__Soul Decision__
By Amy B
All was well in Angel investigations. Angel had returned to sleeping
normally after all that Darla business had been cleared up, Gunn
appeared when he was needed and Wesley and Cordelia still argued
24/7. They had all just returned from killing one nasty Daets'Mub demon that had been terrorizing a local bar.
"That" Gunn started "was one nasty beast. I thought I'd seen it all before I hooked up with y'all. All I had to worry 'bout was vamps. Now I got ugly demons comin' at me spewin' goo and breathin' fire!"
"Yeah, well, at least it didn't ruin your brand new top!" replied Cordelia, "that top was top of the line, one in a million, the best…"
"We get the picture, Cordelia." It was Angel who broke the argument between them up as he did so regularly nowadays. "Wes, what do you think? Settle this for us will you. Gunn thinks he's worse off cos he's seeing new things now. I personally think that's great, new things are always good. I, on the other hand, just lost something new and dare I say, expensive. Now who's worse off, me, or `homeboy' over there?"
"What? Yes, you look fine Cordelia" Wesley drawled. The young ex-watcher was slouched in his usual chair just starring in to space, looking at what seemed like nothing.
"See, what did I tell you? Thanks Wes, you're…" she stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at Wesley, suddenly realising what he had just said. "You have no idea what I actually asked you do you? Are you feeling ok, you were very quite in the car on the way back."
"Hmm, yes, I'm fine Cordelia, just tired, that's all. I think I'm going to go and have a rest for a while." As he finished his sentence, Wesley disappeared out the door and closed it behind him.
"That's really not like English. I mean, he does at lot a work round here, but I've never seen him look THAT rough before," said, Gunn who, along with Angel had kept quiet so far.
"I know, maybe I should go talk to him, he's probably at his apartment," said Angel.
"I really don't think that would be a good idea," replied Cordelia.
"Why not, do you not think I'm caring enough?" asked Angel.
"No, it's just that it's 3.30 in the afternoon, and as you've put it many a time, you don't really tan well," retorted Cordelia. "Look, I'll swing by his place and see what's up, ok?"
Both men nodded and Cordelia grabbed her coat and made for the front
door of the hotel.
"I hope he's ok," said Gunn lightly.
"Me too" said Angel "me too."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Cordelia took Angel's car and sped off down the highway to Wesley's
apartment. It wasn't much, but it was nice, cosy, intimate. She pulled up and left the car in the lot, remembering to lock it this
time. She didn't want it to get stolen, again. She traipsed up the
stairs to Wes's forth floor apartment and started to bang on the
door. There was no answer so Cordelia gently turned the handle, and
found that, to her surprise, it was open. [That's strange, Wes is
usually so careful about that kind of thing, especially after Faith]
Cordelia thought to herself.
"Wes, you in here?" she enquired. Again there was no answer so she continued into his apartment. Still, she saw no one, so quietly she went into his bedroom. The curtains were shut and all the lights were turned off, so it took her eyes a while to adjust to the dark.
Gradually, she was able to make out the figure of Wes asleep on the bed. [My god, he looks… stop it Cordelia, you should be over that. Those feelings should have been gone a long time ago!] She thought to herself. As she stood and watched him, she started to notice things she'd never seen before. There was a scar on his neck, probably from Faith, how his long lashes cast a shadow over high cheek bones, that the beginnings of a beard were visible late in the day. [How can he look SO much like a man, and still so sweet and innocent?]
"Cordy, is that you?" Wes asked sleepily.
"Yeah, it's me Wes. You left in kind of a hurry so I just wanted to see if everything was ok. Is everything ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just tired that's all," he replied, "How did you get in here?"
"You left the door unlocked, I kinda let myself in. Is that ok?" He nodded slowly and smiled at his friend. [Oh, god] he thought [she looks so beautiful. Why can't I get myself to tell her that I still have feelings for her? What's the point, she's probably forgotten she ever had feelings for me].
"Would you like something? Tea? Coffee?" He asked.
