Regrets, Chocolates, And One Night Stands
written by GylzGirl

Rating: FRAO
Spoilers: Band Candy.
Summary: Missing scenes from Band Candy.
Thanks: Thanks to Kazza and Meawan for...well basically just for being alive and being my sisses.
Author's Notes: Okay, I am NOT a Giles/Joyce shipper. This is as close to a G/Joyce fic as you will ever get from me, ever. Flashbacks are denoted by ***.
Feedback Author: GylzGirl
Author's Website: Anthony Head @ Midnight Lore

Rupert Giles awoke with the taste of stale chocolate in his mouth and one thought on his mind, 'Shit!' He sat up in the bed, a bit too suddenly and lay back down to counteract his swimming vision and the dull throbbing in his temples. Whether these were after-effects of the candy curse or the previous day's intermittent boozing, he wasn't sure. He rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to wake up, stubble scratching at his palms. He needed to shave. He needed to shower. He needed to forget the previous day had ever happened. Giles sat up slowly this time and was presented with yet one more reminder that yesterday had indeed occurred. He was stark naked, lying on top of his covers.

He swiveled and sat on the edge of the bed. His feet touched down on the floor and landed on something soft. Giles bent over to investigate and discovered them to be a pair of panties, Joyce Summers' to be precise. He dropped the article, rolling his eyes. "My God." Just like all of Ripper's previous escapades, Giles was sure he would be a long time living this down.

He thought about calling in sick for work, not sure he wanted to face Buffy after spending most of the day before attached at the lips with her mother, and that was just the part she knew about, never mind what they had done in this very bed.

* * * * *

"Hey, Ripper, you wanna watch TV?" She leaned against the cabinet, watching him adoringly, hoping to impress him. "I know how to order pay-per-view."

He had slipped out of his dress shirt, shedding yet another layer of Rupertness. "No, let's go out and have some fun. Tear things up a bit."

"Okay. We could go to the Bronze."

"Not bloody likely. That place is dead."

Joyce shrugged as she watched him fuss with his hair in the mirror. "Ripper?"


"So you like me right?"


"Oh good," she dropped her head, somewhat shyly," cause uh, I was know...thinkin'..."

"Hold that thought Love," he said, extinguishing his cigarette. "I've gotta have a slash and get some real clothes on. Back soon, help yourself." He quickly pecked her on the lips and trotted up the stairs.

When he finished in the bathroom, Ripper began ransacking his bedroom for a pair of blue jeans. The first he found were an old pair he had last worn when he repainted the living room after he first moved in. Perfect. He unbuckled his belt and undid his fly. He slid out of both his slacks and his boxer shorts. Standing there, wearing only a tee-shirt, one leg in his jeans, Joyce's warm hands slid around him and embraced his waist. As she pressed against his back, he could feel that she was naked.

"Whatcha doin' Love?" he said around a sly grin.

"Helping myself. Is that okay?" He turned, still grinning, now even more so as her eyes widened at the sight of his arousal.

"I wouldn't have offered if it weren't." He slipped his hands into her hair and pulled her to his mouth in a hard kiss. He let her tug frantically at his shirt for a while until he broke the kiss, allowing her to slip the garment over his head.

Joyce reached out tentatively to stroke his hair-covered chest. He grabbed her wrist and she tried to jump back, a bit startled. "Come 'ere Joyce." He yanked her against him, never breaking eye-contact. He turned with her slowly, his fingertips lightly trailing over her bare hips and rubbing her bottom. He backed her toward his bed and watched her hungrily as she lay down before him, arms beckoning for him to join her. He knelt onto the bed, legs straddling her body. It had been so long. He considered, for about a second, taking it slowly. Nah, It had been *too* long. Ripper wanted to shag. He brought his body down on hers, careful not to crush her.

Ripper maneuvered his knee between her own and found no resistance as he moved her legs apart and settled between them. He slid himself inside of her, finding her already wet and ready for him. Ripper's deep-throated growl made her shiver. The heat of skin on skin became friction, then fusion as their bodies worked together. The sound of their climaxes blended with the strains of Cream playing from below.

* * * * *

Giles stood up, turned around and tugged the sheets and comforter into a wad in his arms, depositing it into the hamper on his way to the bathroom. He definitely felt the need for a shower.

