__Just Like a Dream__
By Gabi
Buffy sighed. It was Christmas Eve and she wished it was all over already. It would be the first Christmas without her Mom. Giles wouldn't be there either. She still felt... nothing at all really and to top it off Anya and the others would come by later to decorate the Christmas tree. The one that she had yet to buy along with food.
She simply couldn't bring herself to leave her comfy couch. The ringing bell took care of that problem.
When she opened the door, she was greeted by a young, cheerfully smiling man.
"Merry Christmas! I'm here to grant you three wishes."
"Ehm, that is really nice of you, but I don't need anything."
She moved to close the door, when the man put his hand on it and the foot inside.
"O-kay. Listen, it's Christmas. I know you're just doing your job, but I really don't want to buy anything."
"It's free."
"I don't want any samples either."
The man looked at her then seemed to reconsider.
"You *are* Buffy Anne Summers?"
"Yes, I... how do you know my second name?"
"Oh, I know everything about you. I'm here to grant you three wishes."
Buffy was a bit unsure now. "You said that already," she repeated absentmindedly.
"What is your first wish?"
"I... I don't know who you are and why you are doing this, but I'm kinda really busy today, so if y-"
"You don't believe me."
"To tell you the truth, no. I've seen and heard of a lot of things, and I mean a *lot*, but people walking around granting wishes is something that only happens in fairy tales, I'm afraid."
"Why don't you try one? If you're right, nothing will happen and I'll leave again."
"Ehm... all right. I can't believe I'm doing this but..."
She moved aside to let him in.
They went into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"So I can wish for anything I want?"
"Yes. Well almost. You cannot wish for more wishes. Also nothing that has an impact on the whole world. You cannot wish for world peace or cure AIDS or cancer and such things. But anything else is fine. Just try it. I'm sure you will find something."
She looked at him and couldn't help a smile. He talked and looked like a real salesman.
"Okay. Let me think. I wish that this house was paid for and belonged to us."
"Very good."
"So what do you have to do now. Or do I have to do something."
"No, no. It's already done. Our service is very quick."
"Then..."
"Look at your papers."
She stood up and got out the papers from their little 'mountain of debt'. She took them back to the couch and sat down again, putting them on the table.
"I'm sure you will be satisfied."
She was still looking for the right paper.
"Ah here it is. Oh my God. You are right." She looked for Anya's summary of their debt and it had disappeared from there, too. "The house belongs to us now."
The young man smiled.
"What is your second wish?"
"Oh. My second wish." Buffy didn't really know what to do or think. She was very used to surprises on the Hellmouth, but they were hardly ever of the wish granting kind. She suddenly thought of Anya.
"You aren't a vengeance demon, are you?"
"No, of course not!"
He seemed really offended.
"The business of vengeance is dealt with by others. You were given this as an offer of reparation."
"Reparation?"
"We were very sorry to hear of your... departure from our office."
Buffy's jaw dropped.
"You... you're an angel?"
"Oh please. We work in the service of Goodness. Not much different than yourself."
"So we're almost like colleagues."
"You could say that. What is your second wish?"
Buffy sat back on the couch. Not ten minutes ago she had wished that Christmas was over. But what did she really want? A long life? A quick soon death? That she could feel again? Happiness? She was tempted to wish to be happy, but for some reason it didn't feel right. She had seen too much.
For everything good that happened, something bad would happen. She was afraid that if she wished for her own happiness, someone else, possibly someone she loved, would end up being unhappy just because of that. Or if she wished to feel again, who would guarantee that it would be anything other than pain?
She knew first hand what happened if you messed with the world. She wouldn't do the same. No, happiness would either come or it wouldn't. Suddenly she had an idea.
"I wish I knew if there ever will be a time in my life, a long time, let's say at least a year, that I consider myself happy."
"Your wish is to *know* if you will be happy?"
"Yes."
"Not to *be* happy?"
"No, I just want to know if I will."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then I will grant you that wish and answer your question. Yes, there will be a long time in your life that you will consider happy."
"Really?"
"Yes."
