__A Watcher's Heart__
By Andrea
"Is that better?"
Giles groaned as the shock of the cool towel gently
wiped the sweat and blood from his forehead. He let
himself for the briefest moment relax in her touch,
let her touch ease his discomfort. This was a rare
moment of calm in the sea of unending pain.
For what seemed like hours, days, he had mercilessly
been at the hands of Angelus, the sadistic evil
vampire who had made their lives a living hell for the
past 6 months. To Giles, this was a culmination of
that hell, himself one step away from death.
The endless torture, mentally and physically, combined
with lapses of consciousness threatened to break his
resolve. His resolve to protect the secret of Acathla
from this psychotic killer, the consequences life
damaging to Sunnydale, to himself, and most
importantly to the Scooby Gang, whose safety meant
more to him than his own.
Buffy, who was more than his slayer but one of his
own; Xander, a trusted friend, whose loyalty to Buffy
and himself he deeply admired. And Willow..Dear Willow
whose mere presence made everyday worth living. For
them, Giles knew he had to hang on as long as possible
till he was either saved or dead. They were his focus,
she was his focus, as she had always been. Willow.
His thoughts were interrupted by an icy finger running
along the side of his face. He turned away, the feel
of her nail making him wary. He felt her hand run up
the back of his head and through his sweat dampened
hair, her nails scraping his scalp. Giles
involuntarily leaned forward, giving into her massage.
He let his mind drift back, drift back to Willow. Her
image a constant in his mind. She was always there, at
times at the forefront when it was all he could think
about or in the back, when flickers of her would take
rest. From the very first day, she'd secured a place
in his mind as well as in his heart. A reason for
living and an anchor to this reality, Willow, with the
red silk hair, emerald gems, porcelain skin, was what
truly kept him alive.
Giles felt himself suddenly falling, barely
registering that the dark vampiress was touching him,
speaking to him, her soft words floating over his
head.
"Poor thing. Let's see what's inside." Drucilla purred
as she honed in on the Watcher's thoughts. She let her
powers of clairvoyance wash over her, until they
caressed her and by touch, him also. She coaxed his
door open, gaining entrance inside his mind. And
there, she was shot with a barrage of images, good and
bad, pretty and ugly. Colors swirled everywhere, a
kaleidoscope of reds and blues, greens and blacks.
Deeper she went, hoping to find his heart, knowing
that whatever was there would be the key. She closed
her eyes, letting him wash over her until they became
one mind. She saw all these faceless images, brief
notes in his life. There were a few that flickered
more than the others, the Slayer, the mean teacher,
the bewitched boy, all were brief but evident. But, as
Drucilla searched deeper, one face stood out among the
others. This was more bright, more sharper, more
clearer than any of the others.
Red and green combined with a white were what stood
out to her the most. A pretty face with a sunshine
smile that seemed to call to her, beckon her closer.
Searching even deeper, she was hit with images of the
Watcher and the pretty face, talking and laughing,
each one becoming more intimate than the previous one.
She sensed their closeness, the bond between the two
and she knew then that this was the Watcher's heart.
"Oh.." she said surprised, gripping his head tighter.
"Of course."
Making her way around the chair, Drucilla began to
weave her spell, enchanting the Watcher under her
power. Extending her two fingers and going
counterclockwise, she tried to bring his attention to
her but he was resisting slightly.
"No..look at me." she hypnotized." See in me."
Kneeling, Drucilla was facing him, hypnotizing him
with her voice and her gestures. She soon had his full
attention, noticing his dark jade eyes transfixed on
her fingers. The idea that he was completely in her
enthrall sent a thrill through her. She always loved
this part, when they were helpless and absolutely in
her control.
Reaching up, she ran her hand, palm towards him across
his eyes, commanding him. "See with your heart."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles blinked his eyes, trying to clear the fog that
seemed to settle in his mind. Slowly, everything came
into focus...the grey floor, the equally drab walls
and Willow kneeling in front of him.
