__A Compassionate Philosophy__
By Andrea



Los Angeles:
 

The door of the agency opened and he walked in.Looking around, he spotted a familiar face. She wasbusy locking up the windows, probably getting ready toclose up for the night.

Not wanting to startle her, he lightly rapped on the desk to get her attention. Hearing the sound, she turned around and gasped.She couldn't believe he was here.She hadn't seen him since graduation, when they defeated the Mayor and assumed that she wouldn't have ever again. Seeing him standing there, she realized how much she actually missed him. Smiling brightly, she said, "Hello, Giles."

"Hello, Cordelia," he answered, giving her a genuine smile. "I hope I didn't startle you."

"No, I was just locking up for the night." she walked over to the desk. "So, what brings you to L.A, Giles? What's the Hellmouth's problem, now?"

He raised an eyebrow." Why do you assume that there's a problem?"

" Right. Like your here 'cause your such a big Jayne Mansfield fan and it's been your life long dream to see her pink house." She rolled her eyes."C'mon, Giles. You wouldn't have made the trip unless it was necessary. So, what's up?"

He picked up a glass paperweight and turned it over. Setting it down, he answered,"Well, it seems the University is overrun with commandos."

"Commandos?"

He nodded. "Buffy saw them on Halloween and also about a week ago. She mentioned they were dressed up in S.W.A.T attire, masks and carrying weapons. She thinks that something is not right and I tend to agree."

She nodded. "So, why are you here?"

He looked down. "Well, I came to see Angel. I wanted to ask him if he'd ever seen any activity of this nature during his time in Sunnydale." He glanced at his watch. "I went by his place and he wasn't there. So, I came here. Do you know where he is?"

She shook her head. "Nope. But, since it's dark he's probably out trying to find us some new clients...so to speak."

"Ah, I see. Do you have any idea when he will be back?"

"Well, he usually checks in every hour or so. He kind of likes to keep Doyle and I informed. And he usually goes back to his place or sometimes comes here."

Giles frowned. "Most likely I wouldn't be able to reach him until a couple of hours from now?" she nodded. "That's just bloody great."

"Look, why don't you come back to my place to wait. We can hangout,catch up on things." she offered, grabbing her purse and steering him towards the door.

Again he raised an eyebrow. "Hang out? Catch up on things?"

She shrugged sheepishly."Why not? Besides, that's better than me saying what I really needed was a ride home."

"I knew there had to be an ulterior motive for your generousity, Cordelia." he teased as he waited while she locked the door.

Leading him down the stairs, she turned to face him. "Hey! I'm generous. To a fault." she pushed open the door. "And I meant it. I do want to catch up on....oh my GOD! You still have it!"

He led her to the Citroen. "What?"

"That." she pointed to his car. "You know, the Englishmen's answer to America's pinto." she shook her head. "I can't believe it still works."

Opening his door, he paused, "Well, you know Cordelia if this bothers you, you can always find another ride." he smiled sweetly at her.

"Fine, I'll get in." she opened her door and hopped in.

As Giles started the car, he asked, "Didn't you have a car, Cordelia? As I recall, it was a rather fine automobile."

"Yeah, it was. Until Daddy decided to play 'Hide-and-Go Seek' with his taxes. " she pointed, "Turn left here. Well, anyway, Mr. Repo Man came by one day and next thing I knew my car was history. So, now I bus."

Giles burst out laughing. She turned to him,slightly peeved. "What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to imagine Cordelia Chase on a bus." he chuckled softly, "Quite a sight."

"Ha,Ha. Very funny." she pointed to her building.

"Here. Park here."

Pulling up to the curb, he put the car in park. It made a slight choking sound like it was on its last breath. Giles blushed embarrassed and Cordelia cracked up. Getting out of the car, he followed her up to her apartment. Unlocking the door, she gestured with her hand for him to come inside. "Make yourself at home." she offered as she dropped her things on an end table. Walking over to the kitchen, she asked," Would you like something to drink? Or eat?"

"Umm....yes, to drink actually. What do you have?" he asked as he took a good look at her place. It was spacious and airy and the furniture seemed brand new.'Angel must pay her well' he mused.

Opening the fridge, she yelled out, "We have orange juice..uh..Gatorade, milk...iced tea..." she closed the door and went to her cupboard. "Uh....I have Taster's Choice for coffee, if you'd like?" She waited expectantly for his answer.

"I'll just have iced tea, I suppose." he replied,as he sat down on her couch.

"Okay. Ice?" she turned to him. He nodded.

 As she was preparing the drinks, she glanced over to him periodically. 'Something was different,' she thought. He looked more relaxed, less stuffy than normal. It dawned on her what was different. His clothes! No tweed suit, no ten layers of clothing.Now it was just a casual pants, no tie and light jacket. He looked good. 'What am I saying?' she thought.