"Tea would be good, defiantly not coffee, not the way you make it anyway!" she retorted. [Why do I always do that? Why do I always insult him even after he's been so good to me?] He got out of his bed and made his way to the kitchen. When she saw him, Cordy had to remember to breathe. [Since when did Wes get a body?!] All he was wearing was a pair of boxer shorts. She always made jokes about his thin figure, and while he was thin, he was no way skinny. His
shoulders were actually quite broad, his chest looked strong, and she
knew his arms were strong, many a time she'd been held in them during
a vision. She followed him out into the kitchen and sat down on the
couch. When he came back out, he had a robe on and Cordelia found
herself feeling disappointed.
"There you go" he said, handing her a mug, "just the way you
like it." He sat down next to her on the couch and quietly began to
sip his tea.
"Are you sure you're ok, Wes? I mean, you've been awfully quiet lately. You spend more time, if that is actually possible, with your books and you just seem really, well, distant."
"You noticed huh? I didn't think anyone had."
"I don't think the guys noticed, but I did. You've always been so good to me Wes, you all have, but you especially. How could I not notice that something was up?" She looked deep into his eyes and saw something in them she hadn't seen in a long time, fear.
"It's just that, well, you know I told you about my father before? Well, it's just that..." Wes broke down and Cordelia thought he was going to cry. She couldn't bear to see him like this. She took his hand in hers and looked him in the eyes.
"Go on Wes, I'm here, I won't let anything hurt you."
"Is not that, it's just that, well, I got a letter from my mother this last week. My father died a few weeks ago. It wasn't painful; he passed in his sleep with his family around him, all except me. She told me that the last thing he said was to tell me that he loved me dearly and that he never meant to hurt me, in any way. I was his son, and he never forgot that. He always seemed so disappointed in me, especially when I was fired from the Council after I failed with Buffy and Faith. When I went back home, he practically wouldn't speak to me he was so disappointed, I didn't know how to face him," he tailed off. "I'm sorry, I'm boring you."
"No, Wes, it's ok, you can go on if you want. I'm here for you." She said looking deep into his blue-grey eyes that changed colour with mood. This was one of those times where all the blue had gone, leaving them stormy grey.
"It's just, well, I never got to say goodbye and even though we never got on, I still loved him. All the people I loved or love never see to love me back or die before I can tell them. I wish I could change that."
"Wes, I'm sure you've father would have been very proud of you if he saw you now. I mean look what you've grown into. You're brave, honest, courageous, handsome." She stopped suddenly realising what she had just said, hoping that he hadn't noticed what she had just said.
"You really think I'm brave?" he said, choosing to ignore the last thing that she had just said. [It was probably just a slip of the tongue, she would have said the same if it were Angel or Gunn, she's just trying to make me feel better.]. Another voice in his head suddenly started to emerge. [What if she did mean it, what if she does still have feelings for me, god I wish she did.]
"Yes, Wes, I do, you've grown so much over these past few months. You're nothing like the guy I knew back in Sunnydale, you're so much better." She wanted to tell him, she wanted so much to tell him. To tell him that she still had feelings for him. "You see Wes, the thing is that, well…"
"Yes, Cordelia, what is the thing?" He could see something in her eyes that he hadn't seen since the night of the prom. [It can't be. No way could she still have feelings for me. I still have them for her, but she's young and beautiful, she wouldn't want me.]
He had to make a decision, one of the hardest ones he would ever have
to make, should he tell her, or just leave it and risk the possibility of never holding her in his arms. His heart was saying
go for it, but his head still was not sure.
"The thing is that.." she couldn't bring herself to say it. She couldn't bear the thought of him rejecting her. [I'm so much younger than he is, what if he doesn't want me anymore?] While she was looking into his eyes, Wesley's head made up its mind; he was going to go for it. If he didn't he would regret it for the rest of his life.