Willow?
He blinked his eyes, wondering if this was a mirage.
She couldn't be here...could she? His Willow. The more
he stared, the clearer she became, her body remaining.
"Willow?" he asked tentatively, afraid that this was a
figment of his lonely imagination.
She smiled that beatific smile that he had grown to
love over the past two years. He quickly ran his gaze
across her face, taking in the sparkling emerald eyes
that looked alive in the dark; her silken red hair and
the delicate porcelain of her face and he knew
instinctively that she was really truly there. And his
heart warmed.
"Willow." he exclaimed happily, cursing the bondage of
his arms which prevented him from enfolding her into
his embrace. How he wanted to hold her more than
anything, this exquisite creature that at this moment
was his reason for living. She was heaven, pure and
simple.
"Sssh..Giles." she soothed, running a cool hand down
his bruised face. He looked horrible. Battered and
bloody, he looked like he had been through the fight
of his life and barely survived.
"Willow." he breathed out, his body weak. "I thought
you were..."
She shook her head slightly. ""No, I'm here." She ran
her fingertips over his lips, closing her eyes briefly
as he leaned into her touch. "I'll never leave you."
His heart leapt at her words and he knew she wasn't
lying. Willow was incapable of deceit, her soul too
pure to ever be capable of evil. So, when she promised
that she'd never leave him, he knew she was telling
the truth.
But to be together. They had to leave before Angelus
came back. He could take whatever Angelus dished out
but he'd be damned if he'd let him harm Willow.
"We have to get out of here." he said urgently trying
to untie the ropes." We have to..."
"Giles.." she softly whispered as she lightly brushed
a kiss across his lips. He leaned in trying to deepen
it but she pulled away to his immense frustration.
"Did you tell Angel about the ritual?" Willow asked
concerned as she searched his eyes for some clarity,
some sign that he was here with her and not too far
gone from his hours with Angel.
Wild eyed, Giles replied. "No." he struggled
again,needing to break free and get them both to
safety. "We have to get Angel away from Acathla."
"Why?" she asked, her interest piqued. "Is he close to
finding out?"
"Later." Giles replied desperately, wishing that he
could make her understand how important it was for
them to leave. He shivered inwardly at the thought of
what Angelus would do if he found her with him. Not
what he would do to him but to Willow.
He'd rather die first.
Gazing intently at him, she pleaded. "Tell me what to
do."
Giles stared at her a part of him, a tiny part
wondering if he should tell her. He swore to himself
never to tell, knowing if he did all hell would break
loose. But, this was Willow. He trusted her
implicitly. Her loyalty to himself and the Slayer were
unending and that she would rather die than betray
Buffy, betray him. He could trust her with Acathla's
secret.
She watched closely wondering if she was getting
through to him. She needed to know how to unlock
Acathla, needed to know so that she could help him. If
she knew what the secret was, she could be the one to
stop the torture, stop the pain that Angelus was
inflicting on him. Didn't he realize that? Didn't he
care? She had to convince him of her sincere desire to
help otherwise Angelus would continue his sadistic
machinations. And then none of them would be free.
Moving closer to him, she breathed. "We'll have
everything we ever wanted. " she pressed her lips to
his, a whisper of a kiss. "Just tell me what to do."
She caressed his face, expending her breath around his
lips, teasing him gently. He closed his eyes, savoring
the feel of her on him. This was what he dreamt of in
the dark of night. What he could give himself freely
over to his secret desires, desires that he couldn't
express to her until now. Now, not only was she
offering a more friendly affection but a chance for
them to be together. His most desired dream was being
realized. All he had to do was tell her how to open
Acathla.
"We have to get Angel.." he said desperately leaning
towards her.
She smiled in anticipation. He was going to tell her.
"Angel is the key?"
He nodded resolutely. "His blood..he mustn't..."
"Ssh..." she whispered, not needing him to talk
anymore. She had what she wanted.
