__Cast Grievance__
By Beadtific
Location: Green Room and author's office for the production of "The Bond"
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"Hey guys, there's another review!"
The entire cast gathered around Beadtific's iBook to read it. "Oooh, she gave us ten points!" the blond writer
cooed happily.
Xander nudged Giles in the ribs. "Looka there G-man from LovetheWatcher."
Giles blushed and scowled at the same time. "She didn't say *which* watcher. And stop calling me that; I loathe
it."
"Yeah," the author said, ignoring Giles. She wished someone had told her how testy he got when he'd been written
into a coma. "LovetheWatcher is great about feedback."
"Why doesn't anybody else say anything?" Willow asked. "It's not like she and that Adele the only ones reading. We
can *see* how many times people have accessed the chapters."
"Speaking of which, does this creature... read?" said Veronica, looking down her nose at the person who was trying
to jostle for a better view.
The First Slayer bared her teeth and snarled at the older witch, who backed away from the group. The spirit edged
in to the vacated space, looked over the author's shoulder and grunted, "How many hit – "Protect You?'"
Buffy and Giles rolled their eyes and exchanged an indulgent look, which was not lost on the First Slayer.
"How many hit, last story, Chap-ter 8?" she asked the author, scowling at the couple, who were looking dreamily
into one another's eyes.
"Three hundred ninety one hits for our little slumber party." Giles said automatically, and blushed. "Not that
it's more important than any other chapter," he tried to explain.
The First Slayer grinned and held out her hand to Xander, who sourly gave her his Dagwood-esque sandwich.
"Thanks a lot, G-man," he complained. "You just lost me the last of the corned beef. Who would have thought you'd
kiss and count?"
"Oh, like you don't when you do those ridiculous Spander stories." Giles said mulishly. Everyone looked at Xander
accusingly.
"What?" he said, "It's work! I'm putting myself out there! Oh, God I just said that, didn't I? I meant exposing
myself to a wider audience." He winced and his shoulders slumped. "Willow, stop me." The redhead patted him
sympathetically on the shoulder.
"It's okay, Xan, we've all been fiction 'hoes at one time or another."
"What's Spander?" inquired Dawn, curiously. Buffy looked hard at the First Slayer, begging her to save them from
explaining fan fic casting.
The spirit, giving a rusty chuckle, did not disappoint. "How many nice words - first story?" she asked innocently.
(Well, as innocently as a mud-daubed, snaggle-toothed horror could look.) Giles and Buffy glared at her, knowing
the story they had starred in previously had only received one review on the site. (Several people had emailed the
author, but it was rather a sore point with them not to be acknowledged publicly) The First Slayer didn't even
bother to wait for Beadtific to look up the numbers.
"My story - six." she said with a frightening grin, and crawled under the table to enjoy her spoils.
Giles sighed bitterly and looked at Beadtific, who was trying not to laugh. "Are you satisfied?" he sniped,
"You've succeeded in turning the First Slayer into a competitive diva who is obsessed with her reviews. I'm sure
she'll want her own trailer next."
"No," came a rather moist-sounding grunt from the floor, "want yours."
The author shrugged apologetically.
"Do try to wake me up soon, will you?" Giles asked peevishly. "Before she decides the story really *is* hers and
runs roughshod over the plot? It would be a shame to waste this lovely coma I've been put in.... for possibly the
sixth time this year. "
"I didn't..." the author protested.
"No, no, *you've* only had me passing out regularly since Chapter 10 of the last story, written Buffy and I into a
dangerous neurological risk, and then allowed us to nearly kill ourselves with sex! Yes, thanks ever so much for
just the *one* coma, after several other authors have had me in backless hospital gowns all spring. I'm sure I'll
be fine - no lasting damage. You bloody authors, switching me in and out of consciousness like I was some sort
of... of..."
"Robot?" supplied Willow. Buffy shuddered.
"Light switch?" added Xander.
"Watcher," said a raw, but laughing, voice from under the table.
Giving his author one last eloquent look, Giles made a dignified exit.... to his trailer.
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