"Cordelia, what I'm about to do may come as a shock to you and if you want me to stop just say" while he was saying this, he could see a look of puzzlement come over her face, but he couldn't wait any longer. Slowly he leaned in and gently placed his lips against hers. The warmth of her breath felt so good against his lips. He gently ran his tongue along the edge of her lips and then in the gap in between them, silently asking for permission to enter. To his joy, and slightly surprise, she opened her mouth almost immediately granting him permission. He slipped his tongue into her mouth running it along her teeth. Her tongue then started battling back, giving as good as she got and finally slipped her tongue into his mouth running it along the edge of his teeth and then along his lips. After, what seemed to both of them like forever, the two mouths parted reluctantly.
"That wasn't quite what I had expected you to do," she finally said.
"Oh. Well. Look if you just want to forget that it ever happened..."
"Why would I want to do that? That was one of the most amazing kisses that I've ever had in my life. Defiantly an improvement on last time!" she said with a slight giggle in her voice.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." With that, he leant back towards
her. This time though, she did not lean in towards him. "What is
it, what's wrong?"
"It's not you, it's just, what about Virginia? Aren't you
still seeing her?"
"Theoretically, yes."
"Theoretically?"
"Yes. You see, we were talking last week, and although we are attracted to each other, we don't see any future. She's, well, she still has feelings for Rick and when she told me this, I felt that it was only fair to tell her that I too had feelings for someone else."
"Who?" She whispered playfully.
"Who do you think?" He replied just as quietly.
With that, Cordelia felt that there were no longer any boundaries between them.
Wesley saw this in her eyes and leaned in towards her again. He had intended it to be as gentle as last time, but once he felt her lips touch his, passion and instinct took control. His tongue immediately demanded entry and she immediately gave him entry. Instead of a gentle exploration, this kiss became a frenzy of passion and months of wanting. He reached up to his face and removed his glasses and tossed them onto the couch behind him. Suddenly, Cordelia began to feel like his robe was an impediment between them. As she slowly moved her hand underneath his robe and onto his chest and over his heart he felt himself take a sharp intake of breath. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had touched him like this, mentally or physically.
Her other hand then slid up his neck and into his short, brown hair.
He was amazed at how forward she was being. As it was now obvious to him that this was what they both wanted he allowed himself to be equally as forward. He put one hand on her hip and other one at the back of her head. Again the couple had to come up for air.
She then realised that he had removed his glasses, something she had never registered him do before. "Has anyone ever told you that you look SO sexy without your glasses?" She enquired.
"Hmm, let me think about that…no." He said quickly.
"I'm surprised. You really do have lovely eyes," she said looking into them longingly.
"Well I'm not the only one," he replied mirroring the desire in her eyes, in his. Again, his mouth came crashing down onto hers, his hands roaming free over her, and hers over him. Slowly they fell back onto the couch and their explorations of each other continued.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gunn reached Angel's door and knocked.
"Who is it?" Angel asked sleepily.
"It's me, Gunn," he replied. "I've got something I really need to
show you."
"OK, I'm coming." Angel said as he made his way out of his room. Angel followed the younger man down the stairs into the reception area of the hotel. When pointed from the bottom of the stairs to the desk, where Wesley and Cordelia were still in each other's arms, he
couldn't help but smile. It was obvious that the pair of them cared
deeply about each other but they were both to stubborn to admit it to
themselves and more importantly, each other.
"What do you think we should do?" Angel whispered to Gunn, still smiling.
"I don't know, do we leave them, or interrupt them and have ourselves some fun." He replied, equally as quietly.
"Well, I think they're having fun, so why shouldn't we?"
Angel said with an evil glint in his eyes. "Let's go for it." Gunn
followed Angel down to the reception floor and stood to the side of
the couple so they still could not be seen.
"So this is what you call research is it?" Wes and Cordelia pulled
away from each other abruptly. They had had no idea that Gunn and Angel had been watching them for however long they had been standing there.
"We, umm, Wes had something on his eye." Said Cordelia quickly.
"Yes that's right, something on my eye. Thanks for that, I think it's
gone now." Wes said, agreeing with Cordelia.
"Looks like you got something else off of him as well, Cordy," said Gunn, as Cordelia's eyes followed Gunn's to Wesley's shirt that lay in a puddle on the floor. "Look, you don't have to lie to us, it's obvious that you two care a lot about each other and we're happy for you, right Angel?"