It wasn't that he felt Joyce was unattractive. He thought she was quite lovely, kind too when she wasn't being accusatory or annoying. She just didn't do anything for him in that respect. To be honest, no one since Jenny had, and for quite a while before her as well. Maybe his standards were too high, now that he had them. Ripper's standards had always been for the girl to be present and willing, and that was about all. And he hated to admit it, even to himself, but even being the mother of his Slayer, that's all Joyce had been.

Giles turned the spray on as hot as he could stand it and stepped under the water. He sighed to himself. He'd just had a one night stand with the mother of his Slayer. That was definitely not going into his Watcher Journal.

11/09/98- Trained Slayer.

11/10/98- Shagged Slayer's mother on top of a police car.

11/11/98- Cataloged new shipments of books.

'Oh yes, that would go down well with the Council, and dear Gods, if Buffy ever found out. The police car,' Giles cringed. He thought he was so cool. Acting all sexy and "taking" Joyce right there on the spot, like something out of a movie.

* * * * *

He swung around the lamppost, raw lust making his eyes glisten. "You are so cool. You're like Burt Reynolds." Joyce was almost giddy from the adrenaline of being a 'bad girl', from the chocolate, from the promise of sex in his walk.

Ripper moved right up against the front of her. He swiftly placed one hand around her neck while slipping the other behind her back, capturing her. Joyce removed the gum from her mouth as he leaned her down over the car's hood, kissing her within an inch of her life. She flicked the gum away into the grass and brought her hand to the back of his neck. He pulled away from her and retrieved her hand. Never taking his eyes from hers, he placed each of her fingers in turn in his mouth. Joyce gulped. "Look at this now Love, you're all sticky." He smiled and kissed her palm. His hand reached down and began to lift the hem of her skirt.


He gathered the skirt around her waist. "Stay put," he breathed in her ear. Ripper knelt before her. He slid the lace and silk panties down her long shapely legs and helped her to step out of them. He put them in his pocket and stood, spreading her legs apart by placing his own between them. He undid his fly, watching her eyes sparkle up at him and roughly pushed the material down. Ripper grabbed her thighs, wrapped her legs around his waist and thrust forward, into her.

She cried out his name, loudly. Ripper smiled and muffled her moans with a kiss. His hips worked himself within her in a steady rhythm. The car squeaked as it bounced up and down beneath them. Joyce climaxed and a few bounces later, Ripper followed.

He looked down and swept the hair back from her face. She smiled up at him. "Come on Love. I want candy." He stood back, pulled his pants up and held his hand out to her, helping her up from the car. He started down the street with her in tow trying to smooth down her skirt.

"Hey, aren't you forgetting something?"

He arched an eyebrow her direction. "Like?"

"Um, something in your pocket?"

"Oh yeah," he pulled out her panties and held them up high. "These?" She made a grab for them and he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her into a kiss and clamping his hand to her ass. He finally lowered the garment into her outstretched hand. As she climbed back into her underwear, he bent over the still unconscious cop.

"What are you doing?"

He stood back up, grinning and holding the cop's handcuff's in his hand, victoriously. "For later, but first dessert." He returned to her, sliding a proprietary arm around her waist. Her finger slipped into his back pocket and pulled out the handcuffs. "What are you doing?" He whispered against her cheek, smiling as he kissed her.

"You'll find out later." She tucked the cuffs behind her into the waistband of her skirt and replaced her hand in the now-empty pocket. He grinned as the hand around her waist slipped down to perch on her butt.

* * * * *

Yeah, he was just the coolest thing around wasn't he? Now all Giles could think was how much he hoped, in this age of overabundant videotaping, everyone was too busy with their own affairs to grab a tape of his pale naked ass bobbing up and down as he fucked Joyce Summers on the hood of the car of the officer he had just assaulted. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so instead he settled on toweling off with a mental note to kill Ethan at the first opportunity.

* * * * *

Giles drove a new route to school to avoid passing by the shop he had vandalized and stolen from the night before. He arrived early enough to skirt into the library without encountering any of the students, especially a select four or five. He knew Buffy and the rest of the group would be testing almost the whole day. That left him both relieved at any albeit brief respite from Buffy's possible inquiries on how far things had gone with her mother, and nervous about that much more time alone to think about everything all over again. An unexpected reprieve arrived in the form of Principal Snyder storming into the library.