She smiled. For a second she hadn't been sure about the wish. She wasn't sure what she would have done had the answer been no. But a bitter little voice had told her, that things could hardly get any worse anyway.
She would be happy again. It seemed almost impossible now. Her life was currently so screwed up, that she didn't really know where to begin to make it right again. And now it seemed that she would make it better than right.
She had asked about a long time on purpose. She had always had moments of happiness, but a whole year that she considered happy? There had always been something that made it impossible to think of any year in her life since she had become the Slayer as happy. Deaths (her own and those of people she loved), departures, estrangement from her friends, divorce. Happiness was nothing that had ever lasted long enough to make up fully for the bad that
happened in her life.
She really wondered how her happy life would look like. As if on cue, the young man spoke again.
"What is your third wish?"
"My last wish is to take a look at my happy life. I want to see moments from an average day."
He gave her a long look that for the first time made her wonder about the person behind the 'wish-granting salesman'. He smiled at her warmly and at that moment she knew that he had already seen her happy future. He knew her.
He knew her history, what she had been through and what was to come into her life.
Then his smiling face faded away.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
She was in a dark room. There was some noise. The cry of a baby. Suddenly the door opened and the light was switched on.
She recognized the room as her own room and the person, who had just come in, as an older version of herself. She didn't really look older in the face. Her hair was shorter and back to her natural brown and she seemed to be not as slim as she was now, but she still looked good and fit.
Her older self rushed to the little bed and picked up the baby. Her baby?
"Shhh, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? Mommie's here. Shhh, it'll be all right."
The baby quieted down.
She was a mother? She would have a child? Buffy had never dared to ask Giles if that was even possible. Maybe it was adopted. Not that that would matter. She was raising a child. Having a family perhaps?
Suddenly there were footsteps rushing towards them in the hall. Then a little boy stuck his face in the room.
"Mommy?"
"Shh, we don't want to wake Daddy up. He had a long night."
The little boy ran inside, looking up at his mother.
"Hungwy."
She smiled and stroked his brown hair.
"I'll get you something in a minute."
Buffy couldn't believe it. She had two children? And a husband?
Before she could dwell on the thought the room faded and she found herself in what seemed to be an office of some kind.
"Ah, Buffy, there you are."
Buffy turned to see Tara getting up from a desk. At first she thought she was coming straight towards her, but then she realized, that her older self was just coming up behind her.
"I'm so sorry, Dawn was late."
"Ah, it's okay. He's waiting. It can't hurt him to learn some patience."
The two of them went along a hall, which suddenly turned into rows of books.
Buffy turned around to see that she was in the magic box. It seemed to be empty, but then she heard a voice. Could it be?
She quickly stepped closer, when suddenly the door opened and her older self came in.
"Hello?"
From the side section of the store two people came into view. A customer led by Giles. Buffy's heart jumped slightly.
He was back. Back in Sunnydale. A smile spread over her face not unlike that of Giles himself as he acknowledged older Buffy's presence, but kept listening to the customer. They walked past her and she saw her older self watching them with a slight grin on her face.
Buffy turned around to them and saw Giles looking at her older self, not smiling any longer, but with a definite spark in his eyes.
Hmmm. Buffy wasn't quite sure what she had seen, but she and Giles seemed to be back on track again and she couldn't have been happier about that.
The scene changed again.
Giles and her older self were now training hand to hand in the backroom.
They stood opposite each other. Giles was already quite sweaty, the older Buffy not as much, but they seemed to have been at if for a while now. Giles tried and attacked, but she blocked him off and used the moment for a counter attack, pinning him beneath her.
A slight jolt went through Buffy's body as she saw the two of them on the ground. There was something in the air, that wasn't like their usual training. Their jaws were clenched. The older Buffy still held him to the ground straddling him. Buffy realized that she had never stayed on top of Giles so long in training. Then as understanding dawned she found herself at home again.
She was in the living-room. The young boy - her son - was apparently imitating an airplane as he rushed through the room with spread arms. She could see her older self in the kitchen talking to someone. She was carrying the baby.
"So how did it go with Ron?"
"Great. He absolutely hates my guts now."
"What could be better?"