"Right. You two deserve each other. You both know nearly everything about each other so you don't have to hide things, like your jobs. Plus, you're already friends."
"Really, Angel that's great, thank you so much," said Cordelia, as she ran towards Angel and gave him a huge hug. "Yeah, it's fine. Can you just do me one favour Wes?"
"Sure."
"Put your shirt back on. Neither me or Gunn have any desire to see you like that." Asked Angel as he headed back up the stairs and Gunn went out of the door.
"No problem," Wesley said sheepishly as he bent down and picked up his shirt and slipped it back on. With that, Wesley walked back to Cordelia and put his arms around her. "See, I told you they would be OK with it."
"I know, I just didn't really want them to find out like that. I was hoping we could tell them when we were ready."
"Me too, but they know now and they're fine with it. Even if they weren't I wouldn't care cos I love you." He replied as he kissed her gently on the top of her head.
"You really are perfect, do you know that?"
"There's no such thing as perfect, but for me, you're as close as anything could ever get." He leaned back in towards her but as she did, her hands quickly reached for her head.
"Vision!" Wes instinctively reached for the painkillers in her desk while shouting: "Angel!"
Angel and Gunn were just reaching Angel's door when they heard Wesley's shout. Both men turned abruptly and ran back down the stairs to the Hyperion's reception. When they reached the bottom,
they saw Wesley holding Cordelia in his arms as she sipped on some
water.
"What is it? What did you see?" Asked Angel.
"It was…oh Angel, it was horrible. There was so much pain, so much pain," replied Cordelia who laid her head on Wesley's shoulder and began to cry.
"Where Cordy, where was this pain? I need to know," asked Angel again.
Cordelia looked up slowly. "Sunnydale." She answered quietly. "Buffy, Willow, Xander, all of them, they need our help, now."
"Right, ok. Let's go." Angel sounded less confident now.
Both Wesley and Cordelia knew that when Buffy was involved, Angel was
different. He still needed her and they both knew that. As Angel was about to exit out of the door, Wesley called him back.
"Angel, wait."
"Why? Cordy said they needed our help now, we have to go now."
"And may I ask how you intend to get there?" Wesley enquired.
"We have these things Wes, called cars, generally, they take
us places we want to go."
Wesley could tell by the tone of his voice that Angel was worried, and that did not happen very often.
"Yo, Angel man," said Gunn. "Let Wes and Cordy take your car
cos it's 11.30am and you have an open top car. You can ride with me
in the truck."
"Ok, whatever, lets just go. Now."
Wesley and Cordelia exited through the front door after grabbing Angel's keys while Angel, with a sheet over his head, and Gunn exited through the back to Gunn's truck.
Wesley and Cordelia jumped into Angel's black, open top car and started it up.
"We've got to get there quickly," Wesley said frantically.
"I know. Wes, they were all in so much pain, if we don't get there…"
"Don't worry, we'll get there. We'll get there. Have you got any idea what was causing all this pain?"
"No. I didn't se what it was, all I know is that it's bad, very bad. We have to help them."
"And we will, don't worry luv, we will."
Both Gunn and Angel sat in silence in Gunn's truck. Gunn knew bits about Angel's relationship with Buffy, but not everything, and he sensed this wasn't the time to pry. Nearly 3 hours had passed and they were approaching Sunnydale.
"Yo Angel, we're nearly there."
"What? Yes, good."
"Where `bouts are we heading here?"
"I spoke to Wesley, he said that Giles has opened a store on the corner of 38th and 5th, he said he'd meet us there."
"Fine, it'll take about 30 minutes to get there."
"Fine."
"Where did you tell Angel we would meet them?" Cordelia asked Wesley.
"Giles's shop. He's brought the old magic shop on 38th and 5th and I said we'd meet them there."
"Fine, that sounds pretty good to me. Do you think he's worked anything out?"
"I wouldn't think so, that was a great performance you put on, he didn't suspect a thing. Gunn's keeping an eye on him too."
"Yeah, I know. I was great, wasn't I."