Giles looked up and caught her staring at him. He smiled, "What?"

Snapping out of her brief reverie, she responded, "Hmm? Nothing." she picked up the glasses and made her way over to him. " So, Giles I guess everyone else was busy today,huh?" she handed him the glass.

Taking her offer, he answered, "Thank you." he sipped his tea, "Why do you ask that?"

"Because why else would you have come? You and I both know why you wouldn't come to L.A voluntarily, unless you were the only person left."

He gave her a tiny smirk. "And why is that?" he asked as he sipped his tea.

"Because you hate Angel."

At her words, Giles practically choked on his tea. When he finally recovered, he said, "Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Giles give me some credit here. I'm not Mrs. Magoo. I can see what's going on around me." she took a sip as well, " Everyone could see, well except Buffy."

Giles sat there in shock, not knowing what to say. Cordelia noticing his silence, continued. "I don't know why you're shocked. I mean, it was expected especially after...you know."

He took off his glasses,rubbing his eyes. "I didn't know it was obvious."

"It wasn't really. You never mentioned it, but anytime Angel was around, you'd get all tense and silent. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you were uncomfortable around him." he started to say something, but she continued. "What I don't understand is why you didn't just kick his butt out. If I were you, which at the time thank God I wasn't 'cause you were still wearing tweed...yech. Anyway, the minute I saw him, he'd have been Angel dust." she sighed,exasperatedly, "But, because of Buffy, you kept it all inside, you let him live then you were forced to work with him, which you hated, until he left." she turned to face him, a knowing smile on her face, "Boy, you must have been doing backflips the day you found out he was leaving, right?"

"Tact is still not one of your stronger suits, is it Cordelia?" he gritted.

She shrugged impatiently. "I'll say it one more time, Giles. Tact is just not saying true stuff. And if you can't say what's on your mind, then why bother?"

"I suppose, in a way, you make a valid point," he said, causing her to flash a grin. "I admit..I,"he paused, "..on a personal level, my feelings towards Angel are not amiable. But on a business level, he has been useful at times, and I can put aside my personal feelings to work with him."

"Fair enough." she looked at him thoughtfully, "You know, he's been good. He hasn't gone..grr or anything."

He nodded in understanding and relief. "I'm glad to hear that, Cordelia." He took another sip of his tea, before saying, "Let's move on to happier subjects, shall we?" she nodded. "So, how is your acting career coming along?"

"Hmm...so-so. Not as great as I thought." she leaned back on the couch, " I've been to a few auditions. Mostly for sorority types, rich girl types..you know those kind." he nodded. "But, I did do a couple of commercials though."

"Really? Which ones?"

"One was for Spree. It's a type of fruity candy. Then, I did another for those telephone packages. You know, the 1-800 kind, it was filmed over at UCLA. I did a couple more not so memorable ones .." she looked down into her glass, "I know it's not exactly Shakespeare but they pay well and it fills up the blank area under 'experience' on a resume so that's a plus."

"Well, I'm not worried,Cordelia. Once you set your mind to something, there's nothing than can stop you." She glanced up at him surprised. He chuckled. "Now, who's the one that's shocked."

"No, no not shocked. Just surprised, that's all. I just never thought..." she trailed off, while he held up his hand to shush her.

"Cordelia..." he paused, " I'm not 'Mr. Magoo'." She smiled briefly, " I do notice things. And one of the things I noticed about you over the years, is that you've always been independent and strong. I mean, moving to Los Angeles by yourself, to start a career in one of the toughest professions out there takes a vast amount of courage. I admire you for that."

She didn't know what to say. She'd always thought he considered her a flake and tolerated her because of Xander. But to know that he admired her was surprising and wonderful.

Giving him a genuine smile, she replied, "Thank you, Giles. That means alot coming from you." He smiled back, giving her a toothy grin, which gave her a warm feeling. Clearing her throat, she asked, "So, uhh....how's life in Sunnydale?"

"Fine. Buffy, Willow and Oz are at the University, while Xander is unemployed at the moment." he answered.

"And you? How's your life as a 'Gentleman of Leisure'?" she grinned.

"Wonderful, thank you. The quiet time by myself is a breath of fresh air." he looked at her curiously, "And you Ms.Chase, how did you know I was a 'Gentleman of Leisure'?"

She gave him a smug smile. "I have my ways." he raised an eyebrow. " No, really, Oz told me when he came down here to give us the ring." He nodded and she continued, " Which was a blessing since he saved Angel, Doyle and I from Spike. Did you know Spike was down here?"

