__A Fool to Believe__
By Andrea
He didn't recognize me.
I stared point blank at him and he didn't even see me.
And to top it all off, he called me crazy!
Granted, he thought I was Faith, but
nevertheless....he didn't see!
I'm his Slayer. I've been his Slayer for almost 3
years and he couldn't tell the difference between me
and some dark-haired psycho. I might have as well been
a complete stranger standing before him, that's how
much he knew who I was.
And even when I told him all the things I knew about
him; Ethan, Olivia, and him and my mom having sex, my
mom calling him...what exactly is a stevedore? I
still have yet to look it up. Maybe I'll ask Will
tomorrow. She knows these types of things.
Anyway, I was rattling off faster than Chick Hearn at
a Laker game and he stood there. Like a statue,
immobile, nothing.
I thought I was going to have to whip out my
fingerprints and dental records for him to believe me,
that's how disbelieving he looked.
Did I mention he just stood there?
What hurts....what hurts the most is the fact that
when he was not himself, I was still able to recognize
him. Yet he couldn't do the same to me. And I wasn't
even a demon!
I brought this up to him and he just looked like I was
a fruitcake. Like I was missing a few accessories
short of an ensemble. I even told him to use his
intuition that I'd always relied on but .....nothing.
It was almost like talking to Styrofoam.
If it wasn't for Willow and her friend Tara, I'd be on
the next Mayflower out of here and on my way to spend
a fun filled hell at the Watcher's Compound. Which if
that happened, I was fully prepared to gnaw my own arm
off to escape.
Look, diary. Normally this wouldn't upset me so but
it..does. My Giles, My Watcher is supposed to protect
me, the Slayer, yet he couldn't tell the difference
between me and a deranged loony. How is that for
wrong? Can't even recognize your own Slayer? What kind
of Watcher is that?
'What am I writing?' Buffy thought throwing the pen
down on her desk before getting up to lie on her bed.
Flopping down on it, she began to think.
She knew she was being unfair. She knew that the
reason the whole thing bothered her, was less to do
with the fact that she was to be a Council capture and
more to do with what happened a few weeks ago. A few
major things that is.
A couple of weeks ago, Giles had turned into a demon
and she thought he was gone for good. When she'd found
out he was alive, she was so excited, so relieved.
But, something dawned on her as well.
When he had returned to normal Giles, he was lying
there half-naked, his body exposed to her. His hot to
trot body that is. She looked at him differently since
then. More like a man, less like a Giles entity.
But that wasn't the major thing.
No, the major thing was that when he was still a
demon, she had been ready to kill him, when she saw
his eyes. She saw his eyes and knew immediately that
it was Giles. That the creature she was ready to kill
two seconds ago was indeed her Giles.
That realization affected her more than she had
thought it would. She felt like she connected with him
in a major way, a way that only the two of them could
have.
Since that night, she'd spent more time with him than
usual. Training with him, having him help with her
schoolwork, little things that she might not have
normally done. She knew that if she'd show her
newfound feelings for him at full speed, he'd might
get a little suspicious. Or even worse, accuse her of
being under the influence of alcohol or even magic.
So, she decided her best course of action was to play
it cool. She still had strong feelings for Riley but
these new intense feelings for Giles were also
present. And she knew that if she didn't at least try
to make a go with Giles, she'd always be wondering if
she had missed out on a golden opportunity for
happiness.
But, now she wondered if she should still try.
The intense, warm feeling she felt at seeing, being
with Giles seemed to deflate. She thought that
something special had occurred between them that Demon
night, but now... he didn't recognize her.
'Maybe I'm a fool.' she muttered to herself, as she
laid there. Maybe she was an idiot for thinking that
her and Giles had a special connection.
'Hell, he couldn't even figure out that it was me in
Faith's body. What kind of connection do we have
anyway?' Buffy opened her eyes and gazed upwards. 'Was
I a fool to believe that Giles and I could ever have
something between us?'
* * *