Ten Commandments of Smutfic Writing.
written by Gileswench

1: Thou shalt keep thy characters in character, even during the most lurid sex act thy fetid imagination canst devise, for if the characters be not the ones appearing on the television, the result be merely porn rather than fanfic.

2: Thou shalt keep track of the number and position of limbs involved and be certain they total not more than the limbs of all characters involved, for unless thou art writing of Cthulu or Doc Ock, there be a finite limit of limbs available to work with, being two arms and two legs per person.

3: Thou shalt not write Giles, nor his partner of either sex as a circus contortionist who may set his/her ass upon her/his head unless this quirk be established in canon as well.

4: Thou shalt match thy terminology to the tone of the scene, rather than limiting thyself to one word for each naughty bit of the human anatomy, regardless of emotional content of thy writing. There be dozens of words to describe the breasts, vagina, penis, and buttocks. No one will serve in every case. Use thy knowledge and imagination to choose the best for thy scene, according to character and to the emotion thou wishest to invoke in thy reader.

5: Thou shalt bear in mind that even the most stevedorish of stevedores hath a sexual limit, and not exceed it by too ludicrous a margin, save when parodying stories in which this commandment be not observed.

6: Thou shalt bear in mind that male genitalia of truly excessive size will do naught but trip Giles and cause his sexual partners to run screaming into the night as from a rabid Chaos Demon.

7: Thou shalt bear in mind that Giles is a man of honor, and a guest in America, for which reasons he would not be so foolish as to ravish his students in the library, which hath neither locking doors nor private areas free of windows.

8: Thou shalt not write of practices which are painful without human characters feeling the pain. Whips may please some, but still they are painful.

9: If thou writest of sexual practices thou hast not participated in, thou shalt research them. Thou shalt do so by finding reputable, factual sources, and not by reading poorly spelt amateur pornography on the internet.

10: Thou shalt write what happeneth before and after the sex. Even the veriest PWP needeth this, if only as an explanation of why the sex doth happen and how the characters feeleth about it in the aftermath.

The Five Corollaries
to the Ten Commandments of Smutwriting

1: That thou writest smut absolves thee not from proper spelling, punctuation, or sentence
construction. Thou shalt seek out and use thy beta reader.

2: Thou shalt write of the emotional experience as well as the body parts involved in the smut. A laundry list of body parts beith lacking in erotic power.

3: Thou shalt not borrow thy smut plotting from low grade porn movies. Do thy best to be original.

4: Thou shalt label thy smut properly when thou dost post, including required warnings as thy listmommy desires thee to use.

5: Thou shalt keep thy sense of humor, for the position and process of sex hath their amusing side.

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