Pressing her lips to his, Willow began to kiss him
passionately, giving into this fiery emotion that had
suddenly infused her. Nipping and sucking, she thrust
her tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his.
She felt him responding to her kiss, could feel the
excited pulse pounding in his throat, smell the heady
scent of his blood and it thrilled her to the core. So
much so that her concentration slipped and the glamour
wore off, revealing her true visage.
Drucilla.
****
Roughly, Giles kissed her, putting all his pent up
desire into the kiss. He'd dreamt of this moment for
too long and he wasn't about to let it slip away.
He leaned into her more, grabbing her lips bruisingly,
absolute desperation in his kiss. He didn't want to
lose her for one moment, the connection between them
so powerful. She was his anchor of calm in the sea of
hell that he was in now. Her voice, her touch, her
kiss soothed his soul while at the same time ignited a
burn in him. He'd never felt more alive in his entire
life. Willow was his salvation.
***
"Uh...Drucilla?" Spike asked perturbed.
"Honey?" Angelus said, both vampires staring in
disbelief at the sight of Drucilla kissing the Watcher
passionately.
Drucilla reluctantly broke from Giles and turned to
face them, surprise in her features. Spike gently
said, "We are finished here."
Smiling wickedly, she preened. "Sorry, I got lost in
the moment."
**
Giles didn't feel Willow, didn't feel her sweet lips
upon his. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to
clear them.
No Willow.
Then suddenly, it hit him like a brick. Everything
came into focus and her words registered in his mind,
the voice recognizable to his ears.
It wasn't Willow.
It was Drucilla, the child-like insane vampiress who
had been kissing him, who he...
Oh God.
Acathla.
He smiled, one filled with regret and disbelief. He'd
done the one thing he swore not to do. Give the secret
of Acathla to Angelus. And through Drucilla he had.
He had betrayed the Watchers, mankind. And most
importantly, the people he cared about. Buffy..oh
hell..
'Buffy, I'm so sorry. I swore to protect you until my
last breath but now I just allowed yours to happen.'
he thought. Xander and Cordelia...whose carefree life
was now less than it should have been.
How could he? How did he become weak after the painful
hours of his torture? How could he let himself be
broken?
Closing his eyes, the image of his salvation, what had
been his reason for survival flared into his mind
clear as day.
Willow.
Willow was the one. She was the one who asked him,
begged him to tell her. And he did. Because he trusted
her, he loved her, he knew she would never tell
Angelus, never betray Buffy as well as him.
But she did. She did tell.
Giles shook his head vehemently, knowing that it
wasn't Willow but Drucilla who told. It was Drucilla
who disguised herself as Willow and let him believe
that everything would be all right, that they'd be
together, that..she wanted him.
That had been a lie too. Willow didn't really want
him, it was just a ploy of Drucilla's to get what she
wanted. His lonely heart eagerly willing to believe
her.
'What a fool, I am.' he thought.
If by some miracle he'd live, he thought about how he
was going to face Buffy, much less Willow.
Buffy..would she forgive him for betraying her, for
letting his weakness take over, letting it rule his
judgment briefly. He'd sworn to protect her, now he
left her vulnerable.
And Willow....
God, sweet Willow. How could he face her? After this,
how could he look at her square in the eye? He failed
her just as much if not more than Buffy.
His love, his memories he associated with her, now
they'd forever be a reminder of this horrible deed. No
longer a pleasure but a numbing pain that he hoped
beyond hope would pass with time. He hated the idea
that even the briefest memory of Willow would be
tainted in his mind by this living nightmare. It would
devalue her and their relationship if he let himself
think of her here.
But how was he going to stop that from happening?
Right now, fondest memory was of kissing her, giving
her his love through his kiss but that was poisoned
with the reality. Reality being, Drucilla not Willow
was the one and there was nothing he could do about
it. Nothing.
Not even in the place Willow where ruled majestically
could forget.
His heart.
* * *