He nodded resolutely. "Yes, I did."

"Gods, that guy just doesn't give up. He kept going on and on about how Drucilla left him and how it was Angel and Buffy's fault, blah, blah, blah.." she sipped more of her tea, before continuing, "Then, he proceeds to tell us how he has this blond vampire chick back in Sunnydale who adores and worships him. Please! What girl, even a vampire girl would go for him?" she turned to him.

At her words, Giles blanched. He hoped she hadn't seen him,but she did. Frowning, she asked, "Giles, what's the matter?"

"Nothing." he replied, not very convincing.

"Oh, no. Don't give me that. I'm not Mrs. Magoo, remember? I saw your face. Why did you frown when I mentioned Spike's girlfriend? Is it because it's someone I know?"

"Cordelia, I think we should drop it, okay?" he told her, his voice taking on a firm tone. "It's not important."

"The hell it isn't! " she sat up straighter and glared at him. "Look, Giles I know you. You wouldn't have made that face and then insist on dropping a subject unless it wasn't important. Tell me!" she looked at him, her face softening, "Please?"

"Are you sure?" he asked,his voice holding a tone of question and concern in it.

"Yes." she replied firmly.

"Harmony." he whispered.

"What?" she didn't catch his whispered response.

"It's Harmony. Spike's new girlfriend is Harmony."
 

Giles waited for her response. She just sat there in disbelief. After a while, when she still hadn't said anything, he asked. "Cordelia?"

She shook her head. "No. It's a mistake. Harmony could never be a vampire." She got up and started to pace. "It must have been another blonde."

Giles strode over to her. "Cordelia...." he grabbed her arm, turned her to look at him. "It was her. Willow, Oz.. the three of us saw her."

"That's why no one's seen her. " She loosened her arm from his grip. "When I talked to Aura last, she mentioned, she hadn't seen Harmony in ages.." She began to pace. Giles hung back, watching her. " When did she turn?" she asked him.

"I'm not sure. I suspect it was probably Graduation," he offered but she was barely listening. She walked back to the couch. "God, when Aura and I were talking, we were making fun of her..." she trailed off as tears started to take over. Covering her face with her hands, she cried silently. Giles came over and sat down, resting a hand on her back.

After a few moments, she lifted her head." I don't know why I'm crying. I mean..Harmony and I haven't been talking since way before Graduation." she sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I didn't even consider her my friend anymore..really. And now I'm blubbering like I just lost my best friend."

"She was,wasn't she?" Giles asked, softly, causing tears to well up in her eyes once again. Putting his hand gently on her back again, he asked, "Tell me about her. How long have you known her?"

"Since preschool. The first day, we were both wearing the same jeweled headband, so we naturally played together." she sniffled. "We used to call ourselves the 'Jewel Girls'."

"'Jewel Girls'?"

She nodded. "There were these two Barbies. One was Jeweled Barbie, who was blonde. And the other was her best friend, named Whitney, who had brown hair. Their signature was that everything they had was jeweled. Necklaces, earrings, even their outfits were sparkly. " She grabbed a Kleenex." They were our favorites. And since we looked liked them and loved to play with jewelry, we called ourselves that."

"I see."

She looked at him. "You probably think that's stupid but we had fun.... What did we know?" She blew her nose. "Our parents loved it though. That we were friends, I mean. Same 'social' circles, same country clubs, parties and we even went on vacations together."

Giles sat there quietly and let her talk. He knew that she needed it in order to recover from the loss of her friend.

She continued, "So, we were best friends. We talked about clothes, boys, and who did what and to whom. We loved to gossip and we were so girly-girly. Tea parties, dress-up. Gods, did we like to dress-up." She turned to face him, her face brightening at the memory. "One time, after we begged and begged our parents to let us have a dress-up party, they finally agreed. We invited all our friends to my house and we played dress-up. The whole works! Beads, high heels, furs, and fancy dresses. Then, our parents hired some people to serve us like we were at our own grown-up party, with grown-up food. " she smiled at the memory.

"Sounds like the two of you were quite the party." he said.

"Yeah, we were." She looked at her hands. "That was the thing about Harmony. We always had fun together. That's why I liked being friends with her, but we weren't the type of best friends that Willow and Xander are."

"What do you mean?" he asked softly.

"Harmony is not the person you could call at 3:00 in the morning to discuss your deep personal problems with. I guess to be fair, I wasn't that type either." She glanced at him, "Willow and Xander were just...you know, the type of friends you knew would do anything for each other. Their the type you COULD call at three in the morning." Her voice went soft, "I always wanted that kind of best friend. Harmony and I weren't like that. I liked her, we had fun and it was cool but.."

"But what?"