"As always."
When Gunn and Angel arrived at the Magic Box, Wesley and Cordelia were just going into the shop.
"They're here." Wesley whispered gently to Cordelia.
"And the prize for being observant goes to…" She whispered back sarcastically.
"Very funny," he replied, along with a playful push.
"Come on, let's get inside," Cordelia said as she led him into the
shop by the hand.
Angel instinctively grabbed for the blanket on the seat next to him
and covered himself with it. He quickly jumped out of the door of
the truck and ran for the door of the magic shop where Wesley was
holding the door open for him. Angel immediately headed out of the
doorway and threw off the blanket.
"What's happening, what's going on?" Angel stammered quickly. "I'm afraid you've been had Angel" said Giles as he appeared from behind the counter where he was previously out of sight of the vampire.
"There's nothing going on to be worried about, we just need your help, that's all."
"Help?" Angel replied with an inquisitive tone on his voice.
"Yes, help. You see, well, you know that it is Buffy's birthday tomorrow, and, well with Riley leaving and all, we thought it would be good for her to see you?" Willow explained.
"But why didn't you just ask?" He inquired.
"That would be my idea," explained Cordelia. "As you seem to be extra broody at the moment, we thought it would be better to trick you. Plus we know your kind of touchy when it comes to Buffy and Riley."
"Yeah, I REALLY didn't like that guy." Angel said with a hint of a
grudge in his voice.
"Yo, yo. Young black man in the house not knowing what is going on." Piped up Gunn as he had been standing in the doorway watching proceedings.
"Ah, yes. Gunn, this is Willow, Xander, Giles and Anya. I'm sorry," he said to Tara. "I don't believe we've met." Wesley started.
"My name's Tara."
"…And Tara. I'm Wesley by the way, this is Cordelia and this is Gunn." He finished.
"Nice to meet you folks finally. I've heard some stories bout you guys!" Gunn explained.
"Really, what kind of stories…?" Xander asked.
"Well…." Gunn started.
"I'm sure we can hear all some time, but at this moment, Buffy is coming, so Angel, you should make yourself scarce." Giles said.
"Sure, I'll go round the back."
Just as Angel reached the back door, Buffy came in the front one.
"Hey, guys! Cordy? Is that you?" Buffy ran towards Cordelia and hugged her. "What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Buffy! Well, me and Wes thought we'd come down and see you all as things are pretty slow at our end."
Cordelia caught the end of Gunn's forced cough. "Oh, yeah, and this
is Gunn. He works with us now."
"Nice, to meet you Gunn." Said Buffy politely
"You too, I've heard some crazy stuff `bout what goes on down here, thought I'd finally come and check it out for myself," explained Gunn.
"Anyway, we've had a long trip, we were gonna go to a hotel and get some rest if that's OK. Could we get together later and reminisce?" said Cordelia.
"That would be great. But, you can't stay in a hotel Cordy, you can stay with me, Wes, you can stay with Giles and I'm sure it would be okay for Gunn to stay with Xander and Anya. Xan, is that Okay?" asked Buffy.
"Sure, that's fine, then Gunn can tell me `bout all these stories he's heard bout us. C'mon, Ill take you to our place and you can dump your stuff," said Xander to Gunn.
"That's great, lets go check out your crib," replied Gunn as he followed Xander out of the door.
"Wesley, would you like to put your tings at my place and then we can meet up with the others later. You can tell me all about your LA adventure," said Giles to Wesley.
"Um, that would be great" Wesley said looking back at Cordelia. He was hoping that they could spend some quality time together here, but it seemed they would have to tell everybody about them if that was going to happen. "I'll see you later ladies."
Wesley followed Giles out of the door, reluctant as he was to be
parted from Cordelia. "Right, just us girls then. Let's go back to my place and you can tell us all about LA, the parties, the guys!" Said Buffy enthusiastically.
"That would be great, Buffy" Replied Cordelia. Yeah, she thought to herself, the guys.
Once, everyone had left the shop, Angel appeared from the store cupboard and stood alone in the middle of the Magic Box.
* * *