__Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again__
By Ashley
Giles was gone.
Never to return. Never to crack open a cross
reference for her, never to give her his disapproving
'look', never to laugh with her again.
And it was all Buffy's fault.
Willow had ran all the way to Buffy's house crying
the day it happened. She had tried to speak, but more
tears only came. She blamed herself for not being able
to help, and Buffy could not console her.
When Willow had calmed down, Buffy held her, trying
to find out why she was crying. And Willow told her.
Buffy ran for Giles' house, tears streaming down her
face. She didn't stop running until she reached his
door.
Not even bothering to knock, she threw it off it's
hinges, and ran into his apartment. Screaming his
name, she searched every room. But it was all in vain.
Giles was gone.
Buffy collapsed on the floor, and cried again.
Pulling herself up, she left the apartment. It hurt
too much to be there.
And so she walked.
Without thinking, she passed the burnt out shell of
the school. Three years in that library....
//You were once
my one companion...
you were all that mattered...//
The love, the hate, the betrayal, the laughter....he
*was* that place. And she missed them both terribly.
//You were once
a friend and father--
then my world
was shattered...//
Buffy entered the building. She knew the way to the
library by heart, even in this state. She found it,
and the memories came flooding back.
"You poisoned me..."
"You have a father's love for the girl, and that is
useless to the cause."
The tears started again. That had been the beginning
of the end. How could she have done that to him?
//Wishing you were
somehow here again...
wishing you were
somehow near...//
She began to walk again, sick of the depressing
state of what had once been her home.
She found herself at the Bronze. When she thought
back now, she remembered their first meeting there...
"You like to party with the students? Isn't that
kind of skanky?"
Buffy smiled, but it was bittersweet. How many times
had he backed her up here? Saved her even? And what
had she given him in return?
She walked out onto the street. She passed the
Espresso Pump. How many times had she snuck in there,
trying to get a glimpse of him singing? Why couldn't
she have just talked to him, instead of this?
//Sometimes it seemed,
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would be here...//
Buffy stared at the empty street, willing his car to
appear. That stupid piece of junk....no matter how
much she made fun of it, she still loved riding in it
with him.
//Wishing I could
hear your voice again...
knowing that I
never would...//
Buffy found herself wandering again, thinking. He
had always believed in her, told her she could do so
much. So why didn't *she* believe anymore?
She came to the gates of a cemetery. But not any
cemetary. Maybe if....
//Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could...//
Buffy began to run. She pushed past the gates,
weaving through headstones and statues.
Then she saw it.
//Passing bells
and sculpted angels,
cold and monumental,
seem, for you,
the wrong companions--
you were warm and gentle...//
Giles was there.
With blood red roses in his hands. He slowly bent
down, and placed them softly on the grave.
Jenny.
She began to sob softly again, as he said his last
goodbyes.
"Noooo..." She whispered.
//Too many years
fighting back tears...
Why can't the past just die...?//
The vampire grabbed her from behind. Surprised,
Buffy couldn't move, as more held her down. Her eyes
were fixed on him.
She tried in vain to cry out, as more overtook
Giles. She struggled, tears streaming down her face,
as they pulled him to the ground.
She pulled against her attacker's arms as they bit
into him.
Buffy screamed again, but was unable to tear her
eyes away from them.
//Wishing you were
somehow here again...
knowing we must
say goodbye...//
They drained him quickly, licking their blood
stained lips in satisfaction. She was let go, and
dropped to the ground beside him.
"Giles....Don't leave me!" She sobbed, tears
blurring her vision.
"I can't do this without you!"
//Try to forgive...
teach me to live...
give me the strength
to try...//
She threw herself over him.
//No more memories,
no more silent tears...
no more gazing across
the wasting years...//
She screamed in anguish, as she clutched his
lifeless body.
"I need you!"
//Help me say goodbye//
And then the rain started, just like it had been
that night long ago. It mixed with her fallen tears,
and his spilt blood.
//Help me say goodbye//
"I loved you...."
//Help me say...//
"Goodbye."
* * *