__If Looks Could Kill__
By Andrea
Why do I feel this way? Why do I get jealous every
time I see the two of them together?
Like right now.
They're standing so close together, that Willow's
costume is clanging against him. As usual, they're
wrapped up in the book, even at a time like this, when
we need to stop whatever's happening and get out.But
no, they're taking their time, making sure that Willow
can handle the spell.
Of course she can handle it!
Sometimes I feel like slapping some sense into Giles
when it comes to Willow and her magic. He thinks that
she is still this innocent, naive girl who has yet to
try anything harder than floating a pencil. He
believes that every magic lesson he has with Willow,
is the first time she's ever heard of what he's
teaching her. Most of the time, Willow already knows
it and probably five times it. But, she pretends that
every lesson is the first and Giles buys it.
If he knew half the spells she's tried, Giles would
flip his British lid.
Or not.
Even if he did find out, I'm not sure that Giles would
believe it. Hell, Willow could probably commit murder
in front of him and he'd think that somehow she was
set up.
Sweet, innocent Willow do anything wrong? Never.
According to Giles. He has her on some sort of
pedestal like a goddess. Revered, respected and
incapable of doing no wrong. All she has to do is give
him that puppy dog in the rain look and he melts all
in a puddle.
Like now.
She's staring up at him, flashing her big green eyes,
looking with such trust and purity on her face. And he
is soaking it up like a sponge. Gazing down at her,
with that look of awe and admiration on his face, like
she just asked him to have her baby or something.
I think I may be sick.
I love Willow. I do. She's my best friend and I know
she'll do anything for me and vice versa. But, for
some reason, when I see her and Giles together like
that, I get this butterfly churning in my stomach.
Like a nervous, anxious feeling.
What was that I just saw? Did I see Giles look Willow
up and down? And in front of Oz too! Now, I'm really
gonna toss my cookies.
That better be appreciation I see and not....UGH! I
don't even want to think about it.
He looks impressed at her costume. 'Clever Willow did
it again,' he's probably thinking. Joan of Arc.
Strong, independent, brave ,fearless..everything he
sees in Willow and more. I wonder what he sees when he
looks at my costume.
Little Red Riding Hood. Could I have worn anything
more that said...child. Does he see me like that?
Still a child, still needing someone to hold my hand
to cross the street..
God, I couldn't be Calamity Jane or Cleopatra. I had
to be a fairytale character....with a picnic
basket...Sheesh!
Little Red Riding Hood vs. Joan of Arc.
If our costumes were in a fight, Willow's would ass
kick mine in a heartbeat. What was I thinking when I
let Mom talk me into this? Of course, she would say I
looked good in it, she's my Mom! What else was she
going to say? I could be wearing a potato sack and
Mom'll still love it. Mothers always think their
children look beautiful, it's programmed into them.
Still....Little Red Riding Hood..
He did it again! Unless my eyes are playing tricks, I
swear I saw Giles take a peep at Willow.
Not an obvious one. Just a quick sneak peek, his eyes
flickering up and down. Subtle and suave...typical
Giles.
Why hasn't he looked at me like that? Why hasn't he
commented on my costume? Guess, Little Red Riding Hood
is not an intelligent choice of a costume like Joan of
Arc. 'Typical Willow', he's thinking, 'Using that
lovely brain of hers yet again.'
Wait! Wasn't Joan of Arc a virgin? Guess, Willow isn't
exactly a carbon copy of Joan. What would Giles say if
he knew that his 'pure as a driven snow' Willow had a
few tire tracks in her.
What am I saying? Or rather thinking. When did I
become so bitchy? So petty? Is it because the whole
Parker thing has made me crazy? Or was it the Kathy
thing that is driving me to paranoid city? Or is it
because I'm stuck in this stupid house facing all my
fears that I don't want to face?
Like this.
Is this one of my fears? That Willow and Giles will
get close? That somehow Giles will outgrow me and
realize that there are better ways for him to occupy
his time, rather than having him day after day train
me. That I might lose the only person who has been the
one constant in my life, not including my Mom.
Is it that then?
I must admit that's an even bigger fear...losing him
to Willow. I don't know why, but the idea of that
happening scares me more than I want to admit. They
have so much in common, more than Giles and I have.
And it would be natural for the two of them...
YECH! I don't want to think about that or else I just
might hurl all the trick or treat candy I've eaten. I
can't think like that. I gotta stop thinking like
this. I have to stop thinking that Giles staring at
Willow with that awestruck look on his face is nothing
more than admiration. And not something that you would
see on Melrose Place.
"Buffy?" asked Giles concerned.
Snapping out of my reverie, I answered, "Yes Giles?"
walking over to him.
"We are ready to do the spell?" Giles replied,
motioning for everyone to gather in a circle. Checking
once more, he turned to me, "Ready?"
"Ready." I said, flashing him one of my most bright
smiles.
He smiled in return, giving me that special smile that
he only reserved for those special times when he was
really proud of me or when we had those rare quiet
moments during patrol.
Smiling to myself, I thought, as Giles began the
spell, 'Joan of Arc, eat my picnic basket!'
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