, but I am in the middle of fighting a war. I can't afford to be
weak...to worry...to care.
Why haven't I left yet? *I* was supposed to be the one to turn away
first. Not him.
It's started to rain. They're laughing again, so at ease with each other.
I watch as Wesley spreads his arms wide, welcoming the wetness,
allowing it to run down his face, soaking his hair, washing the filth from
his clothes.
I asked for this...to be on the outside, looking in. It's what I
wanted...what I needed. I can't be bothered with their petty little
victories anymore.
So why can't I turn away?
* * *