"Mr. Giles," he snapped.

"Principal Snyder."

"I wanted to uh...speak to you about last night."

Great. "Ah well to tell you the truth, the whole night is sort of a blur. I uh, don't remember much."

"Uh-huh. Funny. Same here."

"Well that's um, interesting."

"Yes...I think I'll go and give that candy company a call. Complain about their obviously tampered with product."

"Yes good idea," Giles said as Snyder turned to leave. "Spaz," he added under his breath.

"Bully," Snyder whispered just before he went through the doors.

Giles spent the next few hours shelving and actively not thinking. Around noon, he heard the kids approaching from down the hall. He did the only thing he could think to do on the day after the most embarrassing night of his life. He locked himself in his office and pretended not to be there.

* * * * *

The last bell of the day rang and Giles steadied himself for and endless round of teasing by the kids, especially Xander. However at 3:05, only a dejected Buffy entered the room. "Oh yes, your SATs?" She pouted at him, whimpered and sank into the chair, letting her head land with a soft thud on the table before her. He grinned and patted her on the shoulder. "They went that well huh?"

She sat back up. "It was a total nightmare, and believe me I am the expert on those. It was beyond the ubersuck. I'm gonna be the only superhero whose lame-ass day job is hostess at Bucky's Fondue Hut."

"Calm down. You were well-prepared. I'm sure you're overreacting because you're tired from last night." He cringed. 'Oh you just had to open that avenue didn't you?'

"Mom's picking me up in five minutes and she wants details. What am I supposed to tell her?"

"The truth? You did your best and will just have to wait and see how you did."

She pouted up at him, eyes big and round for that perfect 'I'm going to ask you to do something you really don't want to do' look. "Walk me out?"

He sighed, ready to fend off her pleading glance and answered with a firm, "Yes all right." 'Who the hell said that?!'

Buffy stood and walked ahead of him. He followed reluctantly behind, a hearty round of "Taps" playing in his head. "So," Giles said, trying to distract himself from thinking about what he was doing, "tell me about the tests." They walked slowly down the hall together.

"What's there to tell? I came. I saw. I sucked."

"Now now. What specifically happened?" They exited the front doors of Sunnydale High School.

Buffy took a deep breath. "It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt so alone."

"Was that the math or the verbal?"

"Mostly the math."

"Well, if you scored low, then you can take them again."

"More SATs?" she sighed. "Is there really a point? I could die before I even apply to college."

Joyce pulled up in her damaged jeep. Buffy and Giles walked down the outside steps to the curb. "And then, you very possibly might not."

"Well, let's just keep hope alive." Joyce exited her car and approached them.

Now was the moment of truth. "Hello," an uncomfortable smile spread across his features.

"Hi," she said quietly, not really meeting his eyes.

He looked for something to say slightly less pathetic than, 'Lovely weather isn't it?' Then he noticed the dent. "I say, your car seems to have had an adventure, doesn't it?"

Joyce nodded a bit. "Buffy assures me that it happened battling evil, so I'm letting her pay for it on the installment plan."

"Uh, hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually *did* something." She walked around the car and got in the passenger side. They both watched her get in, then turned back to each other, never looking directly at one another.

* * * * *

After defeating the snake demon in the sewers, Buffy and Joyce had gone home. Ripper had gone back to his place, cranked up his Cream album and gone upstairs. As he lay on his bed, a female arm slinked over his chest. "Hey there, thought you got grounded?"

Joyce smiled as he turned over and put his arm around her. "Snuck out." She grinned at him. "Came here. Snuck in. You mad?"

He ran a finger along her jaw, "Do I look mad to you?"

"No. You look gorgeous."

"Me?" He seemed pleased.

"Yeah you."

"Well, if I'm so gorgeous, what do you plan to do with me?"

"Oh, lots of things."


"Yeah. Pity we lost the handcuffs."

"Got a drawer full of ties I can't think of a good use for. Can you?"

She leaned forward and kissed him slowly, " or two..."

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, still riding the chocolate spell.

* * * * *

"Right," Joyce said.

"Indeed," Giles added.

"Yes." Joyce turned quickly and went to her car.

Giles turned back to the school, fingering the car keys in his pocket and planning to visit the candy factory, hoping Ethan was still lurking somewhere, just waiting for the chance to bleed.