She shrugged. " I don't know. It's just...I didn't think it was a problem until I got to High School. I noticed she always agreed with me, which was nice in a way, you know to have an ally. But.." Her voice got higher and she turned to Giles her hands spread, "I mean, if I said the sky was yellow when it really wasblue, she'd agree with me. It got on my nerves sometimes. But you see, we were friends for so long that I tried to look past that,but then when I started to date Xander, I realized they were all the same. Sheep!" She reached for her glass, taking a sip. "So sheepy that you could clothe a small country with all the wool they had. Then, after the Xander fiasco, I wanted to be her friend again, I'm not sure why, but I still wanted to." She looked at him, in confusion, "What I don't understand is my feelings about her haven't changed. I still think she's sheepy. But, for some reason I can't fathom, knowing that she's a vampire...hurts.." She trailed off,as tears flooded over.

Giles pulled Cordelia to him and held her, not saying anything, just holding her. After her tears subsided somewhat, Cordelia pulled back to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Giles. I...what has gotten into me? I'm crying more than an actress on a soap opera." she sniffed.

Handing her a handkerchief, he stated. "Cordelia, don't apologize." He brushed back some hair from her face. "Listen to me. Remember Ethan Rayne?"

"Isn't he the guy who helped you kill that guy that time?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yes. You're never going to forget that are you?"

"Nope." She gave him a tiny smile.

Returning it, he said, "Well, anyway, Ethan Rayne, at one time or another, was my best friend. Like you and Harmony, Ethan and I used to have some wild times. Together we were unstoppable. Fun, randy, carefree, powerful...It was wonderful." he said,fondly.

"But?" she asked curiously.

"But, my relationship with Ethan was much like yours with Harmony." He leaned back on the couch. "He wasn't the type that you could tell your personal problems to. Self-centered, irresponsible beyond sense, made horrible decisions."

"What do you think of him now?"

"I think he's an insufferable bastard who did unscrupulous things for his own benefit." he stated, his voice softening. "But, if he turned into a vampire, I'd have to say it would saddened me tremendously."

"It would?" she asked, skepticism in her voice.

"Yes. Because, the two of you, Ethan and I were friends at one time. Best Friends. And whether like it or not, I shared some great memories with him. Memories that I cherish and will always stay with me." he told her, wondering if she was understanding. "Just like you and Harmony."

Cordelia sat there quietly for awhile taking in what Giles had said. She knew he was right. No matter what had happened between the two of them, she still cared for Harmony. Like he said, that would, nor could ever change.

Speaking softly, she muttered. "I don't think I could stake her, Giles. I'm not sure I could do it."

"I know." he replied, his voice compassionate. "But, I believe that you could, if put in a position where you had to defend yourself."

"Thanks." she replied, gratefully.

"Besides Cordelia, she's not that powerful. Even though, she is Spike's girlfriend, from what I've seen, she's not that much of a threat." he said, reassuringly.

"Be thankful for small things." she exclaimed, giving him a half smile. "Well, this has been a tearjerker of a conversation, if I ever saw one. I think you said you wanted to talk about happier subjects. This was about as happy as a Daria cartoon."

He smiled brightly. "Well, next time, we'll try to stick to topics of a more cheerful nature. Like the weather or..cars."

"Like how come you don't have a car made in this decade?" she teased.

"Cordelia..." he uttered, menacingly.

"I'm kidding, Giles. Just kidding." she grinned at him. They sat there grinning at each other when the phone rang.

Picking it up, she said, "Hello? Oh, Angel..I'm glad you called. Giles is here to see you." He sat there patiently, wondering what Angel was saying. "Uhunh. He has some Hellmouth scaries to discuss. Are you at the agency? You are? Okay, I'll send him over, bye."

He stood up. "So, Angel is at the agency? I guess I'd better go."

"I guess so." She stood as well and walked him to the door. Opening it, she said, "I'm glad to see you, Giles. It was good talking to you. Thanks."

He genuinely smiled. "The pleasure was mine, Cordelia." He shifted a bit, before continuing, "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me. Anytime."

She grinned shyly. "I will. Oh! Wait!" She ran to  her end table and picked up a pen and paper. "Here's my number." She scribbled on the page, then tore it off. "Call me if the bright lights of Sunnydale become too much for you and you want to be a 'Gentleman of Leisure' down here."

Taking the paper, he said warmly, "Don't worry, I will." He gave her a smile that left her slightly tingly. Leaning towards her, he kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, Cordelia. I will be seeing you." he told her, then turned and left, leaving her staring after him.

Shaking her head, she closed the door and walked back to the couch. Plopping down, she spoke aloud.

"Wow! Who ever thought Giles was such a hottie?"

* * *