"No, really, it's good. It's a sign that he cares. He's beginning to see that I'm right. That's always painful."
Buffy entered the kitchen to watch her older self and an older Dawn talk more closely.
"I'm glad you're getting trough to him."
"I really hope so."
"I'm sure. You'll do it. Just like the others."
"You make it sound like I'm some Saint saving people."
"Well, you *are*."
"No, I'm not. Tara is the one who picks them up and gets them to come. I just volunteer to talk to them, if they let me. She's the Saint, if anyone."
"Hey, you do your bit. After all you have slaying and two kids to keep you busy."
"And a husband."
"Yes, but you don't have to take care of him."
"Oh, I don't know, he likes it when I take care of him," the older Buffy said with a grin.
Dawn covered her ears.
"I'm not hearing anything of this. It's bad enough that I have proof that you two had sex at least twice. I don't need to hear any details."
Dawn put her hands down and the older Buffy laughed, then she turned serious.
"Well, thank you for looking after that proof today. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"*Pay* for a babysitter?"
"Didn't you need to go somewhere today?"
Dawn picked up a bag and the two of them (plus the baby) moved towards the door. The young boy was still running around the room.
"He did this all afternoon. I got dizzy after ten minutes of watching him."
"Poor thing. If it doesn't get better, go to a doctor and I'll pay the bill."
"You're really just using me as cheap labor."
"No, cheap would mean I'm paying you. I'm just using you. But let's not forget the tight skirts and tops that seem to appear in the laundry at the same times when the fridge suddenly gets mysteriously emptied."
"That's weird. You should let Giles look into that."
The two laughed.
"Thanks again, Dawn. I really appreciate it."
"Hey, you're welcome. Any time. By the way there is no more chocolate pudding in the fridge."
Buffy opened the door.
"Just go, before I see what you left in the laundry."
"Bye. Oh, there's your darling husband. I better run before I have to witness another heart-breaking reunion. 'Oh, Buffy, my dearest. How could I survive so long without. Kiss me, my love.' Ugh."
She made some retching noises and was out of sight.
Buffy looked at the still open door. Her (future) husband was about to come in. Her heart rate picked up.
A thousand thoughts shot through her brain. She had a baby and a little son. Dawn was living elsewhere it seemed. She had a part-time job helping young people with problems or something like that. Giles was back in Sunnydale.
They were friends again. He was her Watcher again. But there was even more. He was...
And just as her husband came into view she knew who it would be.
Giles entered the door.
"Was that Dawn?"
"Yeah, I just got back."
Buffy watched as he closed the door and kissed his wife. Herself. Her older self, but herself. It was unbelievable. It was amazing. It was shocking. It was so very right.
The smile that her older self had given him earlier, that she couldn't quite place... his reaction. Then later their intense looks as she straddled him. And now here they were, kissing as if they hadn't seen each other in weeks, not hours.
Buffy felt strange watching them. It was like coming home to a place that you'd almost forgotten. It was as if she had always known, but only now that she actually saw it did she realize it. She loved Giles.
The baby that was still in older Buffy's arms woke up and upon seeing her Daddy tried to grab any part of his face that she could reach.
Buffy smiled as Giles stopped the kiss and looked at his daughter.
"Hello, my little one. How are you?"
"Daddy, daddy, I can fly."
The little boy rushed past Buffy, but before he reached his father, the room changed again.
It was dark. Buffy's eyes had to adjust, but she knew where she was even before she could make out anything. She was in the bedroom. Formerly her mother's room, then Willow and Tara's, it now obviously was their bedroom.
She heard sweet whispers of love, bodies moving against each other, soft moans, well aware that they weren't alone in the house.
They were close. She could feel it. The moans got a little louder, their rhythm faster, a last "yes" by her older self and then Giles' whispered words.
"I love you, Buffy."
The room faded away and she was sitting on the couch again, papers on the table.
She turned to her side, but she was alone.
She went through the papers again. The house belonged to her. So it wasn't a dream.
She got up and put away the papers. She smiled to herself. Really smiled for the first time in a long, long time.
It was as if nothing had happened. Just like a dream. Fading and too good to be real.
But this dream would come true.
* * *